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      Gunners edge out Pep Guardiola’s troops in combined Man City-Arsenal XI based on Dream Team points

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      A FIXTURE as decisive as Manchester City v Arsenal will inevitably prompt a torrent of combined XIs from every media outlet imaginable.And if you assume we’re going to give it a miss just because the market is over saturated then think again!
      You see, we have the luxury of forging a hypothetical hybrid of the two title contenders based entirely on Dream Team points achieved this season.
      No biased opinions, no fluffy subjectivity, just pure performance.
      GOALKEEPER: Ederson (£5m)
      Good with his hands, better with his feetCredit: GETTY
      Aaron Ramsdale’s tally of 84 points is 19 shy of the Brazilian’s at this stage and with City still active in the Champions League, it’s hard to see the the north Londoner making up the difference before the season’s end.
      The England international has kept 12 clean sheets in the Premier League compared to Ederson’s ten but Arsenal have conceded six more goals in the competition.
      Furthermore, Ederson has only incurred minus eight points from goals conceded this season while Ramsdale has seen 15 of his chalked off.
      DEFENDERS: Ben White (£4.7m), Ruben Dias (£6.4m), Gabriel (£3.6m)
      The Englishman leads the way in this department with 138 points, the fourth-best total among assets in his position.
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      White may not have much of an interest in football but he’s undeniably good at it and in recent weeks fans have seen evidence of an improved end product in an attacking sense – he’s provided three assists and a goal of his own in his last five matches.
      White has been in good form of lateCredit: GETTY
      Man City’s imperious Portuguese centre-back missed eleven games through injury during the middle section of the campaign but still he’s amassed 122 points, 85 of which have come from clean sheets.
      Guardiola’s side looked considerably more vulnerable at the back when Dias was absent and his return to the starting line-up (in great form too) has given City an almost invincible aura in recent weeks.
      Gabriel completes the back three having mustered 130 points almost through sheer omnipresence alone.
      The Brazilian has contributed to 16 clean sheets in all competitions and has 25 points from goals and Star Man awards – a noble effort.
      Nathan Ake (£4.8m) misses out as his total of 113 points is bettered by certain midfielders and forwards, forcing our hand in terms of formation.
      MIDFIELDERS: Bukayo Saka (£5.4m), Kevin De Bruyne (£8.1m), Martin Odegaard (£4.1m), Riyad Mahrez (£5.9m)
      In Arsenal’s homegrown hero and City’s brilliant Belgian we have two of the top three midfielders in Dream Team this season.
      Saka has plundered 181 points while De Bruyne is the only man in his position other than Bruno Fernandes (£6.7m) to have celebrated a double century (212).
      A king among midfielders
      Incredibly, Man City have six midfielders in the top 12 so full credit to the Gunners’ captain for levelling out what could have been an imbalanced playing field in this exercise.
      Odegaard has 12 goals, seven assists and six Star Man awards this season, making up the bulk of his 156-point total.
      Mahrez makes the cut by virtue of his well-timed hat-trick against Sheffield United in the FA Cup, an endeavour that earned him 28 points which was enough for him to overtake Phil Foden (£5.1m) in the rankings.
      Traditionally, a 3-4-3 formation would feature wing-backs with defensive qualities out wide but since this is the realm of Dream Team, we have no need for realistic balance and can indulge in this talented attacking quartet.
      FORWARDS: Gabriel Martinelli (£4.8m), Gabriel Jesus (£5.7m), Erling Haaland (£9.9m)
      The presence of Mikel Arteta’s two Brazilian forwards means our XI actually has more Arsenal players than City representatives!
      Martinelli has scored 15 league goals this season, only four players have more, and he’s been a brilliant value-for-money asset throughout the campaign.
      Double troubleCredit: GETTY
      With 174 points to his name, he’s close to leapfrogging Ivan Toney (£6.1m) to become Dream Team’s fifth-best forward of 2022/23.
      As for Jesus, he’s included because he’s managed to produce more points (119) than the aforementioned Ake despite the fact he missed three months of the season after picking up an injury at the World Cup.
      The 26-year-old averages a goal involvement every 97.6 minutes in the Premier League when available this season – he’s notched 31 points in his last four outings.
      Last but by no means least, it’s Dream Team’s outright best player by a gargantuan margin, Man City’s clinical No9.
      You know the numbers by now: Haaland has 48 goals (and counting) to his name this season – he’s bagged six hat-tricks for crying out loud!
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      The Norwegian poacher is on course for 450+ Dream Team points and Cristiano Ronaldo’s all-time record of 477 is under serious threat.
      Here’s the XI in full as presented via the medium of classic Football Manager graphics…
      Forget realistic balance and just admire itCredit: SHAREMYTACTICS More

