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      in Motorsport

      Max Verstappen’s Azerbaijan antics and ‘Princess George’ blast at F1 rival Russell were odd – he must act like a champ

      by

      THERE was something unusual about Max Verstappen’s behaviour at the Azerbaijan GP – and no, it was not because he didn’t win (for once!).First, there was his reaction to contact with George Russell in the sprint race, calling him a “d***head” and later referring to the Brit as “Princess George”.
      Max Verstappen and George Russell clashed in Baku over the weekendCredit: Splash
      Verstappen was left fuming with RussellCredit: AFP
      Then there was his petulant response when asked his opinion on the new sprint race format weekend, saying “just scrap the whole thing”.
      It was unusual because recently, we have seen a much-more mature world champion while he has enjoyed plenty of success.
      Sure, he used to blow his top and by his own admission made some mistakes when he came into F1, but based on his recent attitude, in Baku it was uncharacteristic.
      As too was the reaction from his race engineer, Gianpiero Lambiase, who seemed to rev-up Verstappen with his comments during the sprint race.
      Read More in F1
      At one point he radioed Verstappen as he battled Russell saying: “Hold it Max, these guys have got nothing to lose. Just remember that.”
      Verstappen replied: “No mate, he tapped me. That’s how he got the position. F****** report it!”
      Somewhat unprompted, Lambiase later congratulated Verstappen when he made an overtake saying “lovely job Max, without contact as well, nicely done.”
      Of course it was tongue-in-cheek but only served to keep up Verstappen’s fury as he replied “yeah, I know how to do that,” before swearing again.
      Most read in Motorsport
      Perhaps I am over-analysing it, but usually Lambiase has a calming influence on his driver.
      There is no denying Verstappen’s talent.
      He’s the best driver on the grid at the moment when it comes to race craft and tyre management.
      He has now passed Ayrton Senna’s total with 81 F1 podiums and is still only 25-years-old.
      Could he now be feeling pressure of seeing his Red Bull team-mate, Sergio Perez get to within six points of him?
      Irrespective of that, it is all very well being a world champion, but it is another thing to behave like one – and shooting your mouth off isn’t it.
      We have the Miami GP up this weekend where hopefully this time, he will remember to pack his manners.

      TOTTING UP
      INTERESTING to hear Mercedes boss Toto Wolff calling the race “boring”.
      I am sure Red Bull boss Christian Horner would say the same between 2014 and 2020.

      MADE HER MART
      F1’S new all-female racing series kicked off last weekend with Spanish racer Marta Garcia winning both the opening two races at the Red Bull Ring in Austria.
      But the championship, which has the aim of bringing female talent to the F1 grid, would not get off the ground without controversy after British racer Abbi Pulling was disqualified.
      Pulling, part of the Alpine F1 team programme, had taken pole in both qualifying sessions – only to lose from both of them due to an “unintentional technical infringement” related to “non-homologated parts” on all three Rodin Carlin team cars.

      BAGNAIA’S BEST WIN
      MOTOGP world champion Pecco Bagnaia hailed his victory in the Spanish MotoGP at Jerez as his best ever.
      The Ducati ace recovered from a penalty for clashing with Jack Miller to ease the pressure after a slow start to the season.
      Meanwhile, Fabio Quartararo’s miserable run extended after he was forced to take a double long lap penalty for causing a collision.
      The Yamaha rider was adamant he was not to blame and served the penalty before the stewards judged he touched the outside white line upon re-entering the track, forcing him to take it a second time.
      Former MotoGP world champion Quartararo is down in 11th place in the championship.

      ALL THE THRILLS
      FORMULA E returns to action this weekend in Monaco.
      The series is enjoying some competitive racing this season with a whopping 362 overtakes during the last two races in Berlin. More

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      in Soccer

      Brendan Rodgers would be an excellent choice for next Spurs manager, but delusional Tottenham fans could ruin it

