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    Bizarre contract demands revealed, from no space travel to weight clauses and free transfers for Catalan independence

    PLAYERS are valuable commodities.So when they thrash out contracts with the world’s biggest clubs, it’s important to get everything right and nothing’s left to chance.
    Footballers like Lionel Messi reportedly have bizarre clauses written into their contractsCredit: PA
    But there are times when stipulations are put in place by player and club to protect their interests, to let them fulfil their hobbies, or managers just don’t trust them.
    SunSport looks back at the wackiest requested to and by players:Messi business
    Back in February, with Lionel Messi’s future STILL up in the air, talk of what he would look for in his a new contract away from Barcelona began to surface.
    Some of the clauses in his current deal were leaked by El Mundo.
    They included an agreement to learn how to speak Catalan, he must ‘adopt an adequate personal conduct and pace of life’ and not engage in doping, and if Catalonia became its own country he could leave on a free transfer.
    Should Catalonia become its own country, Messi could leave Barcelona for freeCredit: AFP or licensors
    Lew the outdoor adventurer
    When Robert Lewandowski was running down his contract at Borussia Dortmund both Bayern Munich and Real Madrid were jostling for his signature.
    And in leaked documents, Real Madrid’s offer seemed far more lucrative.
    Alongside a £166,000-per-week deal and a £10million signing-on fee were several requests they didn’t want daredevil Lewandowski to do while he was their property.
    Skiing, paragliding, climbing, going on a motorboat and even riding a motorbike were big ‘no-nos’ for Madrid’s hierarchy… so that’s why signed for Bayern instead.
    Robert Lewandowski is still able to continue his outdoor adventures at Bayern MunichCredit: Getty
    Reina toyed with
    When negotiating a contract, it’s important to be 100 per cent clear about what is being stipulated.
    When German forward Giuseppe Reina Reina moved to Arminia Bielefeld in 1996, he demanded the club build him a house for every year of his contract.
    The club accepted.
    However, Reina didn’t specify what size he required.
    And Arminia provided him with a house made of Lego for the next three years.
    Giuseppe Reina in action for Arminia Bielefeld, who only joined under strict circumstances
    Redondo locked out
    Former Real Madrid and AC Milan midfielder Fernando Redondo was excluded from Argentina’s 1998 World Cup squad for a bizarre reason.
    Manager Daniel Passarella had refused to pick homosexuals or players with earrings and long hair.
    Redondo was ‘guilty’ of the latter.
    He said: “I was in great form. But Passarella had particular ideas about discipline and wanted me to have my hair cut.
    “I didn’t see what that had to do with playing football so I said no.”
    Fernando Redondo’s long hair cost him his international career
    Cooking up a treat
    Congolese midfielder Rolf-Christel Guie-Mien moved from Karlsruher to Eintracht Frankfurt in 1999.
    However, he had one simple request: that his new club pay for his wife to have cooking lessons.
    We’re not sure Mrs Guie-Mien took too kindly to this demand.
    Though, she was not available for comment at the time.
    Rolf-Christel Guie-Mien made it very clear to his wife he kitchen skills needed improvement
    Brought down to Earth
    Swede Stefan Schwarz moved to Sunderland in 1999 — but the Wearsiders had one stipulation the former Arsenal man had to adhere to.
    Schwarz was told that any potential flights into space would not be tolerated.
    The Black Cats chief exec John Flicking said at the time: “One of Schwarz’s advisers has, indeed, got one of the places on the commercial flights [into space, due to take place in 2002].
    “And we were worried that he may wish to take Stefan along with him. So we thought we’d better get things tied up now rather than at the time of the flight.”
    In fact, rather than managing to go up, his career ended when Sunderland went down in 2003.
    Stefan Schwarz is presented as a Sunderland player, alongside Peter Reid in 1999
    Razor weighed down
    Former Premier League and England defender Neil Ruddock once admitted to eating 212 steak and kidney pies every year.
    And Crystal Palace were advised Razor did come with some extra baggage when they signed him on a free in 2000.
    Ex-Eagles chairman Simon Jordan wrote in his autobiography: “On approaching West Ham I discovered he was a free transfer, although he did have a weighty salary — which was not the only weighty thing about him.
    “Harry Redknapp, the West Ham manager at the time, told me to put in a weight clause.
    “So I decided to put a 10 per cent penalty on the contract we were proposing to offer him if he was over the recommended weight of 99.8kg, which by the way was still frigging huge.”
    Ruddock’s Palace debut was allegedly delayed because the club couldn’t find a pair of shorts big enough for him.
    Neil Ruddock has never been one of the slimmest footballer

    Driving a Honda
    Japanese legend Keisuke Honda joined Botafogo in January 2020.
    But moving to Brazil’s crime-ridden city of Rio de Janeiro had the midfielder fearing for his safety.
    So he stipulated he would need an ARMOURED VEHICLE as part of the deal.
    More incredibly, Botafogo agreed.
    But his stay in South America did not last long and he has this month joined Portimonense in Portugal.
    Keisuke Honda signed for Brazilian side Botafogo – but only after an unusual request was grantedCredit: AFP or licensors
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    Watches worn by football managers, from Sean Dyche’s Patek Philippe timepiece to Jose Mourinho’s Hublot sponsorship deal