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      ‘Alright John I’m bored of it’ – Watch Laura Woods brutally HANG UP on caller leaving Ally McCoist in stitches

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      LAURA WOODS left Ally McCoist in stitches as she brutally hung up on a confident caller talking about the talent of Manchester City. The talkSPORT host and Arsenal fan spoke to a man named John ahead of the potential title-deciding clash tonight.
      Laura Woods cut off a phone on the talkSPORT Breakfast ShowCredit: talkSPORT
      Ally McCoist was left in hystericsCredit: talkSPORT
      City welcome the Gunners to the Emirates as both sides have the chance to put their fate in their own hands with a win.
      Previewing the game, Woods admitted she was nervous and worried as centre-back William Saliba is out injured.
      Man City fan John phoned in and began to taunt Woods, full of belief that his side will win tonight.
      He said: “How are you going to stop the striking Viking, the cyborg, Erling Haaland? How are you stopping him?”
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      Woods responded: “I would have been a little more confident if Saliba was there, but I’m a little bit worried about it, but he can be stopped. There are teams this season that have stopped you.”
      John was having none of it: “He’ll knock the Arsenal players over like skittles and be flying in on goal.”
      The radio host jumped back in as McCoist started laughing: “John… John… John, remember when you played Tottenham and it was Cristian Romero, Eric Dier and Ben Davies at the back?
      “Haaland couldn’t score in that game and you lost 1-0.
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      “There are ways of beating Man City. I’m just saying, John, a bit of humbleness goes a long way.”
      The caller and McCoist then began chatting about how the “bundle of creativity” that Pep Guardiola’s side have will be too much for Arsenal.
      They continued their conversation, moving onto the old days and City legend Colin Bell.
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      It caused Woods to put a stop to the chat, hanging up the phone and saying: “Alright, John, I’m bored of it. Sorry, I couldn’t get in.
      “As soon as we went back to the dark ages  I thought ‘I’ve got to get in here, we’ve got to move on’, [producer Sam] has been in here for ages ready to do his section.”
      The talkSPORT employee then giggled: “I’m scared now that if I bore you, Laura, you’ll just interrupt me and throw me to one side.”
      Man City face Arsenal in a potential title-deciderCredit: Getty More

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      ‘Can’t say what I want to say’ – Jamie Vardy makes cryptic comment to avoid ‘getting done’ on live TV

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      JAMIE VARDY says he would “probably get done” if he shared his true thoughts on Leicester City’s season.The Foxes are in a relegation dogfight after a major struggle this term.
      Jamie Vardy rescued a point for Leicester City at LeedsCredit: Reuters
      That led to Brendan Rodgers losing his job earlier this month and Dean Smith coming in to replace him.
      Vardy, 36, ended his five-month goal drought last night as he fifth of the campaign earned Leicester a precious point with a 1-1 draw at rivals Leeds United.
      The ex-England star, who was largely left on the bench by Rodgers, came on as substitute in place of Patson Daka for the final 20 minutes at Elland Road to rescue his side.
      And speaking to BT Sport after ending his barren run, 2016 Premier League and 2021 FA Cup winner Vardy said: “I mean, I probably can’t say what I want to say, because I’d probably get done for saying it one TV, but it’s been a weird season for myself. 
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      “I’ve got it now, so hopefully in this little run until the end of the season, they can keep coming.”
      That was goal 135 in the Premier League for the veteran – and the man who set him up says he had no doubt that the veteran would finish it off.
      James Maddison said: “He’ll always score goals, no matter what age he is. He was born to score goals. 
      “After my touch, when I looked and saw him finishing off, I felt calm.”
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      Leicester now have five matches remaining and sit a point above the drop zone.
      And Maddison added that big characters like Vardy are needed to beat relegation.
      He said: “It’s our responsibility as big players to take that responsibility and produce for our club, our fans.” More

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      Aston Villa’s XI the last time they were in Europe when a team including Heskey, Young and Agbonlahor threw away lead

