THERE is an Arsenal fan who sits just to the left of the Emirates press box and everyone in the football media knows him.
When Mikel Arteta’s leaders were rattling up 50 points in half a season, and when they were on a recent seven-match winning run in the league, Shouty Sweary Man shouted and swore until he was puce in the face.
He did it at the opposition players and coaching staff, at Arsenal’s players, at match officials and at the media who are engaged in a wide-ranging conspiracy to destroy his club.
For the uninitiated, imagine Edvard Munch’s painting ‘The Scream’ with a soundtrack of potty-mouthed Viz character ‘Roger Mellie: The Man On The Telly’. That’s our man.
And we marvelled at the extreme levels of constant rage displayed by some who had paid handsomely to watch a wonderful young team stage a miraculous assault on the title.
But then when Arsenal tossed away two-goal leads to draw at Liverpool and West Ham, surrendering the title-race initiative to Manchester City, we thought of Shouty Sweary Man.
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And we realised that he was no raving lunatic in dire need of a chill pill and an anger management course.
He had, in fact, been the only sane man in the building — a wise mystic who knew what was preordained.
While the media hailed every ‘hallmark of champions’ performance by Arteta’s team, and even the cold-hearted bookies declared them favourites, he always knew Arsenal wouldn’t win it.
City have far more money and know-how, a deeper squad and a more experienced manager, an easier run-in and it was ridiculous that Arsenal should even have given them such a serious fright.
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Yes, the Gunners remain four points clear, having played one game more than City.
But they must travel to the Etihad on Wednesday next week to face a team who have won ten in a row, scoring 37 goals in the process, while chasing the Treble, including a fifth title in six seasons.
If Arsenal finish second, and are anywhere close to City’s points tally, this season will be a triumph.
Yet the real worry — and Shouty Sweary Man will have already thought of this — is that even though Arteta’s team will surely improve next season, probably with West Ham skipper Declan Rice to bolster their midfield, they are unlikely to ever have a better chance of the title.
This is the age of nation-state ownership.
Abu Dhabi reign supreme but the Saudis are rising fast in Geordie Arabia and the Qataris are poised to buy Manchester United.
Arteta is brilliant but how good must he be to prevail over every oil-rich Sheikh and King in the Middle East?
In addition, Chelsea and Liverpool — with higher wage bills than Arsenal — can’t continue to be quite as bad.
While most Arsenal fans revelled in a thrilling campaign, our north- London Cassandra will have spotted this impending doom a mile off.
Arsenal were unable to beat West Ham because Gabriel conceded a clumsy penalty, Bukayo Saka missed a spot-kick and the defence switched off to a ball over the top for Jarrod Bowen’s equaliser.
They were always going to have an off-day because they are inexperienced and several of their players are not genuinely world-class.
And off-days are not allowed in the era of nation-state ownership in which 90 points or more are needed to win titles.
Despite the cliche, two-nil isn’t actually such a ‘dangerous lead’. Arsenal had never previously thrown away two such advantages in consecutive Premier League matches.
But experience tells us champions don’t do such things during a title race.
Of course, Arsenal could still get a result at the Etihad, win at Newcastle and against Brighton and go on a glorious open-top bus parade to Islington Town Hall next month.
Most people sincerely hope they win the league, even those of us in the anti-Arsenal media cartel.
And if they do it, we’ll be there listening out for our hero’s next prophecy.
“You bunch of ****s, you’ll never win it again next season.”
BOEH NOT SO BRIGHT
AS a snapshot of how to run, and how not to run, a top-flight club, Brighton’s 2-1 win at Chelsea was picture perfect.
Here was an £88million winger, Mykhailo Mudryk, being outshone by a £2.5m winger, Kaoru Mitoma. And a £3.6m midfielder, Moises Caicedo, dominating a £100m-plus midfielder, Enzo Fernandez.
As for Brighton’s brilliant Paraguayan match-winner, £9.5m Julio Enciso, well we don’t have anyone to compare him with, as, despite a £600m outlay under Todd Boehly, Chelsea haven’t got a striker.
Boehly thought he’d tapped into the Brighton miracle when he poached Graham Potter, then ditched him months later.
Chelsea also took Brighton’s recruitment chief Paul Winstanley last year — yet seem set on running their transfer operation as the polar opposite of Albion’s.
WATCH ‘EM GO
OLLIE WATKINS produced two goals and an assist, had another effort ruled out by VAR and hit a post as the Aston Villa striker obliterated Newcastle.
Watkins, with 11 goals in 12 games, had given a pre-match interview to BT Sport in which he credited his revival to the fact that, since Unai Emery replaced Steven Gerrard, he is actually being coached to play to his strengths.
Villa are heading for the Europa League, a competition Emery has already won four times with Sevilla and Villarreal.
He probably coached their players well, too.
SNAKES BITTEN
AS we approach the second anniversary of the European Super League debacle, there could be no better antidote than Luton clinching promotion to the Premier League.
Here is a reminder of the wonders of the pyramid system those Big Six ‘snakes’ wanted to escape from, with the Hatters climbing from the fifth-tier National League in nine years without spending serious money.
They thought they were too big to play Luton, so to see them at ramshackle Kenilworth Road next season would be a delight.
COST OF LOYALTY
IT’S season-ticket renewal time and despite obscene levels of TV money being pumped into the Premier League, most supporters face inflation-busting rises in a cost-of-living crisis.
Remember the pandemic, when ‘football without fans was nothing?’ Well, they don’t.
They know they have got you by the knackers because of your loyalty.
And if your skintness outweighs your commitment, they know there will be tens of thousands of tourists happy to pay double for your seat.c
JIMMY A GEM
IN a County Championship match at Chelmsford, England’s greatest Test wicket-taker, Jimmy Anderson, and England’s most prolific Test run-scorer, Sir Alastair Cook, held two fascinating duels.
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On both occasions, 38-year-old Essex opener Cook was trapped leg-before by 40-year-old Lancashire bowler Anderson.
For all of England’s ‘Bazball’ pyrotechnics, Anderson will remain their most important player for this summer’s Ashes.
Source: Soccer - thesun.co.uk