    HOW long left, ref?Football managers are always looking at their watches, gesturing to referees to add injury time on or calling out time wasting.
    Managers like Pep Guardiola love expensive watchesCredit: Rex Features
    But some spend an absolute fortune on their timepieces, after all a watch is the most important accessory to a man’s closet.
    Sean Dyche and Jose Mourinho love to keep track on time with an expensive kettle and hob.
    Let SunSport tell you who has the most expensive…
    Jose Mourinho
    The Spurs boss is an ambassador for Swiss company Hublot and a self-confessed watch fanatic.
    He approves of their Big Bang Unico Bi-retrograde Chrono model, which retails at around £25k.
    Jose Mourinho is sponsored by Swiss watchmaker HublotCredit: Getty – Contributor
    Mourinho has also worn the ‘King Power Mourinho’, made with a sapphire dial and crystals, that costs in the region of £17k.
    Incidentally, the Big Bang is the same watch that Diego Maradona once owned before he passed away.
    Jose Mourinho’s Hublot watch costs £25kCredit: Handout
    Arsene Wenger
    Charity is high on ex-Arsenal boss Arsene’s mind when it comes to what watch he wants wrapped around his wrist.
    He has been known to wear an IWC Aquatimer Chronograph Edition ‘Galapagos Islands.’
    Costing around £8,650, sales from this model are donated to a charity that conserves the Galapagos Island.
    Arsene Wenger favours IWC’s range of expensive watchesCredit: Getty – Contributor
    Arsene Wenger’s IWC Aquatimer watch costs £8,650Credit: Handout
    Sean Dyche
    A firm believer in modesty, the Burnley boss goes all out there with his watch choice.
    Sean favours Patek Philippe’s 5990/1A which would have set him back an astonishing £45k.
    He switches to digital watches for games, just so he can be extra cautious of time, but it’s personally where he is top of the Premier League.
    Sean Dyche owns a £45k Patek Philippe watchCredit: Getty Images – Getty
    Sean Dyche owns the most expensive watch out of all the Premier League’s managersCredit: Handout
    Eddie Howe
    He’s use to modest operations, as former Bournemouth coach he had to manage their Premier League aspirations on a modest budget.
    So is it any wonder he shuns expensive jewellery for a simple and effective Apple watch.
    It would’ve set him back somewhere in the region of £200, which means he’s a frugal spender.
    Eddie Howe likes to keep things simple with an Apple WatchCredit: Reuters
    Eddie Howe would’ve paid around £200 for his Apple WatchCredit: PA
    Antonio Conte
    Inter Milan boss Conte is a man who likes the finer things in life, and has a penchant for a classic timepiece.
    And despite not investing his money in expensive cars, he’s keen on having a quality watch.
    Conte is a classic gent who goes with a Rolex Daytona, which can cost around £10k.
    Antonio Conte owns a classic Rolex Daytona watchCredit: Rex Features
    A Rolex Daytona would’ve cost Antonio Conte £10kCredit: Handout
    Sam Allardyce
    ‘Big Sam’ is a fan of the expensive things in life, he has a fondness for driving luxury Bentleys for one.
    And the former England boss likes to be equally as lavish with what he accessorises with.
    That’s why he’s opted for Hublot’s Big Bang Unico Chronograph, titanium, rose gold skeleton dial number.
    It would cost somewhere in the region of £27,000.
    Sam Allardyce owns a lavish rose gold Hublot watchCredit: EPA
    Sam Allardyce spent £27,000 on his Hublot watchCredit: Handout
    Jurgen Klopp
    Like Wenger, Liverpool’s flamboyant boss goes with Swissmaker IWC’s range of watches.
    He prefers the IWC Pilots Chronograph 377701, a modest choice for a man on a bumper contract at Anfield.
    It retails for around £4,000, and is interestingly also the watch of choice for Jeremy Clarkson.
    Jurgen Klopp favours a more modest IWC range of watchesCredit: Getty Images – Getty
    Jurgen Klopp owns the same watch as Jeremy ClarksonCredit: Handout
    Pep Guardiola
    He’s a fashionista when it comes to his dress sense, but he’s not top of the league when it comes to watches.
    Company man Pep keeps track of time on a £1,900 Cimier QNETCity Automatic, among others from the brand.
    There were only 1,880 made for when the club celebrated the year it was founded back in 2016, so in time its value will soar.
    However, he is mostly seen wearing a £9,000 Rolex Deep Sea Dweller.
    Pep Guardiola has an extensive watch collection and loves a Rolex DeepSea DwellerCredit: Reuters
    Pep Guardiola also wore a Man City themed Cimier watchCredit: Handout
    David Moyes
    ‘Moysie’ is in good company.
    The West Ham boss has the same watch as Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney – a Patek Philippe Annual Calendar Moonphase 5396G worth around £30k.
    It’s his trusted go-to, which he wears almost religiously during every game and he has two of them – in gold and silver!
    Moyes does have an enviable watch collection and also likes Patek Philippe’s Nautilus range as well.
    David Moyes boasts a collection of watches in the Patek Philippe rangeCredit: AFP – Getty
    David Moyes owns both gold and silver Patek Philippe Annual Calendar watchesCredit: Handout
    Mauricio Pochettino
    His watch choice isn’t quite as pragmatic as his team’s style on the pitch.
    The PSG boss loves wearing IWC – like his former crosstown rival Arsene Wenger.

