Fantasy Football

IMAGINE getting up early with a burning hangover to play university football and you’re directly up against Kaoru Mitoma (£2.3m).That was almost certainly the brutal reality for at least a couple of students as recently as 2019, when the Japan international was studying at the University of Tsukuba having turned down a professional contract with Kawasaki Frontale.
The 25-year-old did eventually sign with the top-flight club and enjoyed two prosperous seasons before being snapped up Brighton, arguably the Premier League’s smartest recruiters.
He spent last season on loan at Royal Union Saint-Gilloise, scoring eight goals and providing four assists for the Belgian club.
And now, quicker than expected, he’s become a regular starter for the Seagulls and a key player too.
Yet another success story for Brighton’s recruitment teamCredit: getty
Leandro Trossard’s (£4.3m) dispute with Roberto De Zerbi worked in Mitoma’s favour but the quick-footed winger has worked his way up the pecking order through a series of impressive performances.
He’s scored five goals and provided two assists in his last ten games at club level and has captivated fans with his enterprising dribbling and electric acceleration.
Mitoma actually wrote a thesis on dribbling as a university student, an act that taught him to keep his head up whenever possible, but it’s clear he was born with the necessary tools to become an elite athlete, attributes that can’t be learned from a book.
Sixth-placed Brighton have only tasted defeat once since the restart and that an entertaining 4-2 loss to table-toppers Arsenal.
This weekend, they drew 2-2 at Leicester and it was Mitoma who opened the scoring with a pinpoint curling effort from the edge of the box.
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And from a Dream Team perspective it was a particularly profitable excursion because he also swooped the Star Man award to bank 13 points, his joint-best single-game haul so far.
Mitoma has gotten the best of several right-back this season
Mitoma has now produced 60 points across the last eight Game Weeks.
At just £2.3m he’s the latest Brighton midfielder to off superb value for money in the world of Dream Team.
Pascal Gross (£3.4m) flew out of the blocks before passing the mantle to Alexis Mac Allister (£3.5m); recently Solly March (£2.6m) has provided healthy returns but now Mitoma has grabbed the spotlight.
Dream Team bosses in need of a cheap midfield asset capable of ticking over should permanently have one eye on the Amex Stadium, especially while De Zerbi’s tactics continue to ensure plenty of goals to go around.
There isn’t a right-back in the land who isn’t at least partially wary of facing Mitoma on current form. More

THERE’S an unwritten rule here at Dream Team HQ that states we never ignore a hat-trick.Given that the player in question usually banks 28 points as a result of scoring three goals in a game, we feel it’s always worth remarking on in one way or another.
But boy, is Erling Haaland (£8.8m) putting our rule to the test.
Just another day in the life of Alfie Haaland’s sonCredit: getty
Manchester City’s No9 scored all his sides goals in a 3-0 win over Wolves on Sunday to register his FOURTH hat-trick of the season.
The prolific striker is collecting match balls at such a rapid rate that it’s difficult to find a fresh angle each time.
Behold the Haaland paradox: when a hat-trick is both simultaneously unremarkable and astonishing.
Making a big thing of the Norway international’s performance at home to Julen Lopetegui’s side is like highlighting the fact the sun rises in the morning.
Equally, the fact he’s made scoring hat-tricks normal is incredibly abnormal.
To put the frequency with which Haaland is bagging triples into context, consider that Sergio Aguero currently holds the record for most Premier League hat-tricks with 12, achieved over nine and a half seasons.
Given that Haaland has four in half a campaign, we can perform a fun though experiment in which he remains a Etihad resident for as long as the legendary Argentine while maintaining his current rate, and therefore finishes his City career with 76 Prem hat-tricks.
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That’s obviously not going to happen but those numbers underline the freakish nature of his debut season on these shores to date.
Where is he keeping all the match balls?Credit: getty
Ruud van Nistelrooy previously held the record for the least amount of games needed to register four Premier League hat-tricks – the Dutchman achieved the feat in 65 outings, 46 more than Haaland.
The list of players with fewer hat-tricks to their name in England’s top flight includes revered goalscorers such as: Cristiano Ronaldo, Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, Robbie Keane, Son Heung-min and Jamie Vardy.
On four hat-tricks, he’s currently level with Mohamed Salah (£8.6m) , Dwight Yorke, Teddy Sheringham, Fernando Torres and other notable names with years of Premier League experience.
If Haaland didn’t already have the Golden Boot sewn up then he surely does now – he’s on course for 50 league goals for crying out loud.
Harry Kane (£7.6m) is his closest competitor and the England captain is ten goals adrift.
Records are tumbling
There’s a similar gulf at the top of the Dream Team rankings.
The 22-year-old is 92 points ahead of the next-best forward, Marcus Rashford (£5.4m), and 84 points ahead of his nearest rival overall, Kieran Trippier (£6.3m).
To put that lead over the Manchester United man into context, Aleksandar Mitrovic (£5.1m), who is enjoying a brilliant campaign by anyone’s standards, has 91 points in total.
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Haaland’s current tally of 256 points means Ronaldo’s all-time record of 477 in a single season is genuinely under threat – a reminder that the five-time Ballon d’Or winner is the only quadruple centurion in our beloved game’s history.
Let’s circle back to this topic the next time he scores a hat-trick… call it a fortnight. More

