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      Football and sport have the power to enrich our lives.. but nothing is more important than life itself

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      “SOME people believe football is a matter of life and death. I can assure you it is much more important than that.”Those words from the great Bill Shankly have resonated over the years but without wishing to dilute his remarkable legacy, our own health and happiness does mean everything.Dortmund’s ex-West Ham ace Sebastien Haller announced he is cancer freeCredit: GettyWales star David Brooks is back to near his best after Hodgkin lymphomaCredit: GettyIt is, in truth, more important.Former West Ham star Sebastien Haller has just announced he is free from cancer after a long battle and, hopefully, he can continue to excel at the highest level for Borussia Dortmund and Ivory Coast.Just last month, 29-year-old  Haller scored the winner as his country beat Nigeria 2-1 in the  Africa Cup of Nations final.His illness just shows this can happen to kings, princesses, paupers as well as players.READ MORE TOP FOOTBALLIn the last few weeks, our own King and the Princess of Wales have bravely announced they are fighting cancer.Both can be assured the nation is backing them in their battle.They have shown class and composure in dealing with  the worst life  can throw at them and they are not alone. As well as Haller,  Bournemouth and Wales winger David Brooks is proof of what can be done.Now on loan at Southampton, the 26-year-old star has been cancer-free for nearly two years.Most read in FootballBrooks admitted football paled into insignificance when he fought back from stage two Hodgkin lymphoma.When he made his first-team comeback for the Cherries he was cheered to the rafters by both sets of supporters at Aston Villa.Sebastian Haller breaks down and fights back tears as he opens up on battle with testicular tumour at award ceremony Like Haller, Brooks is bouncing back and came on as a second-half sub this week as the Welsh went within a whisker of qualifying for this   summer’s Euros.Proving that cancer can strike  anyone, it even afflicted one of the modern-day greats, Arjen Robben.The flying Dutchman won accolades galore in the game but for the first time in his life football came second when he was diagnosed with testicular cancer, having found a lump.That was 20 years ago.Mercifully, Robben, now 40, survived and went on to enjoy a stellar career at Chelsea, Real Madrid and Bayern Munich, winning the league in all  three countries.At the time of his diagnosis, Robben said: “Football is no longer important.“The most important thing is to be healthy and for your family to  be healthy.”And so say all of us. In the women’s game, former Arsenal star Jen Beattie, 32, overcame breast cancer to enjoy a glittering career, while New Zealand’s 30-year-old Rebekah Stott successfully battled stage 3 Hodgkin lymphoma.But perhaps the most eye-catching has been Colombia’s 19-year-old  sensation Linda Caicedo, who lit up last summer’s World Cup just four years after overcoming ovarian cancer.Arjen Robben is another leading name to recover from cancerRebekah Stott successfully fought stage 3 Hodgkin lymphomaCredit: GettySadly, for every happy ending there is a tragic one and the cruel, early death of West Ham’s own Dylan Tombides is one of the saddest times I will ever experience at the club.Dylan fought to the very end but at the age of just 20, testicular cancer took his life.West Ham have only ever retired two shirts — and Dylan’s is one of them. The No 38 will never be worn.It is a fitting tribute to a wonderful young man, who died almost exactly ten years ago.The other shirt, of course, is No 6 and belongs to the great Bobby Moore.Testicular cancer first struck him two years before he led England to World Cup glory in 1966.Bobby heroically overcame that illness but cancer returned and, in 1993 and aged  just 51, we lost our national treasure.Football and sport have the power to enrich our lives.READ MORE SUN STORIESBut more important than life itself? I don’t think so.As they say, health isn’t everything but without health, everything is nothing. More

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      I was Alex Ferguson’s first Man Utd signing, I’ll never forget how my career ended – they left me like a crisp packet