    He has worn, in the past, their Aquatimer Chronograph Edition ‘Expedition Charles Darwin’ watch.
    That would’ve cost him around £8,350, which is chump change for a manager on a huge contract with the French champions.
    Mauricio Pochettino is another IWC fan paying £8,350 for a Expedition Charles Darwin watchCredit: AFP or licensors
    Pep Guardiola admits he has no chance of beating trendy Fulham boss Scot Parker in the fashion stakes More

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    South America faces international fixture backlog of 21 games in just 10 months with risk of club vs country rows

    THE action is taking place all over Europe, but there are no World Cup qualifiers taking place in South America at the moment.A suspension was forced by the coronavirus pandemic, which is especially severe in Brazil.
    International football has been suspended in South America because of the ongoing coronavirus pandemicCredit: AFP
    Chile and Bolivia managed to meet on Friday, and later today (Monday) there is a game between Ecuador and Bolivia – the first friendlies involving South American national teams since November 2019.
    There has been very little international football on this side of the Atlantic. But all that is about to change.
    Last year just four rounds of the marathon World Cup qualification campaign were completed. There is a lot to catch up on – and there is a Copa America scheduled for the middle of the year, at the same time as the Euros.
    At the moment, then, the calendar looks something like this. The next double header of World Cup qualifiers are set for early June, followed by the Copa America, split between Argentina and Colombia.
    Then there are more pairs of World Cup qualifiers in September, October and November, and then in January and March of next year.
    And somewhere in all that, there is the need to cram in the two rounds of qualifiers – including Brazil vs Argentina, – that should have been played at the moment.
    This will not be easy. In Europe some teams are able to cram three games into the Fifa date period. Distances are so vast in South America that this is a logistical headache.
    But working on the assumption that a way will be found to catch up with the fixture backlog, this points to a clear conclusion; there may have been very little international football in South America over the sixteen months, but there is plenty to come.
    South American countries like Uruguay and Brazil face a backlog of fixtures to catch-up on missed World Cup qualifying gamesCredit: Getty
    Inbetween the World Cup qualifiers, the likes of Sergio Aguero and Lionel Messi will be competing for the Copa AmericaCredit: AFP
    Between the start of June and the end of next March, there is a maximum (for the semi finalists of the Copa America) of 21 international games to be played – effectively half the number of a club season.
    That is an extraordinary amount, one which will surely give rise to howls of protest from the European clubs, where most of the big name South Americans make their living.
    The clubs will probably be putting pressure on their players to give the Copa America a miss – especially since the first phase is a huge trial of everyone’s patience.
    The invited teams, Australia and Qatar, have been forced to pull out. So there are ten sides divided into two groups of five, and a grand total of one team per group ends up eliminated.
    There are plenty of potential problems, then, even assuming that the fixtures can be completed. But that, too, may end up being an overly optimistic point of view.
    Australia have already pulled out of the this year’s Copa America due to the coronavirus pandemicCredit: Getty Images – Getty

    The pandemic is currently at its worst moment in Brazil, with over 3000 deaths per day. There are hopes that mass vaccination will help bring the situation under control, but this is likely to take some months.
    The rest of the continent fears infection, and as it stands both Peru and Colombia bar the entry of people and planes from Brazil.
    The administrators of South American football may well have to use all of their improvisational skills to make sure the continent can get through its fixture calendar and finish its World Cup qualification process in time for Qatar.
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    The tragic story of ex-PSG star Jean-Pierre Adams, who has been in a coma for 39 years after a failed knee surgery