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      IF Tottenham fans thought they had reached rock-bottom at Newcastle on Sunday, with their bullet-ridden team 5-0 down after 21 minutes, then they should consider this very real possibility.That Mauricio Pochettino — the best Spurs manager of the last half-century, who had made it clear he fancied a return there — turns up at Chelsea and makes a success of it.
      Mauricio Pochettino is on the verge of joining ChelseaCredit: Getty
      It is difficult to quantify which of these bitter London rivals are in the biggest hole right now.
      Is it Spurs, torched by their own manager Antonio Conte, then leaving his hapless mate Cristian Stellini in interim charge, only to sack the caretaker and appoint Ryan Mason as caretaker- caretaker, with sporting director Fabio Paratici having just been banned from world football for 2½ years?
      Or is it Chelsea, in the bottom half of the Premier League, having spent £606million and with Poch likely to become their FIFTH boss of the season under a new regime which had boasted about stability and long-term planning?
      Either way, either club could have appointed Pochettino to shovel up their sewage. Tottenham weren’t interested and the Blues clearly are.
      READ MORE TOTTENHAM NEWS
      The vast majority of Spurs fans wanted the Argentinian back. Given that he left on warm personal terms with Daniel Levy in 2019 — and given that little has gone right since — re-hiring Pochettino seemed a no-brainer for a deeply unpopular chairman.
      Take out Pochettino’s 5½-year reign, when Spurs massively over-achieved as runners-up in the Champions League and Premier League, and Levy’s 22-year stewardship of Spurs has, in footballing terms, been an unmitigated failure.
      That Poch has apparently been blanked by Levy is bizarre even by Tottenham’s standards.
      The Stellini experiment failed even more spectacularly than most had predicted, with Spurs in danger of plunging out of the European places completely following their 6-1 thrashing at St James’ Park.
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      Tottenham were humiliated by Newcastle on SundayCredit: Getty
      Two years ago, when Spurs were last in this position — winding down a poor season with Mason in charge — it took them 72 days before they stumbled upon Nuno Espirito Santo.
      Then, as now, Julian Nagelsmann was the initial favourite, before he became one of several men to snub the job.
      Nagelsmann’s own dalliance with Chelsea appears to have broken down mutually, leaving that door open for Pochettino.
      Spurs haven’t had a boss with any true sense of permanence since Poch.
      And as a result nobody has been able to act upon the obvious fact that their goalkeeper and captain Hugo Lloris, 36, has been past his best for some time.
      That particular chicken came home to roost when a shellshocked Lloris was withdrawn at half-time on Tyneside, claiming a hip injury when a diagnosis of wounded pride seemed more likely.
      Either club could have appointed Pochettino to shovel up their sewage. Tottenham weren’t interested and the Blues clearly are.Dave Kidd
      Stellini opted for a back four against Newcastle, then decided his decision “might not have been right” when he reverted to a defensive five midway through the first half with his side five-down.
      It was possibly the most glaring example in footballing history of shutting the stable door after the horse had bolted.
      Until Levy trumped it on Monday by sacking Stellini while branding the performance at Newcastle “wholly unacceptable” and “devastating”.
      Stellini, a convicted match-fixer, had one previous managerial job in the Italian third tier, which ended with him being axed after three wins in 16 games. So this isn’t a case of 20-20 hindsight.
      Whoever takes charge of Spurs next season — and Brendan Rodgers would be an excellent choice, if an unpopular one with a largely-delusional Spurs support base — it will not be Poch.
      Brendan Rodgers is out of working after being sacked by LeicesterCredit: Getty Images – Getty
      When he left Spurs, the fear was he might end up at Arsenal, who were about to sack Unai Emery.
      Instead it looks like Chelsea, whose increasingly-bitter rivalry with Spurs has made fixtures between the clubs as heated as North London derbies.
      It is not as if Pochettino will be entering any less of a madhouse at Stamford Bridge. But he’ll have better players, and a bigger budget, at Todd Boehly’s comedy club.
      And the 51-year-old will not be too bothered about inheriting an unbalanced and bloated squad.
      This is a bloke who had Kylian Mbappe and Neymar at Paris Saint-Germain and was then told he was getting Lionel Messi, despite advising his bosses that he did not need the little maestro.
      After that exercise in ego management, dealing with the likes of Enzo Fernandez and Mykhailo Mudryk should be plain sailing.
      Whoever takes charge of Spurs next season — and Brendan Rodgers would be an excellent choice, if an unpopular one with a largely-delusional Spurs support base — it will not be Poch.Dave Kidd
      For all the shambles of Boehly’s first nine months, Chelsea could still compete next term, under an excellent workaholic coach in Pochettino.
      That’s provided they sign a world-class centre-forward and sell several players to comply with Financial Fair Play and give them enough space to fit everybody inside the dressing room!
      Should Poch make a decent fist of it, and his record suggests he might, anger towards Levy will only grow.
      The chairman gave a rare public address recently to the Cambridge Union, in which he told some of the nation’s finest young minds that Spurs are “the greatest club in the world”.
      Read More on The Sun
      And this is the danger with over-estimating your own intelligence and always believing you are the smartest man in the room.
      You end up sounding foolish, you end up 5-0 down after 21 minutes, and you end up allowing the best thing that ever happened to you to fall into the arms of a sworn enemy.
      Cristian Stellini is the latest manager to be axed by SpursCredit: Getty More

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      in Soccer

      Dave Kidd: Arsenal’s ‘Sweary Shouty Man’ may have been right… Gunners WON’T win Prem and might not get a better chance