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      ALAN TONGE still carries the weight of that fateful day when Sir Alex Ferguson shattered his Manchester United dream.A local lad — who was Fergie’s first acquisition when he signed as a schoolboy in January 1987 — received the gut-wrenching news he was not going to be offered a new contract.Tonge was Fergie’s first signingCredit: GettyBut was released after four years at UnitedCredit: GettyIt was the summer of 1991 when a then-19-year-old Tonge reported to the manager’s office at The Cliff, United’s old training HQ, where Ferguson informed him of his decision.And he had to quit playing altogether three years later due to a serious back issue.Tonge, 52, said: “Fergie told me, ‘We’re not going to renew your contract, son’.“I was sick to the stomach and felt like I had taken a punch from a heavyweight boxer.READ MORE ON MAN UTD“I didn’t know how to act — I just remember muttering, ‘Thank you for the opportunity’.”The abrupt end to his time at United left him in emotional turmoil.Tonge, a full-back, admitted: “I felt like I’d let my family down.“I’d avoid people in the village where I lived as I didn’t want to tell them I was no longer at United.Most read in FootballCASINO SPECIAL – BEST CASINO WELCOME OFFERS“I was discarded like an empty crisp packet after four years there.”Yet Tonge went on to rebuild his life, gaining a degree in sports science, a masters in philosophy and a PhD focused on critical times in footballers’ careers.Kobbie Mainoo reacts to getting first senior England call-upAnd he lectures at the University Campus of Football Business, which has different sites in Manchester.He reveals all about his journey from Old Trafford to the higher echelons of education in his book, From Red to Read.Tonge, a lifelong United fan, was a regular in their youth and reserve teams.He was part of a group known as Fergie’s Fledglings, which featured such names as Russell Beardsmore, Derek Brazil and Lee Martin, who all played for the first team.Martin scored the winner in their 1990 FA Cup final replay against Crystal Palace.After the Fledglings came the famed Class of ’92, which boasted Gary Neville, David Beckham and Paul Scholes, to name a talented few.On one occasion, Tonge recalls travelling with the first team to help out.It was then he first encountered Fergie’s infamous ‘hairdryer’.Tonge went on to become a lecturerTonge said: “United were playing Newcastle in the FA Cup at St James’ Park.“It was 0-0 at half-time and he let rip at a number of players, grabbing one who he tried to hang on a peg! When Fergie lost his temper, he really lost it — I was just a young kid and had never witnessed anything like it.”A certain Ryan Giggs was also a year behind him.Tonge said: “Everyone at United knew about this precocious youngster.”But Tonge’s United adventure came to an end after his chat with Ferguson.He said: “At the end of the season we had pipped Manchester City to win the Lancashire League title and Fergie told me I’d done brilliantly.“That was on a Saturday and he called me in three days later to tell me my contract wasn’t being renewed.“I had to take part in an eight-a-side training session with some of the first team after. But I had tears in my eyes and kept giving the ball away, which Paul Ince had a real go at me about.And also commentates on Exeter gamesCredit: Rex“I don’t think that was the correct way to treat a young player who just had his dreams shattered.”A spell at Exeter, under England’s 1966 World Cup hero Alan Ball, saw him win their young player of the year award in 1992-93 season.But when he was forced to quit a year later, he worked in a warehouse and then as a delivery driver.As he navigated the uncertainties of post-pro football life, he realised he was gifted academically, having picked up a number of GCSEs at school and a BTEC while an apprentice at United.That led to his degree, Masters and PhD – as well as deciding to write a book.Tonge said: “Writing it was a cathartic experience. Football is not just about the Premier League.“It is an interesting and unique world – it can be lucrative and exhilarating, but when that is all over, the difficult void to fill can be immense.”He also hopes to shed light on the fact that even today players with mental health issues are still afraid to speak out.Tonge said: “I spoke to 212 ex-footballers for my PhD.“A high percentage, even if they had a mental health issue, preferred to keep it to themselves because they worried that it would count against them in regard to team selection.”A couple of years ago, Tonge, who also covers Exeter’s games in the north for BBC Radio Devon, bumped into Ferguson at an Association of Former Manchester United Players’ dinner.He wasn’t sure whether the Scot would recognise him, but he did.READ MORE SUN STORIES“My son, Sam, was with me and he was a good footballer, to which Fergie said, with a twinkle in his eye, ‘I hope you’re a better player than your dad!’.”Red to Read: The Story of Fergie’s First Fledgling (Pitch Publishing, £19.99) More

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      Richarlison breaks down in tears as he reveals he wanted to quit football and would always Google ‘rubbish about death’