    IT was meant to be a routine surgery.A minor knee operation, that would’ve left ex-footballer Jean-Pierre Adams out of action for a few months.
    Former French defender Jean-Pierre Adams underwent knee surgery in 1982, but after an anaesthetist’s error he slipped into a coma before the operationCredit: Getty
    However, a near lethal dose of anaesthetic before the procedure left the former French international in a coma.
    Some 39 years later, the defender is still in a long vegetative state – but will not be given up on by his long-suffering wife, Bernadette.
    THE BLACK ROCK
    Born in Dakar, Senegal in 1948, Adams moved to France aged ten and began his professional football career with Nimes in the 1970s.
    Before that he was hardened in the world of the non-league game, juggling a job working for a local rubber manufacturer, until scouts decided he was worth gambling on.
    Within a few seasons, Adams was a first team regular in the Gard helping his side challenge for the league title.
    Between 1972-73, the Crocodiles finished second in the First Division and reached the Coupe de France semi-finals – in what was a golden era for the club.
    Adams, christened ‘The Black Rock’, earned his first France call-up in 1972 and was sold to OGC Nice ahead of the 1973-74 season.
    The 5ft 10 in centre half would spend four years on the Cote d’Azur and play 144 games for the team.
    Nicknamed ‘The Black Rock’ Adams made his international debut for France in 1972Credit: AFP
    Adams in action in a friendly match against Portugal in 1975Credit: Getty
    DREAM PARTNERSHHIP
    During his career, Adams would earn 22 caps for Les Bleus.
    He was regularly paired with French legend Marius Tresor between 1972-76.
    France’s Romanian manager at the time Stefan Kovacs nicknamed the partnership ‘The Black Guard’, after an impressive display shutting out a strong Poland side.
    However, despite their defensive prowess this French side wasn’t as good going forward.
    It was a period of disenchantment for the national team, who failed to qualify for the European Championships in 1976.
    That year saw Adams’ last appearance for his country – in a friendly against Denmark.
    Adams lines up alongside France legend Marius Tresor, who he formed ‘The Black Guard’ withCredit: Getty
    From 1972-76 Adams played 22 games for his countryCredit: Getty
    A BIG CONTRACT
    At 29, Adams signed his last big contract in football with PSG.
    In two years in the French capital, he appeared 42 times, scoring twice, and cemented his name as one of the most important players in the club’s first decade of existence.
    The plaudits about his ability come from international team-mates, including iconic midfielder Henri Michel.
    Michel described Adams as a ‘force of nature, very strong, full of good will and determination’ to Paris United.
    After a brief spell at Division 2 side Mulhouse, he would end his career with amateurs FC Chalon at 33 playing with Polish striker Josef Klose, the father of German legend Miroslav.
    OPERATION HORROR
    Following a ligament rupture injury, Adams checked into the Édouard Herriot Hospital in Lyon in 1982.
    He was booked in for a routine surgery and expected to leave hospital in the following days.
    PSG fans fondly remember Jean-Pierre Adams during his time with the clubCredit: AFP
    However, it all went tragically wrong when an anaesthetist made a near-fatal error and gave Adams the wrong dose ahead of the op.
    The healthy athlete suffered a bronchospasm, which starved his brain of oxygen.
    Adams fell into a coma that he’s still in today, aged 73.
    In the 1990s, a court ruled that both the anaesthetist and trainee were given one-month suspended sentences, as well as a hefty fine.
    A WIFE’S VIGIL
    Loyal wife Bernadette Adams has remained by her husband’s bedside, caring for his needs.
    Bernadette Adams, pictured with Marius Tresor, hasn’t given up hope for her husbandCredit: Twitter
    Jean-Pierre is unable to communicate and express emotion, but he can still breathe, feel, eat and cough without the aid of medical equipment and lives at home near Nimes.
    “People on Facebook say he should be unplugged… But he is not plugged! I just don’t have the courage to stop giving him food and water,” Bernadette revealed.
    “He has a normal routine. He wakes up at 7, eats… He may be in a vegetative state, but he can hear and sit in a wheelchair.”
    EUTHANASIA
    The suggestion of putting her husband’s suffering to an end is not one Bernadette entertains.
    She is against euthanasia and refuses to give up on Jean-Pierre.
    Tresor admitted he doesn’t have the courage to visit his former team-mate and friendCredit: AFP

    But her stance isn’t one that former defensive partner Tresor agrees with. According to Paris United, Tresor hasn’t found the courage to visit his former team-mate since the awful incident.
    He said: “Even if Jean-Pierre woke up, he would not recognise anybody. So is it worth living like this?
    “If a similar thing happened to me, I told my wife not to keep me here.”
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    Liverpool wonderkid Mateusz Musialowski, 17, is mesmerising Polish winger who scored 133 goals at youth level

