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      in Boxing

      My premature son nearly died after being born under 4lbs… but I couldn’t use trauma as excuse for shambolic defeat

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      DENZEL BENTLEY has explained to SunSport how he went into his British title loss as a red-hot favourite – while terrified his 3lb baby son would lose his fight for life.The Battersea middleweight was tipped to dominate Stoke hero Nathan Heaney last November and defend his Lonsdale belt with relative ease.Denzel Bentley has opened up to SunSport about his newborn son’s fight for lifeCredit: GettyThe middleweight star lost to Nathan Heaney just weeks after little Cairo was bornCredit: GettyBentley refuses to blame his loss on the trauma surrounding his son’s first few weeksCredit: Richard Pelham / The SunBut Heaney put on a masterclass to cause the upset and whack 29-year-old Bentley’s world-title pursuit.In trademark Peacock Gym style, Bentley refused to use his personal plight – and that of little Cairo’s – as an excuse.For almost a year SunSport was happy to leave the traumatic tale untold in respect of Heaney’s performance and Bentley’s privacy.But as the little tyke approaches his first birthday, we asked Daddy Cool to look back on those events.READ MORE ON BOXINGBentley explained: “The fight was November 18 and he wasn’t due until the second to last week of November and then he turned up mid-October, six weeks early.”But I had already agreed the fight and I was already in camp, we had done around six weeks with about three to go, then boom, he pops up.”I didn’t know what to do. It was traumatic for me and my missus, because of the way he arrived, doctors were saying that if we had left it 30 minutes longer he might not have made it.”He was in intensive care for about 10 days so I am only doing gym-hospital-home.Most read in BoxingCASINO SPECIAL – BEST CASINO WELCOME OFFERS”I stopped everything else, nothing else mattered, I forgot about everything else.”It was a shambles and then as soon as I finally got him home, I had to go to Manchester for fight week and the fight.Daniel Dubois ‘turned Anthony Joshua’s legs to jelly’ during brutal sparring session, says ex-Team GB boxing star”I genuinely did not want to be there, I wanted to be at home with my son.”I spent every minute on the phone to my missus asking what the news was, what the updates are, what the midwife has said, what’s he weigh – because he was under 4lbs – is he healthy, is he on track, is he behind?”And – because I cannot be there physically – I just want to get the fight out of the way and get home.”I probably should have pulled out but if I was taken back in time I probably would still take the fight again – because I don’t want to live with regrets.ANTHONY JOSHUA VS DANIEL DUBOIS: All the information you need ahead of huge world title fight at Wembley”I had to crack on and I underestimated Nathan because I thought I could beat him on my worst day.”But it was my mistake, this is not an excuse, I felt I could beat him.”I didn’t want to use it as an excuse, I see fighters make excuses and I don’t like it.”I didn’t want to speak about it until I came back and put on some proper performances that show that different mindsets produce different performances.”When will the little terror learn he played such a pivotal role in briefly derailing his father’s career?Bentley laughed: “He has a month left.””Once he turns one, he can listen to what he caused and get a clip round the ear.”In a much more serious tone, the throwback fighter and doting parent told us: “My son never asked me to bring him here.READ MORE SUN STORIES”I brought him into the world so it’s up to me to make sure he is secure and he can live the life he deserves to live.”Watch Riyadh Season Card: Joshua v Dubois, live on TNT Sports Box Office from 4pm on Saturday 21 September. Find out more at tntsports.co.uk/boxoffice More

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      Anthony Joshua made a mistake for Oleksandr Usyk fight… because he didn’t ask me to spar in camp and I was shocked