IF Arsenal do win the Premier League title this season – and such talk is warranted given they’re on track to achieve 100 points – then Eddie Nketiah (£3.2m) will deserve his fair share of the plaudits.When Gabriel Jesus (£5.3m) was sidelined with an relatively significant injury, there were plenty of fans and pundits who doubted whether the Gunners could maintain their momentum.
The Brazilian No9 scored five goals and assisted another five in is first 14 league games for his new club, gluing the front three together beautifully.
In addition, many observers had already questioned whether Arsenal had the necessary depth to sustain their impressive results – Man City’s second-choice XI is considerably stronger.
However, Nketiah has led the line superbly since the restart, scoring six goals in as many games.
Do you owe Nketiah an apology?Credit: getty
Sunday’s main event played host to the 23-year-old’s crowning moment as he scored a brace against Man United to help Mikel Arteta’s side to their 16th victory of the league campaign.
In an age of false nines, Nketiah is a striker in the mould of a classic poacher.
While limited in regards to some technical aspects of the game compared to Jesus, Nketiah has razor-sharp instincts when inside the opposition’s box.
His predatory nature was fully on display against the Red Devils as he scored a close-range header to capitalise on hesitancy from Aaron Wan-Bissaka (£3.3m) before his improvised finish in the 90th minute bagged all three points.
A prolific scorer at youth level for England, his prowess in the penalty area has rarely been doubted but there were question marks over his ability to link up with Bukayo Saka (£4.1m), Martin Odegaard (£3.6m) and Gabriel Martinelli (£3.6m) in the same effortless manner as Jesus.
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So far, Nketiah’s contribution to Arsenal’s build-up has been greater than expected, much to Arteta’s relief, and more than a few doubters owe the young forward an apology.
The Gunners haven’t missed Jesus as of yet
And his success is plainly there for Dream Team managers to see as well.
An 18-point haul at the expense of David De Gea (£3.8m) and company means Nketiah has banked 49 points in the space of six games since the restart.
Hat-trick machine Erling Haaland (£8.8m) was the only forward to register more points at the weekend.
At the time of writing, Nketiah features in just 2.1% of teams – the slim of minority of gaffers who recruited him in the wake of Jesus’ injury have been handsomely rewarded.
On top of everything else, he’s extremely affordable at £3.2m. More