    LAST week, 12 academy players got the opportunity to train with Liverpool’s first team in front of Jurgen Klopp.One of those talents was the supremely gifted Polish youth star Mateusz Musialowski, 17, who has been turning heads since arriving on our shores.
    Lightning-quick Mateusz Musialowski, 17, is flying in Liverpool’s youth side since joining last yearCredit: Getty
    A winger who can play across the front three, Musialowski is lightning-quick and has dribbling skills he’s honed by watching countless clips of Lionel Messi running with the ball.
    Both were evidenced with an exceptional goal he recently scored against Newcastle in the U18 Premier League North.
    Newcastle’s defenders were unable to live with Musialowski, as he jinked past four players and hit an unstoppable shot in the corner.
    But he could’ve been turning out for Arsenal’s youth teams, after trialling with the Gunners.
    GUNNERS PIPPED
    Back in August, Liverpool moved fast to secure Musialowski’s signature.
    He had earned a glowing reputation in his homeland, where he starred at UKS SMS Lodz.
    In 88 matches the forward scored a staggering 133 goals, and Europe’s top clubs took note.
    Arsenal were the first British club to declare an interest, and they invited him to Hale End.
    However, their academy coaches were reportedly unsure whether to sign Musialowski, which opened up the door for Liverpool to swoop.
    Liverpool pipped Arsenal to secure Musialowski’s signatureCredit: Getty
    Musialowski arrived in Kirkby back in OctoberCredit: Instagram @mateuszmusialowski
    In Poland Musialowski scored 133 goals in 88 games at youth levelCredit: Instagram @mateuszmusialowski
    FLYING START
    Musialowski hasn’t wasted any time in settling in at Kirkby.
    Already, the flying wideman has seven goals to his name in 16 matches, the pick of the bunch was that mazy run followed by an emphatic finish against the Toon.
    There was an uncanny resemblance to the hero he wants to emulate about that strike.
    “I just ran with the ball,” Musialowski told Liverpool’s official website.
    “When I see the space, I just go for it. I have seen a lot of Lionel Messi goals like that, so I try to be like him and I want to repeat it!”
    Earlier this week, Musialowski followed his wonder goal up with two against Sutton United in a 6-0 rout in the FA Youth Cup.
    Recently, Musialowski scored twice in a FA Youth Cup win over Sutton UnitedCredit: Getty
    INTERNATIONAL BREAK
    With plenty of Liverpool stars away on international duty, some of the Reds promising youngsters have been drafted in to training sessions with the rest of the first team.
    But this isn’t a case of just making up the numbers. There’s a meticulous plan to including Musialowski and eleven others into drills with the likes of Fabinho and Alisson Becker, who reported to the AXA Training Centre after the Brazil World Cup qualifiers were postponed.
    Other first-teamers involved Naby Keita, James Milner, Nat Phillips and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Ben Davies, Curtis Jones, Adrian, Rhys Williams and Neco Williams.
    “We use the time to give a proper impulse to our Academy process,” assistant manager Pep Lijnders said.
    “The best clubs in world football have something in common: a one-club mentality. Being split, you have nothing. That’s why it is so important for this club to be together.”
    Lijnders continued: “Everyone knows we believe in bringing and utilising the power of the youth. Jurgen and myself, we care so much about our talent, the inside pathway.
    Musialowski has seven goals this season in 16 youth gamesCredit: Getty
    This week, Musialowski was included in first team training sessionsCredit: Getty

    “It’s a special situation for such a club to create this week, so many talents together with Millie, Fabinho, Ox, Naby and Shaq.
    “Talent needs models, they need examples much more than criticism. It’s great to see when talent and experience come together.
    “The carrot is mightier than the stick, they say. They need to see our high values, our humbleness at the training ground.”
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    Real Madrid’s biggest transfer flops, as Eden Hazard continues to struggle including Kaka, Jovic and Woodgate