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      RICHARLISON has bravely opened up on his mental health struggles last season.The Brazilian, 26, spoke of how he felt things “fell apart” following the World Cup in Qatar.Richarlison opened up on his mental health battleCredit: ESPNThe forward bravely talked about seeing a psychologistCredit: ESPNRicharlison admitted to Googling “rubbish about death”, before seeking help from a psychologist.Opening up on his experience, he told ESPN: “I’d just played in a World Cup, man, at my peak. I was reaching my limit, you know?”I don’t know, I’m not going to talk about killing myself, but I was in a depression there, and I wanted to give up.”Even I, who seemed to be mentally strong. After the World Cup it seemed like it all fell apartREAD MORE TOTTENHAM NEWS”I think the therapist, like it or not, saved me, saved my life. I only thought rubbish … Even on Google, I only searched for rubbish, I only wanted to see rubbish about death.”The Tottenham star went on to admit that previously he thought that people who sought professional help were “crazy”, before realising this was “nonsense”.He also urged other footballers to seek help if they are struggling, adding: “Today I can say, look for a psychologist, if you need a psychologist, look for one because it’s nice for you to open up like that, for you to be talking to the person.”Today a [psychologist] came to thank me for taking this to the world of football, to the world, outside the pitch too, because it is very important and, whether we like it or not, it saves lives.Most read in FootballIf you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123.”I had this prejudice before, I thought it was nonsense, I thought I was crazy.”In my family, there are people who think that anyone who goes to a psychologist thinks they are crazy, they think they are insane.Tottenham dealt major injury blow with Richarlison to miss FOUR WEEKS including crunch top-four showdown”But I discovered this and thought it was wonderful. The best thing, really the best discovery I’ve ever had in my life.”Richarlison was Brazil’s No9 at the World Cup, and scored an incredible goal against Serbia.He scored three goals at the tournament, but was visibly distraught after the Samba Boys were knocked out by Croatia in the quarter-finals.The former Watford and Everton ace has returned to form with Spurs this season.He has netted 10 Premier League goals in 23 outings, and recently returned from a knee injury.Richarlison was an unused substitute as Brazil beat England at Wembley last Saturday, and again as they drew 3-3 with Spain last night.He has welcomed the Brazilian FA’s decision to appoint a psychologist as part of boss Dorival Junior’s staff.The forward said: “It’s very important for the national team to have a psychologist to help the players. Only we know the pressure we suffer, not just on the pitch but off it. I suffered more even outside.”It’s important to have a psychologist. We know the prejudice that exists when someone says they are looking for help – I myself had it, but I don’t have it anymore.READ MORE SUN STORIES”As a national team player with an active voice, I tell people to seek help because it saved my life. I was already at rock bottom.”The forward is set to be back in action this Saturday, as Spurs host Luton in North London.YOU’RE NOT ALONEEVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
      It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
      It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
      Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
      That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
      The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
      Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
      If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support: More

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      After Richarlison reveals therapy “saved his life”, we speak to the neuroscientist helping team-mate Emerson Royal