FRIDAY brings a change of Game Week but before we sink our teeth into the imminent fixtures let’s reflect upon the success stories from the week past.Paul O’Connor finished as Game Week 18’s best gaffer having amassed 115 points when all was said and done.
Let’s take a closer look at how his XI ‘OC Milan’ topped the pile…
Newcastle at the back, Manchester in attackCredit: DREAM TEAM
Paul supports Manchester United but you can’t blame him for backing Newcastle’s defensive assets to the hilt.
The Magpies have conceded just 11 league goals this season, three fewer than the next best team in this regard.
Nick Pope (£5m) kept his 11th Premier League clean sheet of the season last Sunday, benefiting from Aleksandar Mitrovic’s (£5.1m) freak penalty miss to bank seven points.
Kieran Trippier (£6.3m) is the outright best defender in the game this term but he actually missed out of a 7+ rating against Marco Silva’s side, a rare thing indeed.
Dan Burn (£4.6m), Sven Botman (£4.6m) and Fabian Schar (£4.8m) all picked up bonus points though, with the latter going one better to claim the Star Man award for a 13-point haul.
Paul’s five Newcastle players combined for 41 points to underline their defensive might once again.
A man who features in 1% of teamsCredit: getty
Mathias Jensen’s (£1.8m) inclusion has to be considered a masterstroke as the Danish midfielder only had 33 points to his name prior to Game Week 18.
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Despite that relatively underwhelming tally, Paul correctly identified that Brentford v Bournemouth was a fixture to target given the two teams’ contrasting form in recent weeks.
Jensen (1% ownership) scored the second goal of the game in a 2-0 win for the Bees and edged out his team-mates to take home the Star Man gong and 13 points.
Riyad Mahrez (£5.8m) featured in Game Week 17’s Team of the Week and he retained his place with a 19-point haul.
Manchester City’s Algerian winger blanked in the Manchester derby but cashed in during his side’s spirited second half comeback against Spurs on Thursday night.
He scored two of the Citizens’ goals and assisted another as the defending champions rallied from 2-0 down at half time to win 4-2.
One man who certainly didn’t blank at Old Trafford at the weekend was Bruno Fernandes (£5.6m).
It was a bolster week for Fernandes
The Portuguese playmaker scored a controversial goal against City and followed that up with another at Crystal Palace where he also pouched the Star Man award.
No midfielder scored more points than Fernandes’ 21 in Game Week 18.
Up top, Erling Haaland (£8.8m) had to settle for just the one goal and eight points – that’s basically a drought by his standards.
Marcus Rashford (£5.4m) continued his fantastic form with a Star Man showing in the Manchester derby – he’s scored in every game since the restart.
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And Paul decided to show off by proving that he only needs ten players to be the Game Week’s top gaffer as Darwin Nunez (£5.5m) didn’t feature for Liverpool after picking up an injury in training.
Just imagine how many points he could rack up with a full allotment… More

JESSE MARSCH kept his cards close to his chest in the build-up to Wilfried Gnonto’s (£1.7m) summer transfer to Leeds.Speaking to the media when asked how the teenage forward would be used prior to the deal being unexpectedly finalised on deadline day, the American coach said that he didn’t think Italy’s youngest ever goalscorer would be ready for the Premier League this season.
Just four months on, it could be argued that Gnonto is the Whites’ most in-form player.
Riding a wave of praise from fans and pundits alike, the 19-year-old scored an impressive brace against Cardiff on Wednesday night to ensure his side’s progression to the FA fourth round.
And his first goal, a Paulo Di Canio-esque scissor volley after just 26 seconds, emphatically underlined his potential.
A blossoming talent
Already there is speculation of where he might end up next but for now he’s for the Elland Road faithful to enjoy, and that they have in recent weeks.
Perhaps it’s time Dream Team bosses started paying attention to his progress too as he’s pouched 29 points across the last three Game Weeks.
He scored his first goal for the Yorkshire club against West Ham at the start of the month and his double against Championship opposition in midweek was a fitting reward for his efforts since he became a first team regular.
In both fixtures he was thoroughly deserving of the Star Man award.
A shade under 5ft 6in, Gnonto is a natural dribbler with a low centre of gravity and is seemingly able to wriggle under defenders at times.
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And like Wilfired Zaha (£4.9m) and Jack Grealish (£3.8m), he draws a lot of fouls, winning frequent free-kicks for his team in advantageous positions.
Gnonto is an increasingly important player for LeedsCredit: getty
Capable of playing as a centre-forward or a second striker, he has predominantly played from the left at Leeds and looked every bit a bold winger.
The stats boffins are excited about his progression numbers and the fans in stands love his nutmegs and fearless attitude.
Gnonto is still raw and his inexperience has been evident in how he’s picked up some needless yellow cards, something Dream Team manager will be wary of, but the fact he’s already got eight caps for Italy under his belt is testament to his talent.
Nobody at Leeds, not least Marsch, expected Gnonto to make waves this early in his career – his dad still drives him to training – but his form can’t be denied.
A bright future aheadCredit: getty
His £4million transfer fee already looks like a smart bit of business.
Given the wealth of options up front, it would take a bold Dream Team gaffer to recruit Gnonto ahead of Game Week 19 but there may be some out there in need to a cut-price in-form forward.
Everyone else would be wise to monitor his progress as he certainly looks like one for the future. More

