YOU’D think that to be accused of cheating would be the worst that could happen in sport.And that you would be kicked out and treated as a pariah.
The Premier League has charged Manchester City with 115 counts of breaking the league’s financial rulesCredit: Reuters
Man City manager Pep GuardiolaCredit: PA
Well, let’s see what happens to Manchester City.
After a long and painstaking investigation, the Premier League has charged City with 115 counts of breaking the league’s financial rules.
In short, the Premier League is accusing Manchester City of false accounting.
Of overvaluing the amounts of money they got in from sponsorship deals and other legitimate sources of revenue.
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And undervaluing their costs.
In other words lying, over a long period of time, about how much money they had and how much they were spending.
This is called cheating.
All the teams in the Premier League — and in the lower divisions — must abide by Financial Fair Play rules.
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This governs what percentage of their income can be spent on wages and transfers and so on.
It ensures the books are balanced.
And its purpose is to stop clubs going out of business by spending beyond their means.
In short, if you haven’t got a pot to p**s in, you can’t buy Kylian Mbappe.
It’s pretty straightforward.
But it’s not straightforward the way Manchester City have been doing it, allegedly.
And if they’ve not been honest about their income and expenditure, it means they have been given a huge advantage over clubs that have abided by the rules.
There is a suggestion Manchester City could be kicked out of the league.
Well, that would be a start, if they’re guilty. But don’t hold your breath.
CLEAR OFF
Because no matter how seriously the authorities say they take Financial Fair Play, the truth is that the big clubs always seem to get away with it.
Already, Manchester City’s bosses are marshalling a whole army of expensive lawyers.
They say they will fight the Premier League every step of the way.
These legal battles could go on for years and years.
They will probably still be in court when Alf-Inge Haaland is collecting his free bus pass.
In the meantime, City will carry on just the way they’ve always carried on.
This, surely, is wrong. If City disagree with the Premier League’s rules, they are perfectly at liberty to clear off out of the league.
But while in it, they must abide.
That means, at the least, a complete embargo on transfers until this business is sorted out.
That should concentrate the minds a little at the Etihad Stadium.
I don’t say any of this because I hate Manchester City.
I mean, obviously I do hate Manchester City, but no more than I hate, say, Arsenal or Leeds United.
I’m a Millwall fan. We hate everyone.
No, I say it because for too long now, under the league’s rules, teams that do the right thing are penalised, and somehow the big guns always wriggle out of accusations of rule-breaking.
Which makes a mockery of the whole thing.
The Premier League should act tough with City.
No spending at all until the charges are heard in court, which they will be.
And if the verdict is guilty as charged? Out of the league.
Well done, Your Worship
ATTENDANCES at Church of England services continue to plummet.
More and more people who would call themselves Christian find the Church of England an utter irrelevance.
But at last the bishops are doing something about it.
Yes, they are reviewing the Bible for its gender-biased language.
Well done, Your Worship.
That’ll bring them flooding back.
AID BY ENEMY
THE footage of those earthquakes on the Syria/Turkey border is heart-breaking.
As if that area hasn’t been through enough turmoil and misery . . .
Israel has so far dispatched 380 men from the Israel Defense Forces to help after the Turkey/Syria earthquakeCredit: Reuters
The first country to respond to the disaster, by sending hundreds of expert helpers?
Israel, which has so far dispatched 380 men from the Israel Defense Forces.
Never mind that the Turkish government hates Israel, and Syria is still at war with it.
DID POLLY HIT A NERVE BY WADING INTO WATERS?
POLLY SAMSON, the wife of Pink Floyd star David Gilmour, has tweeted her observations on the band’s former member Roger Waters.
She said: “You are anti-Semitic to your rotten core.
Dave Gilmour’s wife Polly Samson has tweeted her observations on the band’s former member Roger WatersCredit: Getty
Polly said of Roger: ‘You are anti-Semitic to your rotten core’Credit: Getty
“Also a Putin apologist and a lying, thieving, hypocritical, tax-avoiding, lip-synching,misogynistic, sick-with-envy, megalomaniac.
“Enough of your nonsense.”
Mr Waters, of course, begs to differ and denies all charges.
Maybe Polly hit a nerve. Incidentally, with the possible exceptions of U2 and Coldplay, has there ever been a more overrated band in the history of rock music than Pink Floyd?
WELSH SHOW SENSE
HUGE respect to the Welsh rugby fans.
Their team may be utterly useless, but the supporters did their country proud.
The Welsh Rugby Union has banned the song Delilah but Tom Jones is going to sing itCredit: WNS
The Welsh Rugby Union people banned the song Delilah.
Because it is about a bloke who kills his lover. Can’t have songs about that.
But the Welsh fans belted it out in a magnificent show of defiance.
And now Tom Jones is going to sing Delilah for the first time in 20 years at a show in Wales.
That’s the way to treat these stupid, po-faced author-ities. Iechyd da!
Rishi’s reshuffle
THEY have been moving the deck-chairs around on the Titanic again.
This is Rishi Sunak’s Cabinet reshuffle.
OK, I like the idea of Michelle Donelan heading a beefed-up Science and Technology department.
It’s good to see the excellent Kemi Bad-enoch promoted.
But for as long as Jeremy Hunt is the Chancellor of the Exchequer, the Tories are going to lose the next election.
Heavily.
SAM IS RECIPE FOR JOY
APPARENTLY, 42 per cent of us can’t remember the last time we laughed.
What a depressing statistic. I have no such problem.
Sam Smith’s latest music video made Rod laughCredit: YOUTUBE
I laughed like a drain when I saw Sam Smith’s last video.
I also laughed when I saw a gobby, annoying child in a restaurant fall over flat on his face.
And I laugh every time Nicola Sturgeon opens her mouth.
It may be a dry, bitter, mirthless cackle – but it’s still a laugh, isn’t it?
We all need to rediscover the joy of revelling in other people’s misfortunes.
Put the smile back on to the face of Great Britain.
ACTION IF IZZY WINS
HEROINE of the week is South London mum Izzy Montague.
She is suing the school attended by her young son because she claims they forced him to go on a LGBT march.
The kid was FOUR YEARS OLD.
The headteacher of Heavers Farm Primary also banned Izzy from visiting the school, saying that the staff did not feel safe when she was there.
Scores of parents objected to their kids being taken on the march, incidentally.
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That’s because they think children not much older than toddlers were being force-fed propaganda.
If Izzy wins her battle, the head of the school should be sacked. More