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      ANTHONY JOSHUA remains the king of British boxing by mentoring young princes like Moses Itauma who want to take his crown.Three years ago – when 34-year-old AJ was preparing for his rematch with Oleksandr Usyk – the 6ft 3in freakishly-talented southpaw was desperate for sparring rounds and looked like a tailor-made suitor.Moses Itauma admitted he was shocked after being overlooked by Anthony Joshua in sparringCredit: GettyThe talented southpaw currently boasts an unbeaten 10-0 recordCredit: GettyItauma is part of the same Ben Davison gym as London 2012 hero AJCredit: GettyTeam AJ bizarrely overlooked the Chatham wonderkid, despite his identical frame and similar style to the Ukrainian genius.The snub left the Kent teenager Itauma feeling shocked and confused.But now the 19-year-old prodigy is part of the same Ben Davison gym as the London 2012 legend.And they have been bumping biceps and brains in the compact Harlow sweatbox.READ MORE ON BOXINGInstead of overlooking or undermining the latest generation of British giants looking to knock him off the throne, Joshua is doing everything he can to raise Itauma up to his level.The 10-0 prospect told SunSport: “I was shocked when they never asked me back for the second Usyk camp because I would have loved to have been part of that.”I was confused by it but it’s not a question you want to ask a team-mate now – ‘Excuse me mate, why didn’t you invite me for the Usyk camp?’”I have the privilege to train in the same gym as him now and I was on a walk the other day and I was thinking what I would call him now?Most read in BoxingCASINO SPECIAL – BEST CASINO WELCOME OFFERS”And it’s a mentor. Because I go to him with a lot of questions about boxing, in the ring and things out of it, I ask him a lot and he always helps me.”I am just happy to be in this position.”Daniel Dubois ‘turned Anthony Joshua’s legs to jelly’ during brutal sparring session, says ex-Team GB boxing starEight years ago, when AJ’s Saturday night opponent Daniel Dubois burst onto the pro scene without much of a senior amateur record, he allegedly grabbed the attention of hall-of-fame promoter Frank Warren by flooring Joshua in Team GB sparring.And four years ago, when schoolboy Itauma was popping up in gyms all over the country – STILL IN HIS UNIFORM – he was earning a fearsome reputation as a babyface killer even the biggest and best didn’t want to work with.The comparison between Dynamite Dan and ice-cool Itauma seems clear, but he bats it off like a rival’s jab.He explained: “When everyone first turns professional, we all need a story to sell and that’s what they sold with Dubois, dropping AJ, or whatever happened,”My story is different. I have a big amateur pedigree and my sparring story is that from a young age I was sparring everyone.”But I have never come out and said I have knocked out anyone, because sparring stories are just sparring stories, everyone has one.ANTHONY JOSHUA VS DANIEL DUBOIS: All the information you need ahead of huge world title fight at Wembley”I believe Frank Warren has said he signed me based off of footage he saw of a sparring session – but I don’t know who I was sparring with.”I never found out who it was but I could understand the story because I do well in those spars and that’s where I get my confidence from.READ MORE SUN STORIES”If I was holding my own against guys with world titles and world title shots, at 15, now I am 19 and I can wonder what I might be like in another four year’s time.”Watch Riyadh Season Card: Joshua v Dubois, live on TNT Sports Box Office from 4pm on Saturday 21 September. Find out more at tntsports.co.uk/boxoffice. More

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      in Soccer

      Football match descends into chaos as red cards dished out for no reason by prankster referee

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      FOOTBALLERS abandoned a game when red cards got dished out for no reason — from a TV prankster referee.The Sunday league match descended into chaos when four players were sent off within minutes.Sunday League footballers abandoned a game when red cards got dished out for no reason — from a TV prankster refereeThe match descended into chaos when four players were sent off within minutesPlayers from Bow Badgers and Limehouse Tigres stormed off and refused to carry onLads from Bow Badgers and Limehouse Tigres stormed off and refused to carry on at the ­famous Hackney Marshes in East London.They were then told Norwegian Mads Hansen was only pretending to be a bad ref for his TV show.Mads hoodwinked the players when he turned up on Sunday with a brand new kit, two linesmen and GoPro camera.He told the players he was on a “referee exchange” after roping both coaches into the plan.read more on footballHe then proceeded to hand out eight cards, including four reds, to mounting disbelief.Mads explained: “We wanted to help the real unsung heroes, the amateur refs. “So we decided to be as terrible refs as absolutely possible — so the players would miss the real refs. “I think we succeeded. They told us we’d ruined their day.” Most read in FootballThe Hackney and Leyton League Division 3 match was then played with a real ref, and Limehouse won 3-2.A Bow Badgers spokesman said: “It was the first time a Badger player has scored a goal after being sent off.”The prank will air on Mads’ TV show, Dommerjaevel.Refs’ chief Howard Webb reveals Declan Rice red card was correct – but Arsenal wronged by different incorrect decisionReferee Mads Hansen was only pretending to be a bad ref for his TV showCredit: X More