      by

      THERE is an Arsenal fan who sits just to the left of the Emirates press box and everyone in the football media knows him.When Mikel Arteta’s leaders were rattling up 50 points in half a season, and when they were on a recent seven-match winning run in the league, Shouty Sweary Man shouted and swore until he was puce in the face.
      Arsenal may not have a better chance to win the Premier LeagueCredit: Reuters
      He did it at the opposition players and coaching staff, at Arsenal’s players, at match officials and at the media who are engaged in a wide-ranging conspiracy to destroy his club.
      For the uninitiated, imagine Edvard Munch’s painting ‘The Scream’ with a soundtrack of potty-mouthed Viz character ‘Roger Mellie: The Man On The Telly’. That’s our man.
      And we marvelled at the extreme levels of constant rage displayed by some who had paid handsomely to watch a wonderful young team stage a miraculous assault on the title.
      But then when Arsenal tossed away two-goal leads to draw at Liverpool and West Ham, surrendering the title-race initiative to Manchester City, we thought of Shouty Sweary Man.
      READ MORE ON ARSENAL
      And we realised that he was no raving lunatic in dire need of a chill pill and an anger management course.
      He had, in fact, been the only sane man in the building — a wise mystic who knew what was preordained.
      While the media hailed every ‘hallmark of champions’ performance by Arteta’s team, and even the cold-hearted bookies declared them favourites, he always knew Arsenal wouldn’t win it.
      City have far more money and know-how, a deeper squad and a more experienced manager, an easier run-in and it was ridiculous that Arsenal should even have given them such a serious fright.
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      Yes, the Gunners remain four points clear, having played one game more than City.
      But they must travel to the Etihad on Wednesday next week to face a team who have won ten in a row, scoring 37 goals in the process, while chasing the Treble, including a fifth title in six seasons.
      If Arsenal finish second, and are anywhere close to City’s points tally, this season will be a triumph.
      Yet the real worry — and Shouty Sweary Man will have already thought of this ­— is that even though Arteta’s team will surely improve next season, probably with West Ham skipper Declan Rice to bolster their midfield, they are unlikely to ever have a better chance of the title.
      This is the age of nation-state ownership.
      Abu Dhabi reign supreme but the Saudis are rising fast in Geordie Arabia and the Qataris are poised to buy Manchester United.
      Arteta is brilliant but how good must he be to prevail over every oil-rich Sheikh and King in the Middle East?
      In addition, Chelsea and Liverpool — with higher wage bills than Arsenal — can’t continue to be quite as bad.
      While most Arsenal fans revelled in a thrilling campaign, our north- London Cassandra will have spotted this impending doom a mile off.
      Arsenal were frustrated by West Ham at the weekendCredit: Rex
      Arsenal were unable to beat West Ham because Gabriel conceded a clumsy penalty, Bukayo Saka missed a spot-kick and the defence switched off to a ball over the top for Jarrod Bowen’s equaliser.
      They were always going to have an off-day because they are inexperienced and several of their players are not genuinely world-class.
      And off-days are not allowed in the era of nation-state ownership in which 90 points or more are needed to win titles.
      Despite the cliche, two-nil isn’t actually such a ‘dangerous lead’. Arsenal had never previously thrown away two such advantages in consecutive Premier League matches.
      But experience tells us champions don’t do such things during a title race.
      Of course, Arsenal could still get a result at the Etihad, win at Newcastle and against Brighton and go on a glorious open-top bus parade to Islington Town Hall next month.
      Most people sincerely hope they win the league, even those of us in the anti-Arsenal media cartel.
      And if they do it, we’ll be there listening out for our hero’s next prophecy.
      “You bunch of ****s, you’ll never win it again next season.”
      BOEH NOT SO BRIGHT
      AS a snapshot of how to run, and how not to run, a top-flight club, Brighton’s 2-1 win at Chelsea was picture perfect.
      Here was an £88million winger, Mykhailo Mudryk, being outshone by a £2.5m winger, Kaoru Mitoma. And a £3.6m midfielder, Moises Caicedo, dominating a £100m-plus midfielder, Enzo Fernandez.
      As for Brighton’s brilliant Paraguayan match-winner, £9.5m Julio Enciso, well we don’t have anyone to compare him with, as, despite a £600m outlay under Todd Boehly, Chelsea haven’t got a striker.
      Boehly thought he’d tapped into the Brighton miracle when he poached Graham Potter, then ditched him months later.
      Chelsea also took Brighton’s recruitment chief Paul Winstanley last year — yet seem set on running their transfer operation as the polar opposite of Albion’s.
      WATCH ‘EM GO
      OLLIE WATKINS produced two goals and an assist, had another effort ruled out by VAR and hit a post as the Aston Villa striker obliterated Newcastle.
      Watkins, with 11 goals in 12 games, had given a pre-match interview to BT Sport in which he credited his revival to the fact that, since Unai Emery replaced Steven Gerrard, he is actually being coached to play to his strengths.
      Villa are heading for the Europa League, a competition Emery has already won four times with Sevilla and Villarreal.
      He probably coached their players well, too.
      SNAKES BITTEN
      AS we approach the second anniversary of the European Super League debacle, there could be no better antidote than Luton clinching promotion to the Premier League.
      Here is a reminder of the wonders of the pyramid system those Big Six ‘snakes’ wanted to escape from, with the Hatters climbing from the fifth-tier National League in nine years without spending serious money.
      They thought they were too big to play Luton, so to see them at ramshackle Kenilworth Road next season would be a delight.
      COST OF LOYALTY
      IT’S season-ticket renewal time and despite obscene levels of TV money being pumped into the Premier League, most supporters face inflation-busting rises in a cost-of-living crisis.
      Remember the pandemic, when ‘football without fans was nothing?’ Well, they don’t.
      They know they have got you by the knackers because of your loyalty.
      And if your skintness outweighs your commitment, they know there will be tens of thousands of tourists happy to pay double for your seat.c
      JIMMY A GEM
      IN a County Championship match at Chelmsford, England’s greatest Test wicket-taker, Jimmy Anderson, and England’s most prolific Test run-scorer, Sir Alastair Cook, held two fascinating duels.
      Read More on The Sun
      On both occasions, 38-year-old Essex opener Cook was trapped leg-before by 40-year-old Lancashire bowler Anderson.
      For all of England’s ‘Bazball’ pyrotechnics, Anderson will remain their most important player for this summer’s Ashes. More