    REAL MADRID are never shy when it comes to spending big.It seems every summer the LaLiga giants make a marquee signing, adding someone who’s normally thought of as one of the world’s best to a squad packed full of internationals.
    Eden Hazard has proven to be a Real Madrid since moving from ChelseaCredit: Reuters
    But, with the pressure of succeeding at one of the most successful clubs in the game and justifying a hefty price tag, sometimes failure follows.
    These blockbuster additions have (as of now in one case) failed to set the Bernabeu alight.
    They are the biggest transfer flops in Real Madrid’s illustrious history…
    EDEN HAZARD
    IT might seem unfair to say it – but it’s now almost two summers since Eden Hazard move to Los Blancos from Chelsea in a deal reportedly worth around £130million.
    Any settling-in period the world class Belgium playmaker may have needed, has surely since passed?
    Hazard’s biggest problem has been his fitness – with complaints about his weight.
    He’s also had plenty of niggling injuries, as well as battled Covid-19.
    But still, the 30-year-old should’ve managed more than four goals in 36 appearances in his time at the club so far.
    Will things get better? It’s hard to imagine they can get any worse.
    Hazard has had injury problems during his time in MadridCredit: Getty
    LUKA JOVIC
    AFTER starring for Eintracht Frankfurt in the Bundesliga and in the Europa League, many were convinced Jovic was the next football superstar.
    The Serbian striker had power and pace, as well as an eye for goal that saw Real pay £54m for his services.
    Something went wrong somewhere though for the 23-year-old.
    With Karim Benzema enjoying a renaissance, as well as favouritism from manager Zinedine Zidane, Jovic found his opportunities in the first team limited.
    And when he did play, that ruthless nature he did have in front of goal seemed to have left him, as well as his confidence.
    After two goals in 32 games, he was loaned back to Frankfurt in January. He’s not quite hit the heights he did previously in Germany.
    Luka Jovic cost Real Madrid £54million, but failed to deliver goalsCredit: Getty – Contributor
    KAKA
    IF ever there was a footballer that belonged on the stage at the Bernabeu, it was Kaka – as graceful a player the world has ever seen.
    For some reason, though, that elegance left him as soon as the former Ballon d’Or winner joined Real from AC Milan for a record-breaking £56m in 2009.
    In truth, the brilliant Brazilian was hindered by injuries. In 2010, he had surgery on a serious knee injury.
    With his mobility affected, the dynamic playmaker didn’t have as much of an influence as he did when he played in Serie A.
    Kaka left after four seasons, scoring 29 goals and providing 32 assists in 120 games across all competitions.
    Kaka didn’t hit the heights he set at AC Milan at the BernabeuCredit: Getty Images – Getty
    DANILO
    IN 2015, Real Madrid added Brazilian full-back Danilo to their ranks.
    The fee they paid Porto for the right-back was a staggering £31million, and they believed he would be the ‘next Dani Alves’.
    He rarely played in his first campaign, and bizarrely EVERY game he did ended in a defeat.
    In his second he scored two comical own goals, including one that saw Real eliminated from the Copa del Rey against Celta Vigo.
    Amazingly, despite his poor showings the club managed to get £26.5million back when they sold him to Manchester City… he flopped there too.
    Danilo was touted as the ‘next Dani Alves’ when Real Madrid splashed £31m on the BrazilianCredit: PA:Empics Sport
    ANTONIO CASSANO
    THE Spanish press were never kind to Italian star Cassano.
    They christened him ‘Gordito’, which translates as ‘little fat one’. And although it’s meant affectionately, the former Roma legend wasn’t well liked in Madrid.
    He was picked on for putting on weight, and there was an extraordinary claim he gained 14 kilos in seven months eating Nutella direct from the jar.
    And when boss Fabio Capello arrived at the club, the £22m signing fell out with his fellow countryman and was duly suspended.
    In two seasons, he played just 29 times and scored four goals.
    Like Hazard, Antonio Cassano was criticised for being overweightCredit: EPA
    JONATHAN WOODGATE
    THE English defender regularly features in polls for worst ever Real Madrid signing.
    And it just got off to the worst possible start for the former Leeds United player.
    Signed for £13m from Newcastle in 2004, Woodgate was on the sidelines for his entire first season.
    He finally made his debut a year later against Athletic Bilbao, and it couldn’t have been worse.
    Aside from a comical own goal, Woodgate was then sent off for two bookable offences.
    In 2006, Woodgate returned to England on loan at Middlesbrough. That deal was made permanent a year later.
    Jonathan Woodgate had the worst debut of a Real Madrid new signing, scoring an own goal and getting sent offCredit: Reuters

    WESLEY SNEIJDER
    ANOTHER huge talent, Sneijder would have a big hand in helping his country reach a World Cup final in 2010 later in his career.
    But, before that, there were his lost years in Madrid from 2004-2006.
    A £27m signing from Ajax, Sneijder was one of three Dutchman who joined the club that summer, along with Royston Drenthe and Arjen Robben.
    However, he didn’t pose as much swagger as he did in his early years at Ajax.
    After a disappointing second season, Sneijder was sold to Inter Milan, where he would win the Champions League.
    Wesley Sneijder was a world beater everywhere but Real MadridCredit: Action Images
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    Chelsea star Reece and Man Utd’s Lauren James become first brother and sister to play for England and are ‘living dream’