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      Ben Chilwell chased by two Premier League rivals despite ‘bomb squad’ outcast being welcomed back into Chelsea fold

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      CRYSTAL PALACE and Ipswich are both tracking Ben Chilwell and could make a move for the defender in January.The full-back almost left Chelsea over the summer but stayed at Stamford Bridge after failing to find a new club.Ben Chilwell is being chased by two Premier League after he was frozen out at ChelseaCredit: GettyChilwell looked to a mini-comeback after being included in the Blues Premier League squad listCredit: GettyOliver Glasner’s Crystal Palace are interested in ChilwellCredit: ReutersKieran McKenna’s Ipswich are another would-be suitorCredit: GettyHowever, sources say the ex-Leicester City star is concerned about the lack of game-time he is likely to get in West London – and is open-minded to a transfer.That has put Palace and Ipswich on red alert over a deal for the 21-cap England international.Chelsea are also thought to be keen to explore the option of letting Chilwell leave as they grapple with the demands of trying to manage a massive squad.It comes just weeks after it seemed Chilwell had secured a dramatic pathway back into the fold at Chelsea after being named in their Premier League squad.READ MORE IN FOOTBALLThe £50million defender was one of the infamous members of the so-called ‘bomb squad’ banished from training with the rest of the squad by manager Enzo Maresca during the transfer window.But after failing to find a new club, Chilwell was later included on the 25-man list of players for top-flight games this season in a surprise U-turn.The 27-year-old’s last appearance for Chelsea was as a two-minute substitute in the FA Cup semi-final defeat to Manchester City back in April.He then became one of 13 big-name players forced to work alone when the club’s summer spending spree took the size of the squad to 42 players at one point.Most read in FootballBEST FREE BET SIGN UP OFFERS FOR UK BOOKMAKERSChelsea managed to offload many of those stars in a frantic finish to the latest transfer window.Raheem Sterling joined Arsenal, Trevoh Chalobah is on loan at Crystal Palace and Kepa Arrizabalaga joined Bournemouth on loan too.Chelsea fans can’t name their OWN PLAYERS after another wild transfer window under owner Todd BoehlyNo deals could be done for Chilwell and he will now remain at Chelsea until at least January.His long-term place at Stamford Bridge looks shaky with Marc Cucurella, Renato Veiga and Levi Colwill ahead of him in the pecking order at left-back.Chelsea ratings vs Bournemouth as Sanchez and Sancho are heroes… and Palmer strugglesCHELSEA needed a late moment of magic from Christopher Nkunku to snatch all three points from Bournemouth.Marcus Tavernier crashed a super strike against the crossbar early on and Robert Sanchez saved an Evanilson penalty before the break.Jadon Sancho came on for his debut at half-time and made the difference for the Blues as he set up Nkunku’s winner.Here’s how SunSport’s Graham Nickless rated Maresca’s men…Robert Sanchez – 8Man-of-the-match show with first-half penalty save from Evanilson and a handful of excellent saves.But rather fortunate to stay on the pitch after denying Evanilson a clear goalscoring opportunity with a deliberate foul that led to the spot-kick.Axel Disasi – 5The right-back was given an uncomfortable night down the right side.Given the runaround by Cherries dangerman Antoine Semenyo and was replaced just after the hour.Wesley Fofana – 6Did his best to keep a clean sheet when run ragged by the home strikers.Luckily for the centre-back, he could rely on Sanchez to keep them out.Levi Colwill – 6Did his best to calm the storm that came the Blues’ way for most of the match.Made sure he kept record-signing Evanilson away from notching his first Premier League goal.Marc Cucurella – 7Always busy and making a nuisance of himself when he wasn’t being buffeted by Semenyo’s marking.But overdid it with one stupid, deliberate shoulder barge on the Bournemouth winger.Renato Veiga – 5Suffered like most of his team-mates to open up the home side’s defence.The Portuguese midfielder didn’t see enough of the ball to make an impact.Moises Caicedo – 7The captain was always looking for that defence-splitting pass when he wasn’t on defensive duty.Gave an example to others around him who weren’t putting in a decent shift.Noni Madueke – 5Was quite mad attempting an early shot at the home goal that ended up as a throw-in.And it didn’t get much better than that for the winger who was hauled off just after the hour.Cole Palmer – 5Rested by England for tired muscles and there wasn’t much energy in this performance.But the Cherries, worried by his reputation, did target him in the first half.Pedro Neto – 5Failed to make any impact on the wing but could claim he had little or no service.Boss Maresca had seen enough and brought on Sancho to replace him at half-time.Nicolas Jackson – 5Chelsea fans won’t want to suffer another nine years of this from the big striker.Had one shot comfortably saved and another blocked but will need to show more upfront for his ludicrous long contract.SUBSJadon Sancho (for Neto) – 8Was booked 11 minutes after coming on then, looked likely throughout second half and set up Nkunku’s equaliser on super debut.Tosin Adarabioyo (for Disasi) – 6Was seldom troubled.Joao Felix (for Madueke) – 5Tidied up in midfield.Christopher Nkunku (for Jackson) – 8Burst through three players to score and snatch the winner. More