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      RICHARLISON’S revelation that working with a psychologist “saved his life” underlined how critical talking about personal problems can be for some players.The Brazil and Tottenham star last week claimed he was “at rock bottom” earlier this season when issues away from the pitch – including a split with his long-term agent – took hold.Richarlison spoke about the help therapy gave him while on Brazil dutyCredit: PAEmerson Royal is known for exploring every marginal gain going to aid performanceCredit: RexTherapy, along with surgery on a nagging groin problem, turned things around and now he faces Spain on Tuesday back firing on all cylinders.The 26-year-old is not alone as a player in seeking advice to gain better mental health to be a happier person and a better player on the pitch.Emerson Royal, a team-mate for both club and country, employs neuroscientist Dr Fabiano de Abreu as an advisor.It is part of the marginal-gains approach to the game of the right-back, who Ange Postecoglou has described as one of his top-three trainers at Spurs.READ MORE IN FOOTBALLDr Abreu, a member of the UK’s Royal Society of Biology, told SunSport: “Players may need psychologists more than ordinary people because of the pressure they are under.“Richarlison did the right thing in speaking out. But, in football, managers and clubs are still a long way behind on this topic.“Football today is more challenging than in Pele’s era. It demands more than just dynamic gameplay and skilled players. “The pressure from management, clubs, fans, and social media is immense. The psychological aspect is different now.Most read in FootballCASINO SPECIAL – BEST CASINO WELCOME OFFERS“Zico, the greatest idol of Flamengo, once told me, ‘I played for pleasure, for love’. “But what about today? With high stakes and demands, with constant scrutiny? I’m a former Tottenham and England star but I’d much rather see Arsenal win the league than Three Lions win Euro 2024“There’s no more freedom, and it affects the brain. Plus today’s game demands higher performance.”Richarlison spoke of the profound effect his work with his psychologist had on him and his joy at seeing the Brazil national team employ one as a result.Dr Abreu’s neuroscience expertise means he provides more than a sounding board for Royal and his other clients, though therapy does play a part.His work considers a player’s genetics, upbringing and other social factors to get a detailed profile of the individual.A new client will undergo a thorough DNA test, an interview to understand the players’ background and upbringing, a comprehensive blood test and, if possible, a neuroimaging test to understand better, quite literally, how their mind works.The data from all this allows Dr Abreu and his team to work out how best to enhance the athlete’s performance and mental health.That could be through adjustments to their diet, habits such as improved sleep, medication if necessary and therapy.It is all to do with a player’s neurotransmitters – the chemicals in the brain and nervous system that transmit signals between nerve cells, which are pivotal for mood, sleep, appetite, learning and motor functions – and keeping them stable.Dr Abreu added: “Emerson is always open to suggestions for doing what’s best for him. “He’s a very easy person to work with and a good athlete. “It’s not easy to stand out in England, it’s the country where we feel the most pressure on players. But he knows how to deal with it. READ MORE SUN STORIES“There’s no doubt that neuroscience and genetics should be considered more in football. “That is if you want to create ‘machines’ like Cristiano Ronaldo, and I can tell you with certainty that Ronaldo has the same thought and uses it for himself.” More

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      Ex-Premier League star in public cry for help as he says ‘my life is slipping out my hands’ over drink and drugs battle

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      EX-PREMIER LEAGUE star Dani Osvaldo has admitted “my life is slipping out of my hands” as he lifted the lid on his battles with drugs, drink and depression.The Italy striker joined Southampton from Roma in a £13million deal in 2013.Dani Osvaldo was Southampton’s club-record signing back in 2013Credit: Action ImagesHe became a rock star and fronted a band after retiring from playingCredit: Instagram daniosvaldobvHis time on the South Coast proved to be controversial as he landed a ban for his part in a touchline fracas against Newcastle and then copped a club suspension for a training-ground clash with teammate Jose Fonte.He managed just three goals in 13 Saints appearances, and was shipped out on loan three times before having his contract terminated in 2015.Osvaldo went on to play for Porto, plus Boca Juniors and Banfield in his native Argentina, before retiring in 2020.The 38-year-old has now revealed how his life has spiralled out of control in a video on Instagram.”It’s hard for me to make this video because I’ve never done anything like this before,” the 14-cap international admitted.”But I think the time has come because I’m quite desperate and I’m not doing well. I don’t know if it’s a cry for help or if I just feel the need to talk about it because I’ve been dealing with a lot of depression for a long time.”This depression made me fall into some addictions – alcohol and drugs. And the truth is that I’m at a point where my life is slipping out of my hands.”I’m undergoing psychiatric treatment and taking medication. I have a very specific illness. Lack of self-esteem, depression. I often fall back into my addictions.Most read in FootballBEST FREE BET SIGN UP OFFERS FOR UK BOOKMAKER”Out of anger I end up self-destructing, and this also affects the people around me. It’s often difficult to get out of this situation and I isolate myself from the people I love. It’s very difficult for me to move on.”I practically live alone, locked up at home. I don’t go out anywhere, I don’t do anything productive with my life and sometimes I don’t even feel like getting out of bed.The Biggest January Flop Signings In Premier League History”Sometimes I don’t even feel like taking a shower. I’ve fallen into very ugly addictions that only make my depression grow more and more.”It has made me distance myself from people who loved me very much, who love me very much, who I also loved and love very much.”And that makes me not want to see my family, not want to share things with my children.”Osvaldo continued: “The anger I feel towards the world and towards many people has to do with me, my illness, my lack of self-esteem, my depression and my bad decisions.”I was an elite footballer. I was a completely different person, full of security, confidence, and I’m a person I don’t recognize.”I still don’t understand how I got here, honestly, but it can happen to anyone. I don’t have a stable job, I’ve spent practically all my savings because, as I have no income, money doesn’t last forever.”But that’s the least of it, because I’ve never been interested in money. I was born poor and I could die poor, and that doesn’t matter to me.”What hurts me most is that I’m getting poorer in my soul and I’ve always been a good friend and a good companion. I wanted to be a good father, although I often didn’t succeed.”READ MORE SUN STORIESOsvaldo won a Serie A title while on loan to Juventus in 2014. He first made his name with Fiorentina, Bologna and Espanyol before moving on to Roma and Saints.He has played alongside pals in Argentine rock band Barrio Viejo since hanging up his boots.The Italian has opened up on his battle with drink and drugsCredit: Instagram daniosvaldobv More