    IN the case of the James clan, it’s very much about keeping it in the family.Last year, Reece and Lauren James made history when they became the first brother and sister to play for England.
    Reece and Lauren James have become professional footballers with the help of dad NigelCredit: Instagram / @rjames
    Lauren James followed in her brother’s footsteps when she was selected for EnglandCredit: Getty
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    It’s astounding that two talented footballers of the men’s and women’s game are even playing professionally, not to mention pulling on a Three Lions shirt and representing their country.
    But the London-born pair are living the dream. Part of their success is due to their incredible father, Nigel.
    A motorbike accident halted his promising career, after spells at Luton Town and Southampton.
    Nigel found his true calling through mentoring youngsters and later set up Nigel James Elite Coaching programme.
    It’s testament to him, his son and his daughter would eventually become pros.
    PARKLIFE
    Reece, 21, and Lauren, 19, grew up in London with football an ongoing backdrop in their lives.
    As well as a father with footballing aspirations, their elder brother Joshua was on the books of Fulham and Reading. Their mother Emma worked admirably for the NHS.
    If the three siblings weren’t kicking a ball against a wall, they would be down the park honing their skills.
    Often, their dad who would pass on his knowledge and put the three through training drills and exercises.
    Lauren and Reece have always shared a tight bond together
    The siblings grew up in London with football as their backdrop
    Dad Nigel coached Reece, Lauren and their brother Joshua in the local park
    “We grew up as a three,” Reece of Chelsea proudly told the Blues official website.
    “Obviously, Josh learned from my dad and then it just passed its way down. I started playing because my brother played, and my sister played because I played.
    “We all used to play every day together at the park and over time we all gradually got better. There was a field behind my house, with two pitches, and every day I’d be playing football, either in the field or in the street.”
    Lauren, a striker for Manchester United, echoes the sentiment that the beautiful game dominated their lives.
    “All I ever knew was football, football and football,” she told The Telegraph.
    “My brothers got me into football. Whether it was when Josh was at Fulham or when Reece was at the Chelsea academy, I was there kicking the ball against the fence.
    “I’ve always had a football and it has just taken me to where I am now.”
    PATHWAY TO SUCCESS
    Reece was an early bloomer when it came to his footballing talent.
    By the age of six he joined Chelsea’s impressive development academy, where he progressed through the ranks.
    James joined Chelsea’s youth set-up aged six
    James progressed through Chelsea’s youth teams and won a FA Youth CupCredit: Getty – Contributor
    However, it took him some time to find his best position. He started off as a striker, moved into midfield and then had to learn the art of defending.
    Once he cemented the right-back as his own, there was no stopping him. In the 2017-18 season, he appeared for England at U18, U19 and U20 level.
    A loan at Wigan Athletic the following campaign saw Reece named as their Player of the Year.
    Once he made his debut against Grimsby in the EFL Cup in 2019, scoring one and assisting two, he could no longer be ignored for a first team spot.
    Lauren might be slightly younger than Reece, but her achievements are just as impressive.
    At 13 she joined Arsenal, and because of her experience with playing with her brothers was encouraged to train with the boys’ team.
    Two years later, the prolific forward made her first team debut for the Gunners women’s team – beating Reece to the punch there.
    She created history in the process becoming the youngest player in Arsenal’s history male or female to make their bow for the club.
    In 2017, she moved to the newly reformed Manchester United women’s team to take on a new challenge in a city she never knew.
    In 2017, Lauren James joined Manchester United’s newly formed women’s teamCredit: Getty
    Since joining the Red Devils, James has thrived scoring 27 goals in 54 gamesCredit: Getty
    But that didn’t deter the brave teen, who scored 14 goals in 18 league games as the Red Devils won promotion from the Championship at the first time of asking to the Women’s Super League.
    BATTLING RACISM TOGETHER
    As is a sad indictment of our times, both Reece and Lauren have been targeted with online racist abuse.
    They are united in their efforts to encourage social media companies to do more with their platforms in stopping racism.
    “When we both get messages like that, we turn to each other and discuss it,” Reece said.
    “I think everyone agrees and knows that what’s happening with social media and racism is wrong. Everyone says they want to change, but not many things are changing.”
    MUTUAL RESPECT
    Although they share a competitive nature on the pitch, Reece and Lauren only have a mutual respect for each other’s achievements.
    But Lauren knew she had to emulate her brother by following his footsteps into the England squad.
    “We are not usually competitive,” she revealed.
    “When he got his senior England call-up, it was like, “Right, he got his, I’ve got to get mine now. That’s probably the only time and I laugh about it now.”
    Reece earned his first cap against Wales last October, while a month later Lauren received a senior national team call-up as part of a 29-player training camp at St George’s Park.
    Despite their careers mirroring one another, Reece is adamant they can’t be compared.
    Reece James has become a regular in the England squad since his first call-up last OctoberCredit: Marc Aspland – The Times
    His sister Lauren James celebrated an England call-up last NovemberCredit: Getty

    “I wouldn’t say there’s competition,” he said.
    “You know, she is my sister. Our games are the same, our professions are the same, but it’s still different. I play men’s football when she plays women’s football, you can’t compare them.”
    No. But you can applaud their success. They are, after all, living the dream.
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    Under-fire Newcastle boss Steve Bruce wrote three crime thriller books that became cult classics worth £200 on eBay

    UNCOMPROMISING centre half, Manchester United legend and hard-nosed manager are normally phrases used to best describe Steve Bruce.But the under-fire Newcastle United manager is also a canny and prolific writer, penning three crime thriller books published between 1999 and 2000.
    In 1999, Newcastle United boss Steve Bruce flirted with the idea of becoming a writerCredit: PA:Press Association
    Bruce was managing Huddersfield Town, when he wrote the epic trilogy Striker! Sweeper! and Defender!
    The books, which Bruce himself called “A laughing stock”, are semi-autobiographical – the lead character is called Steve Barnes.
    And the plots and the literature itself may be laughable too.
    However, somehow they’ve become cult classics that have fetched up to £200 on eBay and Amazon, if you can find the rarities that is.
    The first novel, originally costing £12, was the 127-page Striker!
    Written in the first person, it puts you straight into the action of Barnes, manager of the fictitious Leddersford Town – a small, historic club aiming for Premier League promotion.
    Manchester United legend Bruce made the decision after hanging up his boots in 1998Credit: Getty Images – Getty