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      in Motorsport

      Ben Hunt: F1 facing China crisis as Covid cancels Shanghai GP AGAIN… but can they afford to scrap it altogether?

      by

      PARTNERS and families of people who work in F1 must be wondering what has happened — because their loved ones still have another week at home.It seems like a long time ago that we had the Australian Grand Prix.
      Chinese driver Zhou Guanyu has joined Alfa RomeoCredit: Getty
      And there are still 12 days to go until the Azerbaijan GP.
      Aside from the winter off-season, where there are obviously no races, such a spell at home is unheard of.
      For context, the travel demands in F1 were once so tough that an enforced two-week break was inserted into the rulebook — known as the summer shutdown — amid rocketing divorce rates within the sport.
      This season sees, for the first time, an enforced winter break as teams rightly consider the impact a gruelling schedule has on their workforce.
      READ MORE ON F1
      The 2023 season is the longest in the sport’s history — 266 days across 23 races running from the start of March to the end of November.
      It would have been 24 but for the decision to cancel the Chinese Grand Prix in Shanghai — which caused this unexpected four-week break.
      This time at home might be welcome, but for Formula One it represents a problem and raises a question about the future of this race.
      The schedule is limited to a maximum of 24 races and organisers of the Chinese GP are allocated one of those slots and have another two years left to run on their contract.
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      Yet with the other 23 slots all signed up, it means F1 is at the mercy of China.
      By that I don’t mean the organisers of the GP, but the country’s Covid stance, including on quarantine, and their ability to process the incoming freight and subsequent logistics.
      It was a combination of both that saw the trigger pulled on this year’s race, F1 acting swiftly in December but maybe not quick enough to thrash out a deal for a suitable replacement.
      There is some suggestion from sources in China that F1 chiefs were too hasty to cancel this year’s race  — but maybe that was done so as to find an alternative race.
      F1 has to include the Chinese GP as part of its planning, but that means bosses are not able to sell that spot on the calendar to another bidder.
      Be that South Africa, Turkey, a second race in Saudi Arabia, or to whoever stumped up the cash.
      A hastily-arranged deal would not be as lucrative, not to mention cause a logistical problem for teams.
      The reality is that there has been no Chinese GP since 2019.
      But since then, a Chinese driver has joined the grid in Zhou Guanyu, who races for Alfa Romeo.
      And we are yet to see the full impact his arrival in the sport has had back home.
      There are currently just two Asian races on this year’s calendar — Japan and Singapore. The Middle East has twice as many.
      The simple fact is, F1 cannot really afford to have an unknown each year when it comes to the Chinese GP.
      Should they just bite the bullet and cancel the contract?
      However, with the potential for investment and sponsorship — not to mention a huge TV audience — can they afford not to at least give it another go?
      For what it is worth, I firmly believe that there will be another Chinese GP in Shanghai, I am just not too sure when that will be.
      LOAD OF BULL
      Daniil Kvyat felt betrayed by Red BullCredit: Getty
      DANIIL KVYAT says he felt “betrayed” and “stabbed in the back” when Red Bull demoted him to Toro Rosso in favour of Max Verstappen in 2016.
      Kvyat, 28, once dubbed ‘The Torpedo’ for the way he crashed into people, is now racing for Lamborghini in their World Endurance Championship.
      He has also detached himself from Russia, the country of his birth and will compete under his Italian racing licence.
      RIN-CREDIBLE
      Alex Rins won the MotoGP in AustinCredit: Reuters
      IT IS amazing to think that Alex Rins’ victory for Honda in Austin was the team’s first win in 539 days and 24 Grands Prix.
      The Japanese giants have the biggest budget and most resources in MotoGP and, finally, they have broken their horror run.
      Spaniard Rins was able to capitalise after world champion Pecco Bagnaia slid off while leading the race.
      The Italian had dominated all weekend at the Circuit of the Americas but has been left rattled by his second expensive error in consecutive races.
      He said: “Now it’s another week in a row, I don’t know why. So I am quite angry and disappointed — but not with myself.
      “I am 100 per cent sure it wasn’t my fault. We have to understand it, we don’t know how it’s happening.”
      E-XCITED
      Felipe Drugovich will drive for MaseratiCredit: Getty
      FORMULA E is returning this weekend in Berlin.
      The series then holds a rookie test on Monday where F2 champ Felipe Drugovich will drive for Maserati MSG Racing.
      Brits Jonny Edgar and Jack Aitken test for Envision.
      MORE SEATS
      Two new grandstands are set to be built for the Singapore GPCredit: Splash
      SINGAPORE GP chiefs put in two new grandstands for September’s race due to increased ticket demand.
      But those hoping to go need to get in quick because even those are selling fast and it is close to a sell-out.
      Read More on The Sun
      GOR BLIMEY
      Gordon Murray unveiled the new T.33 SpiderCredit: PA
      I ATTENDED Goodwood’s 80th Members’ Meeting at the weekend.
      The highlights were seeing the Lotus Cortina race plus the unveiling of the new T.33 Spider by legendary F1 designer Gordon Murray. More