MOST of the time we prefer to highlight players who are thriving in the world of Dream Team.But the reality is that gaffers should also be aware of under-performing assets, particularly those who are relatively popular.
With that mind, allow us to reluctantly present the five most-selected players with 40 points to fewer to their name right now.
Pascal Struijk (£1.5m)

3.3% ownership
37 points

Backing a Leeds defender? That’s a head-scratcher…Credit: getty
In defence of the Dutchman’s owners, he did start the campaign on the front foot, racing to 20 points by the end of Game Week 3.
And recently he did well to take 13 points from match-ups against Man City and Newcastle.
But let’s be honest, any gaffer who has kept faith in a Leeds defender this long hasn’t been paying attention.
The Whites are enterprising enough going forward but their progress under Jesse Marsch has been severely hindered by vulnerabilities at the back.
Nottingham Forest and Bournemouth are the only two teams to have conceded more league goals this season and Struijk, who has mostly been playing out of position at left-back, has copped plenty of minus points as a result.
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Granted, there are no other defenders in the 23-year-old’s price range with more points but surely a change of strategy is required for those backing him?
Philippe Coutinho (£1.7m)

4.6% ownership
0 points

Still on a duck!
Yes, you read right, ZERO points.
Signed during last season’s January transfer window, the Brazilian midfielder hit the ground running on his return to the Premier League with Aston Villa.
Coutinho scored four goals and provided three assists in his first eight outings for the Villains – a fruitful spell that produced plenty of Dream Team points.
Despite a quiet end to the campaign, the ex-Barcelona playmaker was a popular man ahead of 2022/23’s Game Week 1.
Incredibly, after 18 appearances is an many Game Weeks, Coutinho has no points to show for his efforts, with a lone 7+ rating against Leeds counteracted by three yellow cards.
For those inexplicably still backing the 30-year-old, you should Google the term: sunk cost fallacy.
Jadon Sancho (£3.2m)

6.5% ownership
34 points

It hasn’t clicked for Sancho at Old Trafford yetCredit: getty
There’s two factors to consider here when weighing up the England winger’s underwhelming returns.
Firstly, he’s been injured since early November, something he can’t be blamed for, of course.
However, Sancho has started 12 games and come off the bench in a further two this season – his average of 2.4 points-per-game is disappointing however you spin it.
Erik ten Hag is improving Man United at a rapid rate – the Red Devils are just one point behind Man City after victory over their neighbours in the derby – and it will be interesting to see whether Sancho will exhibit greater confidence when placed back into a winning team.
Truth be told, the 22-year-old’s ownership is probably a vestige of his immense popularity at the start of the season – he was one of the most-selected players in the game throughout the first few Game Weeks.
Kyle Walker (£3.8m)

7.1% ownership
23 points

Walking pace
That long lay-off in the run-up to the World Cup obviously did plenty of damage but there’s a wider discussion to be had about the experienced right-back’s Dream Team viability.
Walker rarely deals in concrete goal contributions and, for whatever reason, he often misses out on 7+ ratings.
Last season, he failed to break three figures (something achieved by five other Man City defenders) even though made 31 appearances.
And the England international is averaging just 2.1 points-per-game when fit this term.
On the surface, Walker seems like a safe selection for Dream Team bosses but he’s become something of trapdoor in recent seasons, for the reasons that aren’t entirely obvious.
Dejan Kulusevski (£3.6m)

8.5% ownership
31 points

Class is permanent, right?Credit: getty
It’s a similar story to Sancho here as the Swede’s injury setbacks are only partly responsible for his lowly points tally.
The Spurs midfielder started the term in swaggering fashion with a Star Man showing against Southampton, scoring one goal and assisting another in a 4-1 victory.
However, Kulusevski mustered just two points in his next seven outings.
It’s a testament to his creative powers that he’s notched five assists at a rate of one every 158.6 minutes in the Premier League this season.
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13 games missed through injury is the headline here but Spurs’ general struggles have also restricted his returns when available.
Fingers crossed he gets a extended run of games soon because he’s got the attributes to be a Dream Team hero, as evidenced in 2021/22. More