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      UNAI EMERY has got Aston Villa fans dreaming of Europe again.The 51-year-old Spaniard has performed a stunning job since replacing Steven Gerrard in the Villa Park dug-out in October.
      Aston Villa boss Unai Emery has fans dreaming of EuropeCredit: PA
      Gabriel Agbonlahor was on the scoresheet in their last European outingCredit: Reuters
      Last night’s 1-0 victory over Fulham stretched their unbeaten Premier League run to ten and lifted the Villans above Tottenham into fifth.
      Emery is now closing in on bringing European football back to Villa for the first time in 13 years with the manager already looking for reinforcements to bolster his squad.
      While an adventure on the continent may be something new for the younger Villa supporters, it was a regular occurrence for those longer in the tooth.
      And those in the older generation will still look back fondly on the club’s remarkable 1982 European Cup triumph, which also saw them go on to lift the Uefa Super Cup that summer.
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      Peter Withe scored the only goal of the game as they defeated Bayern Munich in Rotterdam under Tony Barton.
      They went on to feature six times in European competition during the 1990s, with their best performance coming in the 1997/98 campaign when they reached the quarter-finals of the Uefa Cup when they were beaten by Atletico Madrid via penalties.
      Two Uefa Cup appearances followed in the 2000s but they went on to suffer play-off disappointment two years on the spin from 2010 in the Europa League as they failed to take the final step into the competition proper.
      Their last outing was a 3-2 home loss to Rapid Vienna at Villa Park, which meant they were eliminated in the play-off stage again courtesy of a 4-3 aggregate scoreline.
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      The Villa team that night included several big-hitters, with some still playing now and others who have gone on to become managers and pundits after hanging up their boots.
      American Brad Guzan, now at Atlanta United in his homeland, was in goal for Kevin MacDonald’s side that night.
      Frenchman Habib Frederic Beye, now manager of Championnat National club Red Star in Paris, was right wing-back.
      Current Derby County ace Curtis Davies, retired Carlos Cuellar and James Collins, joined him in defence with Ashley Young, now back at Villa after stints at Manchester United and Inter Milan, down the left.
      A midfield trio of Nigel Reo-Coker, a pundit for CBS Sports, Stiliyan Petrov, who was playing for a Sunday League team less than 18 months after his retirement due to his acute lymphoblastic leukaemia, and Stephen Ireland, without a club since leaving Bolton in 2018, made up the midfield trio.
      And former England internationals Gabriel Agbonlahor, who now stars on TalkSport, and Emile Heskey, now head of football development of Leicester City Women, were up front and they both got on the scoresheet.
      But late goals from Rapid’s Mario Sonnleitner and Rene Gartler dumped them out and left them heartbroken.
      Now it is the likes of Olli Watkins dreaming of banging in the goals for Villa next season in Europe. More

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      Inside the mad away end at Luton Town where fans access terraces through BACK GARDEN as club face £10million bill

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      LUTON TOWN’S stadium is one of the most unique in the football league with fans having to walk over GARDENS to get inside.Kenilworth Road was built in 1905 and has been home to the Championship side ever since with a capacity of up to 10,356.
      Kenilworth Road needed to be upgraded if Luton Town gets promotedCredit: Getty
      The work could cost up to £10millionCredit: Getty
      The ground is known for its odd away standCredit: Getty
      Fans have to pass back gardens as they head up to the away standCredit: Twitter
      Luton have made great strides in the last few seasons in the hunt for Premier League football.
      And this season Rob Edward’s are battling for an automatic promotion spot in the Championship.
      The Hatters are currently third in the league, but are four points behind Sheffield United, who also have two games in hand.
      This means if they are promoted this year they will likely have to do it through the play-offs.
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      However, if they are successful the club will be handed an estimated £10million bill to upgrade their long-standing ground so it meets Premier League requirements.
      Club chief executive Gary Sweet revealed that upgrading the stadium would be a “gargantuan task”.
      He told BBC Radio 4’s Today: “It is maybe more of a gargantuan task than building a new stadium.
      “There’s rather a lot of work to do. We’ve got about £8m, maybe £10m of improvements to do which is pretty much rebuilding one stand in less than three months, which is some task.
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      “It’s just really to comply with Premier League’s broadcasting requirements and some facility requirements that are needed.”
      As with any old building, Kenilworth Road has some unusual features.
      One of which is the entrance to the Oak Stand as fans have to access it down a small alleyway.
      This then leads up some stairs which go between residential houses and past their gardens and into the away stand.
      Fans can get nice and cosy in the away end at KenilworthCredit: Twitter More

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      Victor Osimhen set for Premier League transfer as Napoli move for Tammy Abraham but they face unlikely English rival