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      Mo Salah’s former team-mate collapses on pitch after ‘heart stopped for more than an hour’ as match is suspended

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      EGYPTIAN football star Ahmed Refaat is in hospital after suffering an apparent cardiac arrest on the pitch.The forward collapsed with two minutes remaining of Modern Future FC’s Egyptian Premier League clash with Ittihad on Monday night.Ahmed Refaat collapsed in Modern Future FC’s clash with Ittihad on Monday nightCredit: X@ISHAQCHEBLIThe forward’s heart stopped for an hourCredit: X@ISHAQCHEBLIThe match was immediately suspended after the severity of Refaat’s condition became clear and he was promptly taken to the hospital.Reefat’s heart stopped for an hour but he’s miraculously managed to survive the ordeal.And the 30-year-old – a former team-mate of Liverpool hitman Mohamed Salah- is currently being monitored in intensive care.A club statement read: “Ahmed Refaat’s heart stopped for more than an hour, despite all resuscitation attempts by the medical staff at Zamzam Hospital near the stadium before his heart rate improved gradually.READ MORE IN FOOTBALL”However, his condition is still medically unstable, which prevents his transfer.”Unless his health condition stabilises, the player will continue to receive treatment and undergo the necessary tests.”The club are following the situation on a momentary basis from the hospital.”And everyone will be updated immediately.Most read in FootballAhmed Refaat is a former team-mate of Liverpool and Egypt international Mo SalahCredit: AFP”We would like to call on the media to respect the player’s personal life as well as his health and ask the Egyptian football fans to pray for Ahmed Refaat to be safe and sound as soon as possible.”Footage of Refaat’s collapse went viral on social media, prompting a slew of well wishes for the Egypt international.Raging Mo Salah in rare outburst as he butts head with World Cup rival as fans say ‘something crazy must have been said’One footie fan wrote on X: “Wishing him a full and speedy recovery.”Another said: “Stay Strong Ahmed Refaat.”One remarked: ” Praying for a full recovery and Prayers to his loved ones, in what has to be a difficult time to start this blessed month.”Another chimed in: “Praying for the health and safety of Future FC winger Ahmed Refaat.”Reefat has seven appearances for Egypt to his name, in which he’s scored two goals and provided one solitary assist. More

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      I’m a porn icon dubbed the ‘Italian Stallion’ – I give my athletics ace son tips on how to beat performance anxiety