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      in Soccer

      Premier League spats are all the rage and we can’t get enough – it was a matter of time before an official got involved

      by

      ROLL up, roll up for the Anger Games.The Premier League’s age of rage shows no sign of abating after a week when Nottingham Forest’s groundsman and Brentford’s goalkeeping coach were charged by the FA for a pre-match bust-up.
      Andy Robertson was enraged after being elbowed by an official over the weekendCredit: Reuters
      Constantine Hatzidakis has come under the microscope after his elbowCredit: PA
      A few days earlier, two video analysts from Aston Villa and Arsenal were put up before the beak for a bout of fisticuffs in the Villa Park press box.
      Then we all revelled in a “disrespect” spat between Brighton boss Roberto De Zerbi and Tottenham’s caretaker chief Cristian Stellini, which sounded like a mafioso blood feud scripted by Martin Scorsese, that started before kick-off and ended with both men red-carded.
      So, the footballing week simply came to its natural conclusion at Anfield, on Sunday, when a steaming Andy Robertson confronted linesman Constantine Hatzidakis, who responded with an elbow to the Liverpool man’s throat.
      With players, groundsmen, coaches, managers, caretakers and even two laptop-wielding tactics wonks all engulfed by red mist, it was only a matter of time before a linesman would choose to stick one on a fuming Glaswegian full-back.
      Read More in Football
      Sadly, Watford’s hooligan mascot Harry the Hornet is currently absent from the top flight but this man has previously started high-profile rumbles from inside a giant fluffy wasp costume.
      We haven’t had a serious ballboy brawl since Eden Hazard, then at Chelsea, kicked off at a lad from Swansea.
      And as for the Premier League’s tea ladies, there is an apparent anger deficiency in a department where boiling point seems such an obvious target.
      Because pretty much everyone else involved in the top flight is permanently ranting and raging and, frankly, this is what the public demand.
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      Nottingham Forest’s groundsman and Brentford’s goalkeeping coach were involved in a bust up
      Cristian Stellini and Roberto De Zerbi were both red carded at the weekendCredit: Reuters
      When Fulham striker Aleksandar Mitrovic received an eight-match ban — which the FA want to extend — for pushing referee Chris Kavanagh at Old Trafford last month, we were told the Serbian’s punishment would act as a deterrent.
      Apparently, it was going to boost the FA’s Respect campaign, when the last thing anybody in English top-flight football actually wants is anybody showing anybody else any respect whatsoever.
      ‘What about those grassroots? What about the poor children?’ I hear you cry.
      Well, any parent wishing to hold up anyone in professional football as a role model should be automatically referred to social services.
      No, what we want are more hissy fits, more bouts of the screaming abdabs, more weapons-grade “passion” to prove that the outcome of Premier League football matches matters more than dear life itself.
      Why pay through the nose for subscription TV if this stuff isn’t getting people consistently wound-up beyond all reason?
      What football really needed was for a linesman to join in and give as good as he got.
      When they talk about replacing assistant refs with robot linesmen, surely these droids — in the spirit of Hatzidakis — should be armed like Robocop or the Terminator?
      Aleksandar Mitrovic has been slapped with an eight-match banCredit: AFP
      Harry the Hornet was previously the Prem’s best wind-up merchant mascotCredit: AFP
      Since the Mitrovic flashpoint, incidents of players aggressively surrounding referees and laying hands on officials only seems to have increased.
      While no other culprit has been a big burly Serb with a mistaken reputation for thuggishness, the rest have got off scot-free.
      Hatzidakis may have been stood down pending an FA investigation but his violent retaliation is a boon to the Premier League’s great global soap opera, as it will be debated with worldwide wonderment.
      What was the most-talked about weekend incident?
      Erling Haaland’s bicycle kick? That  Matheus  Nunes thundercracker for Wolves against Chelsea?
      Mo Salah’s penalty miss in Liverpool’s 2-2 draw with Arsenal?
      Of course not. It was the extraordinary sight of a linesman tw*tting a player.