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      VICTOR OSIMHEN is set for a move to the Premier League this summer.And Napoli have reportedly lined up a replacement in ex-Chelsea star Tammy Abraham.
      Victor Osimhen is set to leave Napoli and prefers a Premier League moveCredit: Rex
      Napoli want Roma’s Tammy Abraham as a replacement but face competition from an English sideCredit: Rex
      But they face interest from an unlikely English rival for the striker.
      Osimhen, 24, has netted 26 goals in a sensational season for Napoli.
      The Nigerian has fired them to the brink of the Serie A title.
      And Tuttomercatoweb claims Osimhen is destined to swap Italy for England in a big-money move this summer.
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      Chelsea are known to be interested as they hunt for a new striker under incoming boss Mauricio Pochettino.
      Manchester United would also like to bring Osimhen to the Premier League.
      The ace has other suitors in Bayern Munich and Paris Saint-Germain.
      But Osimhen would prefer a move to England’s top flight.
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      And it’s reckoned that Napoli have already started making preparations for his departure by putting Roma forward Abraham on their shortlist.
      The 11-time England international has scored 35 goals since leaving London for the Italian capital two years ago.
      But with Jose Mourinho’s future unclear, Abraham could end up moving on this summer.
      He would likely jump at the chance to join Napoli in the defence of their soon-to-be title.
      However, Abraham has an unfancied suitor back home in England.
      It’s believed Aston Villa have thrown their hat in the ring after their impressive rise under Unai Emery.
      The ex-Arsenal boss wants to pair Ollie Watkins with a powerful partner.
      And Abraham, who spent the 2018/19 season on loan at Villa, ticks all the boxes.
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      Emery’s men are currently fifth in the Premier League table.
      And a European finish could boost their chances of convincing Abraham to re-join them. More

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      I’m an ex-Man City star… Pep Guardiola screamed at me for being overweight but my reply shut him up immediately

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      SAMIR NASRI has revealed he put Pep Guardiola in his place after the Manchester City boss screamed at him for being overweight.The Frenchman played for City between 2011-2017 and won the Premier League twice.
      Samir Nasri said Pep Guardiola screamed at him for being overweight quickly after joiningCredit: AFP or licensors
      Guardiola played Nasri just once before loaning him out to SevillaCredit: Rex
      But immediately after Guardiola joined in 2016 he was frozen out and left on loan to Sevilla.
      He made just one appearance under the Spanish boss and has revealed they did not see eye-to-eye from the get-go.
      Nasri told L’Equipe: “I went into it with him from our first meetings.
      “On the first day, he summoned me to his office and asked me: ‘What do you want to do?’
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      “I tell him: ‘It’s up to you to tell me if you’re counting on me.’ He replied: ‘I’m counting on you if you’re really well in the head.’
      “Then I do my first training, everything is going well, he is happy with me.
      “The next day, Pep summons me again and there he yells at me about my weight.
      “He found out because we were weighed every day.
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      “There, I said to him: ‘Reduce your voice, don’t yell at me, I’m not a child, I’m 29 years old.
      “Maybe my holiday was an escape for me, a time to do what I wanted to do because I was coming out of a difficult season [a hamstring injury kept him sidelined for four months in 2015-16] and because in my personal life a lot of things happened.
      “And there, Pep answers me: ‘It’s true, I’m sorry.'”

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      What Alejandro Garnacho told Erik ten Hag with Man Utd set to lose winger to Under-20 World Cup at worst time

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      ALEJANDRO GARNACHO has reportedly handed Erik ten Hag a major blow concerning Manchester United’s bid for a cup double.The Argentina winger, 18, became an integral part of the Red Devils first-team this term before picking up an injury in the 0-0 draw with Southampton on March 12.
      Alejandro Garnacho has delivered a blow to Erik ten Hag and Man UtdCredit: Getty
      He has made 29 appearances and scored four goals so far this term and is now nearing a return to full fitness ahead of the run-in.
      Garnacho’s comeback would provide a huge boost to Ten Hag’s United depleted squad as they look to tie up a top four finish and then lift the FA Cup to go along with their Carabao Cup triumph.
      However, the teen could miss that Wembley showdown with Man City on June 3 at his OWN REQUEST.
      According to Argentinian outlet Doble Amarilla, the starlet has asked Ten Hag to grant him leave in order to represent his country at the Under-20 World Cup.
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      The tournament starts in May in his home country and runs until June 11.
      Garnacho has already been selected in the preliminary squad named by boss Javier Mascherano, who played for both Liverpool and Barcelona.
      And that would rule him out of playing in the FA Cup derby clash.
      The publication claims that Garnacho, who has never been capped at senior level despite several call-ups, has told Ten Hag: “I need to write my story with the Argentine shirt.
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      “I ask you please to let me go.”
      Neither Argentina or United have made any public comment yet on whether the attacker, who is still recovering from his ankle knock, will participate at the showpiece. More