A BIT of harmless of Dream Team fun here to get you over the midweek hump.We’ve constructed the best possible XI (in terms of current season points) but with one crucial restriction: we’re not allowed to include more than one player per team.
We’ll spare you the maths we were forced to endure and get right down to business with the outcome…
GOALKEEPER: Dean Henderson (£2.7m)
Punching above his weightCredit: getty
Nottingham Forest are prioritising survival above all in their first season back in the Premier League and if they achieve their aim they’ll owe plenty to their temporary custodian.
On loan from Manchester United, Henderson has earned three Star Man awards so far this term.
His total of 60 points puts hims seventh among assets in his position which a great effort considering only Bournemouth have conceded more league goals than Forest at this stage.
It will be interesting to see how Steve Cooper’s side get on now that Henderson is expected to be sidelined with injury for at least the next four weeks.
DEFENDERS: Kieran Trippier (£6.2m), Thiago Silva (£5.4m), Ben Mee (£2.8m)
Silva liningCredit: getty
No fewer than four Newcastle defenders feature in the current top eight but because of our limitation we can only have the top dog.
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With 160 points to his name, Trippier is 44 points clear at the peak of the defensive rankings – Nick Pope (£4.8m) is by far and away the best keeper too but his leading margin is not as wide and his total points are considerably lower than his vice-captain’s as well.
Chelsea assets have generally flattered to deceive in 2022/23 but their experienced Brazilian centre-back has bucked the trend and amassed 86 points, 22 more than his next-best team-mate.
Silva claimed four consecutive Star Man awards between Game Weeks 5 and 8.
Several defenders from Manchester City, Arsenal and Manchester United are hovering at the right end of the rankings but we need players from those clubs to fill other positions so Brentford’s reliable No16 gets the nod.
Mee’s tally of 67 isn’t worth getting too excited about but his points-game-game average of 3.5 is better than that of John Stones (£5.2m), William Saliba (£3.4m) and Trent Alexander-Arnold (£5.6m).
The ex-Burnley centre-back has proved to be a smart signing for the Bees and he’s fully deserving of his spot in this hypothetical XI.
MIDFIELDERS: Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg (£3.5m), James Ward-Prowse (£4m), Martin Odegaard (£3.4m), Pascal Gross (£3.1m)
Captain fantasticCredit: getty
As league leaders, Arsenal naturally boast multiple Dream Team success stories this season and their skipper has led by example.
After yet another classy showing in the north London derby, Odegaard became just the second asset in his position to pass the 100-point mark (101).
The Norway international has scored eight goals and provided five assists in 17 league fixtures – there’s a long way to go but he’s an early Player of the Year contender.
We’re not even sure how Hojbjerg has gathered 84 points, a total only bettered by six other midfielders.
The 27-year-old has quietly registered nine goal involvements (five goals, fours assists) and a healthy dose of 7+ ratings to warrant a spot in our team, although his returns are sustainable remains to be seen.
Brighton have averaged a shade under three goals a game since the start of November so it’s no wonder to see one of their many technically-sound midfielders make the cut.
Gross has dabbled at full-back recently but you’ll remember how he burst out of the blocks with a scoring spree at the start of the campaign – the German raced to 36 points by Game Week 4 and has 83 in total.
Southampton’s captain completes our midfield but by the skin of his teeth.
Ward-Prowse bagged his biggest haul of the season so far at the weekend as his brace at Goodison Park produced 18 points.
A reliable and consistent performer, Saints’ No8 has spent much of the last three seasons in and around the top ten Dream Team midfielders, his total of 76 points puts him tenth currently.
Plus, now we know who will be taking our free-kicks.
FORWARDS: Erling Haaland (£8.8m), Marcus Rashford (£5.4m), Mohamed Salah (£8.8m)
Red hot form
Here are we then, the glaring reason why the likes of Joao Cancelo (£6.3m) and Kevin De Bruyne (£7.6m) have been overlooked.
Man City’s No9 is in a league of his own in Dream Team right now having plundered 220 points – no other player has more than 160.
Haaland has scored 27 goals for his new club already and there’s still half a season to play – obscene.
Not even the prolific Norwegian has been able to keep pace with Rashford since the restart.
Man United’s No10 has scored in every game since returning from Qatar, zooming from 82 points to 156 in the blink of an eye.
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Last but not least, it says a lot about Liverpool’s main man that even when he’s not at his best amid a team with serious problems, he’s still racked up 149 points.
Salah has saved his best work for the Champions League this term (seven goals in 444 minutes) and he’s ticked over elsewhere despite the Reds’ stuttering form. More