    It opens with Barnes finding young Irish striker Pat Duffy stabbed to death in the dressing room.
    The front cover depicts this scene beautifully, except for the fact that Duffy looks like a giant super-imposed on a football pitch.
    Suspected of murder, Barnes has to clear his name – so he inexplicably decides to launch his own investigation, somehow while juggling a football career.
    He’s faced with Irish mobsters, and also becomes a target for a sniper in the stands while managing his side in a top-of-the-table clash against Fulham in the book’s finale, neatly wrapped in four pages.
    Steve Bruce’s first novel was Striker!, written 20 years ago
    Weirdly, Bruce loves mentioning facts about Barnes’ car all the way through the story, even when he’s on a discreet follow.
    “I drive a Jaguar XJ8, 3.2, the sports version,” he writes.
    “It’s a very nice motor; 3.2 litre AJ-V8 all alloy engine. Classic colour interior theme, fluted leather seats, contrast colour keyed facia, figured walnut veneer.
    “As good a motor as you can hope to drive.
    “But not a car you’d choose when trying to follow a Ford saloon in a discreet manner…my registration, license and all other statutory details are fully up to date.”
    In the same year, Bruce also published Sweeper!Credit: Paragon Press Publishing
    Later, he writes: “I locked the car with central locking. The XJ8 has a full security system with ultrasonic intrusion sensing, radio frequency remote control, and engine immobiliser.
    “All necessary: this is a desirable motor.”
    The thriller has become an unlikely classic on Amazon.
    One tongue-in-cheek reviewer wrote: “This is a book so bad it is good, dare I say great. It’s bursting out its bindings with moral truths.”
    Another said: “That Bruce has spent so much of his life on the football pitch and not behind his typewriter should be a tragedy for literature.”
    The follow-up was Sweeper! – a tale that takes us through a web of intrigue featuring Yugoslavian warlords, lesbian prostitutes, Nazi-hunting spies and more.
    Defender! was published by Steve Bruce in March 2000
    Again, the murder plot centres around Leddersford Town, who must be the unluckiest club in the football world.
    One Amazon reviewer wrote of Sweeper!: “One cannot do justice to how effective and gripping Bruce’s writing style is.
    “He is truly a modern day Arthur Conan Doyle. Wow!”
    Their beloved groundsman, Sam Milton is murdered, so Barnes (again) takes it upon himself to solve the crime.
    More bizarre set plays follow, including a moment where Barnes is kidnapped by British Secret Service agents who ask him to go undercover.
    He refuses, saying that his country never wanted him and that he didn’t get international caps so he wouldn’t be suitable for the role.
    Of course, Bruce himself is one of the most decorated players to never get an England cap.
    Bruce’s books were all semi-autobiographicalCredit: PA:Press Association
    Despite a career littered with honours, Bruce never won a cap for EnglandCredit: News Group Newspapers Ltd
    Proving Barnes has still got it, he manages to take out a villain with a trusted slide tackle in Sweeper!
    The last book of the trilogy was Defender! again featuring Steve Barnes.
    Its only review on Amazon states: “Does for the English language what the Luftwaffe did to Coventry.”
    Derry-born writer Seamas O’Reilly, a self-confessed Bruce literary expert, heralded the series of books.
    He published a review of Striker! in 2015, and by the end of the year a copy was listed on eBay for £200.
    “I loved it. There was just so much mad stuff,” he told the BBC about reading Striker!
    “The book is filled with kidnappings, betrayal and suspense.
    “Near the finish, a sniper shoots a football out from under the foot of Steve Barnes as he’s standing in the technical area at the end of a game.”
    The trilogy of rare books have been known to fetch up to £200 on eBay and AmazonCredit: PA:Empics Sport
    In 1999, Bruce published three murder/mystery novelsCredit: Getty Images – Getty
    Seamas called Sweeper! the “Magnus opus” but Defender! was “disappointing” and “incident-free.”
    “There are so many strange decisions made in the writing of these books, such as the way the world is constructed,” he continued.
    “So, for instance, there’s fake names that stand in for real places, like Leddersford for Huddersfield and Mulcaster for Manchester.
    “But, he also talks about Manchester United and mentions Alex Ferguson.
    “It’s like reading a Batman comic where he takes a train from Gotham to New York.”

    But Bruce has admitted he won’t be returning to writing anytime soonCredit: Reuters
    By the way @DFletcherSport cant keep it going any longer…. the old man did write the books 📚 great sleeping tablet!!!— Alex Bruce (@AlexBruce84) October 22, 2016

    Bruce actually called the novels “A laughing stock” and is concentrating on management nowCredit: Getty – Contributor
    At first, Bruce’s son Alex denied that his father had written them.
    However, he made a dramatic confession on Twitter later to BT Sport commentator Darren Fletcher.
    And back in 2016, when managing Aston Villa, Bruce revealed the books were absolutely genuine.
    “Have you read them?” he replied when asked by Sky Sports if there were anymore in the pipeline.
    “Go and read them and you’ll understand why.”
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