      We are indebted to Roy Keane — employed by Sky Sports as an ill-tempered caricature to ensure outrage levels never drop below acceptable standards — for pointing out, at half-time and full-time, that Robertson acted like “a big baby”.
      Keane, who frequently led baying mobs of Manchester United players intimidating match officials during his playing days, clearly didn’t believe Robertson had been manly enough when provoking Hatzidakis.
      Study footage of Keane in his pomp and you will see proper eye-bulging fury.
      Note the veins in the Irishman’s temples seemingly ready to rip.
      Those were proper full-on adult strops.
      None of your Robertson-style dummy-spitting toddler tantrums.
      One of the game’s greatest con-jobs was the idea VAR would increase respect towards refs and calm tempers. Mostly, we used to accept referees were fallible humans without eyes in the back of their heads.
      Now that we’ve got men in Stockley Park poring over countless replays of every major incident, football demands forensic justice and gets more furious than ever when those heightened expectations are not met.
      Instead, we get Howard Webb apologising to Wolves and Brighton every alternate Monday — while  people still bleat on about officials “lacking consistency” when all of them consistently do over Wolves and Brighton.
      And we get the FA’s disciplinary department jammed up by flare-ups between increasingly unlikely members of club staff.
      It took five months for the FA to conclude a probe into the altercation between Forest groundsman Ewan Hunter and coach Manu Sotelo, after a disagreement over the length of Brentford’s warm-up at the City Ground in November.
      Because why wait for the opening whistle before you can start getting extremely annoyed?
      Even the tactics boffins aren’t immune. Arsenal’s “technical analyst coach” Miguel Molina apparently blew a kiss at Villa’s “head of performance analysis” Victor Manas after a late Gunners goal in February, sparking a physical brawl in an area once reserved for boring-old media neutrality.
      Stop rattling on about “expected goals”, please boys. Give us the stats for expected fights.
      Still, after the mild-mannered and emotionally intelligent Graham Potter was inevitably sacked by Chelsea, we realised the Premier League’s one true cardinal sin.
      The crime of not being angry enough.
      Blues in a jam now
      I KNOW most of you believe that all  members of the football media congregate en masse to enjoy Christmas dinner with the extended Lampard-Redknapp family every year.
      But despite this supposed chumminess, I can’t honestly suggest that Frank Lampard’s return as Chelsea’s caretaker manager — just before a Champions League quarter-final against Real Madrid — will do any good for either club or boss.
      I do, though, love the idea of James Corden advising Chelsea supremo Todd Boehly to give the gig to Lampard, who is famously loathed by Corden’s fellow West Ham fans.
      Corden’s Carpool Karaoke phenomenon, where the likes of Madonna, Paul McCartney and Michelle Obama sing along with Big Jimmy in his motor, should now be adapted for the Stamford Bridge dugout, where A-list celebrities get to manage Chelsea on a short-term basis to generate viral internet content.
      James Corden is pals with Chelsea chief Todd BoehlyCredit: Getty
      Erl’s Gunner win it all
      AFTER 44 goals in 38 matches for Manchester City, it would be a travesty if Erling Haaland is not crowned the FWA’s Footballer of the Year and PFA Player of the Year — whether Manchester City win the Treble or nothing at all.
      Individual awards are exactly that and, while leaders Arsenal have several excellent candidates, suggestions that any of Mikel Arteta’s Gunners have had a bigger impact on the season than Haaland are nonsense.
      Erling Haaland has been on fire for Manchester CityCredit: PA
      Roy’s a boy
      VETERAN Roy Hodgson’s outstanding return to Crystal Palace — with his previously-toothless team notching two wins and seven goals in two matches — represents a significant blow against ageism.
      Joe Biden, five years older than Hodgson, is the most powerful man in the world.
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      He has his finger on the nuclear button — and will seek re-election as US President shortly before his 82nd birthday next year.
      So the idea that a 75-year-old might have struggled to bring the best out of Eberechi Eze was pretty low-grade by comparison.
      Roy Hodgson has made an instant impact back at Crystal PalaceCredit: Rex More