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      LEONARDO TANO’S porn-icon parents have helped him get his legs over – as a rising star of hurdles.Dad Rocco – dubbed the “Italian Stallion” – claims he gave the athletic all-rounder the heads-up on “how to fight performance anxiety”.Leonardo Tano is a bright young name in Hungarian sportCredit: Instagram @leonardotanoLeonardo and his brother Lorenzo flank parents Rocco and Rosa at a screening of new Netflix show Supersex at a Berlin film festivalCredit: ReutersDad Rocco, shown at his porn peak, has passed on tips such as self-belief to son LeonardoCredit: FacebookNow Leonardo, 24, is in pole position to exploit his versatile talents – as he has all the mental and physical attributes needed.Sports-wise, the part-time model eagerly plays the field – and the track.The social media influencer rode dirt bikes, was a karting champion and also ran before focusing on his main gift – hurdling.And thanks to some fatherly advice, he takes on all-comers with confidence as one of Hungary’s hottest prospects.Tano Senior, 59, who calls himself a sex addict, and wife Rozsa Tassi, 51, found fame via their screen names of Rocco Siffredi and Rosa Caracciolo.Rocco has appeared in more than 1,300 adult “movies” and features on Netflix show Supersex, which was released on Wednesday.But he is most proud of keeping his son on the straight and narrow in sport.The Daily Star report Rocco as having said: “I taught him how to fight performance anxiety.Most read in Athletics”Leonardo took all of my stubbornness. But in another area he uses his head much more, so to speak.”Tano Junior was a karting whizkid – until he grew too big.Five celebs that could have been professional athletes including mega movie star and a member of the royal familyLuckily, however, his 6ft4ins frame has proved ideal for the hurdles.And his dad loves the dedication Leonardo has shown in recent years, starting when he was a mechanical engineering student. He told Crush Fanzine at the time: “I try to play as many sports as I can. “My principal focus is track and field, which I do six times a week, resting on Sunday.”I would say I am sports addicted, as for me it is an important ingredient to my general health and happiness.”Instagram star Leonardo has branched out from his family’s fameCredit: Rex More

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      I’m homeless, back at AA & staying in my agent’s spare room, says England legend Paul Gascoigne as he opens up on battle

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      TROUBLED footie legend Paul Gascoigne is homeless and back at Alcoholics Anonymous, he has revealed.The 56-year-old, who for decades has battled alcohol addiction and mental health problems, says he’s bunking in a spare rom at his agent’s house.Paul Gascoigne told the High Performance Podcast he is homeless and back at Alcoholics AnonymousCredit: MEN MediaGazza was considered one of the greatest footballers of his generation and was capped 57 times for EnglandCredit: GettyDesperate to get sober, Gazza admits he’s now a “sad drunk” who boozes “indoors” instead of going out.He told Jake Humprey’s High Performance Podcast: “People know Paul Gascoigne but Gazza, no one knows. Even me sometimes.”When I’m really down, that’s when I pick up a drink to cheer myself up.”Considered one of the greatest footballers of his generation, the Gateshead-born midfielder was capped 57 times for England.Read More on Paul GascoigneHis most iconic moment came at Italia ’90 when he cried after being given a yellow minutes before England’s epic World Cup semi-final defeat on penalties to West Germany.But it was following the ex-Newcastle, Spurs, Lazio and Rangers legend’s retirement in 2004 that his life spiralled out of control.He explained: “The drinking side of it was more when I finished playing. I don’t think I let any managers down, or the players or the fans you know.”Gazza’s battle with alcohol has left him jailed or sectioned on numerous occasions over the years.Most read in FootballThese have included drink-driving offences and being drunk and disorderly.He went to rehab for a seventh time for alcohol addiction in 2014, attending a £6,000-a-month clinic in Southampton.Roy Keane told Paul Gascoigne ‘Gazza, stop it’ after England legend taunted Man Utd icon over his ‘wife’At his worst he splashed out £20,000 to have anti-boozing pellets put in his stomach to try and stop drinking.In a 2021 interview he admitted he will “always be an alcoholic”.Gazza’s demons have seen him seek on and off help from Alcoholics Anonymous, which he says he has recently started revisiting.The dad-of-three, who admitted violence towards first wife Sheryl, now lives at agent Katie Davies’s house in Poole, Dorset.He explained: “I called Katie up in November a few years ago crying my eyes out.”What I put myself through and other people, jail and rehab – taking cocaine off toilet seats.”Gascoigne says he now sinks six coffees by 10am and barely watches football as he misses it too much.But it hasn’t all been plain sailing – as cruel neighbours allegedly put gin bottles on Katie’s doorstep to try and tempt Gazza.He added: “I think the time I’ll give in is when I’m in a wooden box.”Apart from that, I’ll keep on fighting on.”It was following the ex-Newcastle, Spurs, Lazio and Rangers legend’s retirement in 2004 that his life spiralled out of control. More