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      Man Utd’s lack of desire in dour defeat to Newcastle isn’t a surprise – this spineless bunch have gone missing for years

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      WHERE’s the hairdryer when you need it?In the week that Sir Alex Ferguson was inducted into the Premier League Hall of Fame, Manchester United were again betraying the values of football’s greatest manager.
      Erik ten Hag slammed his players after the defeat to NewcastleCredit: Getty
      He was ‘shocked’ by the lack of desireCredit: Getty
      Erik Ten Hag claimed he was shocked by the lack of desire and hunger from his players during Sunday’s tame surrender at Newcastle.
      But he really shouldn’t be surprised because this spineless bunch have been going missing for years.
      It’s a curious anomaly that six of this season’s seven League defeats have been suffered on a Sunday as Ten Hag has become more accustomed to Black Sabbath than Ozzy Osbourne.
      And while everyone is entitled to an occasional off day, it’s becoming a habit for the workshy Reds.
      READ MORE ON MAN UNITED
      That’s a serious concern for Ten Hag, because the lack of characters in this team of underachievers is threatening to sabotage all his hard work to make United a real force again.
      When the Dutchman ordered his players on a 14k run after August’s humiliating 4-0 defeat by Brentford, fans dared to hope that they had finally found a manager who meant business.
      And when he benched Cristiano Ronaldo before showing him the door, it was regarded as further evidence of his ruthless streak.
      But the message is clearly not getting through because too many players still refuse to put in the hard yards which is the minimum requirement for any ambitious team.
      Most read in Football
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      They weren’t just beaten by upwardly mobile Newcastle at the weekend, they were outrun, outfought and outclassed.
      It was exactly the same story during last month’s 7-0 massacre by Liverpool, the 6-3 humiliation at Manchester City, the 3-1 shellacking at Aston Villa and that early season embarrassment at Brentford.
      Players refusing to run back after losing the ball, chucking in the towel, gesticulating at underperforming team-mates, failing to defend set-pieces, leaving the dirty work to others and spending more energy challenging the referee than the opposition.
      And, yes, Bruno Fernandes, we do mean you.
      Handing the captain’s armband to the petulant Portuguese sends out all the wrong messages to a weak-willed dressing-room never slow to seize on an excuse.
      Imagine Roy Keane’s reaction if any of his team-mates ever confessed on live TV: “We didn’t have the right hunger or attitude.”
      His feet wouldn’t have touched the ground.
      But that is exactly what Luke Shaw admitted after the latest no-show which allowed upwardly mobile Newcastle to leapfrog United into third place in the table.
      It’s a good job that Chelsea, Liverpool and Spurs have all been so hopeless this season which means United should still be able to hang on for a top four finish and Champions League qualification.
      Yet it was only a month ago that fans were seriously talking up a potential quadruple bid even though their team was eight points behind leaders Arsenal.
      Well now that gap has stretched to 22 and though United have a couple of games in hand they are still destined to finish a country mile behind the eventual Champions.
      Of course, that is nothing new for a club which has failed to challenge for the title since Ferguson left the dug-out in 2013.
      They still like to think of themselves as the biggest club in the world but that bold claim only holds water if we’re talking about commercial revenue and social media followers.
      On the pitch, where it really matters, they’re not even the biggest club in Manchester.
      Maybe this is all part of a cunning plan to crash the share price and force the Glazers to lower their asking price.
      Because anyone who thinks this lot is worth £6billion needs their head examining.
      RING ROO
      Wayne Rooney wants to try his hands at boxingCredit: Reuters
      WAYNE ROONEY has apparently been texting Eddie Hearn asking the promoter to set up fights for him against various celebrity influencers and YouTubers.
      Watching Anthony Joshua’s laboured victory over Jermaine Franklin at the weekend, Wazza now probably fancies a crack at the former heavyweight champ.
      It would certainly generate more interest than Saturday’s snooze-fest.
      BACH UP
      Thomas Bach has hit back at his criticsCredit: AP
      OLYMPIC president Thomas Bach has called critics of his proposal to include Russian athletes at next year’s Paris games “deplorable.”
      Presumably he’s referring to the outraged Ukrainians, who are ready to boycott the event if any of Putin’s people participate.
      Under Bach’s preposterous plans, Russian and Belarussian athletes will be allowed to compete as independent Olympians as long as they have not publicly supported Russia’s illegal invasion of a sovereign nation.
      And he doesn’t understand how abhorrent that would be to all the Ukrainians whose heroic resistance has inspired the whole world.
      If Britain, the USA and all our western allies are serious in their support for Volodomyr Zelensky, we must make it crystal clear that we will not be part of the IOC’s sportswashing charade.
      But don’t hold your breath on that happening because Wimbledon has already been forced to lift their ban on Russian and Belarussian players under the threat of sanctions from the tennis authorities.
      And while Russian football teams are banned from international competitions for now, it’s understood that ridiculous FIFA president Gianni Infantino is lobbying for their return.
      Don’t forget that Russia has been suspended from all major sporting events since 2019 due to constant breaches of anti-doping regulations.
      But now we’re being asked to forget about all the cheating and murdering because international rules are apparently made to be broken.
      RAF SERVICE
      Rafa Benitez has been linked with the Leicester City jobCredit: Getty
      THERE have been 13 managerial vacancies in the Premier League this season yet Rafa Benitez still remains out of a job. 
      It makes you wonder if he’s quite the football visionary he would have us all believe.
      AUS GOING ON?
      Max Verstappen won the Australian GPCredit: The Mega Agency
      DOES anyone know what happened at Sunday’s Australian Grand Prix because I’m f***ed if I could understand how the race was won?
      Even world champion Max Verstappen could barely raise a smile when he took his place at the top of the podium after three hours of organised chaos.
      With more flags than the world semaphore championships and a restart every couple of laps, it was obvious that no-one had a clue what was going on.
      The FIA seemed to be making up the rules as they went along and showed absolutely no consideration for the bewildered spectators at Albert Park.
      Maybe it will all make sense when Netflix launches its next series but will anyone bother to wait that long?
      Read More on The Sun
      TOFFEE WRAPPED
      EVERTON have warned that they might not be able to compete as a going concern if they are relegated this season.
      How will we be able to tell? More

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      Tony Adams: Arsenal might be eight points ahead in Premier League title race.. but it’s STILL Man City’s to lose

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      IF Manchester City were eight points clear with ten games to go, there would not even be a question about the title race already being over.But because it’s Arsenal in that position, I still don’t think they’re favourites to be champions.
      Arsenal could find it harder and harder the closer they get to the finishing lineCredit: EPA
      Erling Haaland and Co will be desperate to close the gap for champs Man CityCredit: Rex
      Speaking from personal experience, I know just how difficult it is to get over that finishing line for the first time.
      Arsenal are going to get tighter and tighter with every game they play.
      In our last ten games of the season we were scrapping at home against teams who had absolutely nothing to play for.
      We lost 2-1 at home to Derby and Dean Saunders scored twice. I was ready to rip his head off.

      I was screaming ‘Jesus Christ, why are you trying so hard? Do you want Liverpool to win the title again?’
      He told me he was  trying to win the Golden Boot and I said ‘well just stop it’.
      But that’s how it’s going to be for Arsenal over the next two months because every game is going to feel like a cup final.
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      City might have as many as 18 more games to play but Pep Guardiola has so much talent at his disposal that he can pick one team in the league and another for the cup competitions.
      Most read in Football
      They’ve won the title before and because they’re coming from behind they will be able to play with much more freedom than Arsenal.
      Speaking from personal experience, I know just how difficult it is to get over that finishing line for the first time.Tony Adams
      It’s going to be so tight and right now I’m experiencing a proper Fever Pitch moment because I’m watching every game from the edge of my seat like a proper fan.
      Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that Arsenal have been knocked out of the Europa League because it was never going to be their priority once they hit the top of the league.
      We all saw what happened in that competition when they rested some of their top boys and they’re definitely not going to win the league with their back-up players.
      Even with their best players available, they might not do it.
      I might be the only person saying this but I still think it’s  City’s title to lose. More

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      Once the home of Carlos Tevez, Oscar and even Gazza, China’s football revolution has come to a grinding halt

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      THERE’S a China crisis in football.Harsh Covid restrictions and the country’s dawdling economy have seriously delayed president Xi Jinping’s planned revolution in the game.
      Carlos Tevez spent a year playing in China for Shanghai ShenhuaCredit: AFP or licensors
      Oscar left Chelsea for China in 2017Credit: AFP
      This was for on-the-slide foreign players to receive spectacular rewards in heavily-funded teams to go with thousands of pitches to encourage the proletariat.
      The fixation washed over league football here, too.
      Because at one time, Aston Villa, Wolves, Birmingham City and West Brom all had multi-millionaire Chinese owners.
      Villa were glad to get rid of theirs in 2019, Blues have been trying to for years.
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      Albion fans hate theirs, which leaves Wolves who have generally been well-treated by Fosun Group, whose interests vary from Covid vaccinations to Thomas Cook.
      Professional football in the Middle East oil states is attracting mercenaries who previously would have turned to the Chinese Super League to help fill their bank accounts.
      Paul Gascoigne in 2003 was a rarity.
      He wanted somewhere to play.
      Most read in Football
      Elsewhere, the draw of the yuan since 2004 was staggeringly high.
      Oscar, the Brazilian formerly of Chelsea, and Carlos Tevez, briefly of West Ham, are two who paved their retirement with gold.
      Oscar earned £550,000 a week while Tevez pocketed a ‘mere’ £400,000 a week.
      Hundreds and hundreds of others from around the world joined the gold rush — no fewer than 232 from Brazil.
      Then along came Covid…
      In the country from which the pandemic was unleashed, its government reacted with a rigid lockdown for nearly three years.
      Major clubs have closed and a cap of £3million a year was imposed on all earnings.
      Although the Chinese Super League draws big crowds in the immensely populated cities, and most of its 16 clubs still feature foreigners, the standard is not particularly high.
      And football lovers get their biggest kicks from Premier League viewing.
      Their national team has qualified for the World Cup finals once in 40 years.
      But Xi believes in sport as a binding communal activity — as any good Communist might.
      And after goalless failure in 2002, his reaction was to create fresh pitches on a breathtaking scale of 600 times the 82 on Hackney Marshes.
      Such political orders seldom work out and, sure enough, only about 3,000 have so far been laid.
      And despite pictures showing lots of boys training in military fashion, plus a population of 1.4billion, China has not produced an international star.
      Plainly, the production line is not functioning well and even more slowly since the Chinese claim to have invented football.
      As hands and feet were used, it was more like rugby than football.
      Finally, in the Middle Ages it was banned under the Ming (no relation to Tyrone) dynasty.
      Xi is a fan of physical exercise for the masses.
      An official state goal is for China to be the best team in Asia by 2030 and World Cup winners by 2050 — both of which are just about conceivable but not until attitudes change.
      European coaches there say parents want their children to be, say, accountants or nuclear scientists and are suspicious of ball-kicking tempting them away from study.
      Which explains why, crucially, about as many people as on Sunday mornings on Hackney Marshes actually play the game in their spare time.
      Meanwhile, the kids they want to attract to play the game are among ultra-millions watching the Premier League on TV.
      Read More on The Sun
      Gazza was a rare Brit to try China and not because he wanted to study nuclear fusion.
      He stayed for two months and then legged it home. More