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      Phil Foden’s son, 5, set to become star by entertaining fans as a YouTuber

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      FOOTIE ace Phil Foden’s five-year-old son is set to smash the net again — with his own YouTube channel.Ronnie already has five million Instagram followers after dancing on the pitch following his dad’s 2023 Champions League triumph with Manchester City.Phil Foden’s five-year-old son Ronnie is getting his own YouTube channelCredit: GettyRonnie was nicknamed ‘The Dude’ by City fans and has since become the unofficial mascot for the teamCredit: GettyNow the cheeky chap could cash in on his fame by entertaining fans as a YouTuber after dad Phil, 23, and mum Rebecca, 22, set up a channel for him.A source said: “Ronnie loves being the centre of attention and is a big fan of some of the YouTubers so Phil and his mum have set up an account.“He could end up making loads of money from it.”Speaking about his son’s celebrations in Istanbul, Phil said: “His personality has made him who he is. READ MORE ON FOOTBALL”He just reminds me of myself when I was a kid and he’s very funny.”Ronnie was nicknamed “The Dude” by City fans and has since become the unofficial mascot for the team.And after their latest Premier League title in May, he was seen trying to open a bottle of champagne to the amusement of fans.He has a modelling contract and is on a talent group’s books despite only just starting school.Most read in FootballPhil and Rebecca also share daughter TruePhil Foden’s girlfriend Rebecca Cooke gives birth to boy with England star to fly back to Euro 2024 for Slovakia clash More

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      Glum-faced Newcastle ace Kieran Trippier ditches wedding ring as his marriage crisis deepens after partying with blonde

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      GLUM-faced footie ace Kieran Trippier is seen without his wedding ring as his marriage crisis deepens.The Newcastle United and former England full-back, 33, was snapped looking miserable at a train station on Saturday.Glum-faced footie ace Kieran Trippier is seen without his wedding ring as his marriage crisis deepensFrankie Carmichael is a regular in Newcastle’s hotspots and was named online after he was filmed lifting a reveller up in a barSpeculation over his eight-year marriage to Charlotte intensified after the mum of three stayed away from the EurosCredit: GettyTrippier wrapped his arms around the woman before hoisting her aloftCredit: facebook/frankie carmichaelIt comes after we yesterday revealed the party-girl caught up in speculation surrounding his troubled personal life.Frankie Carmichael, 27, is a regular in Newcastle’s hotspots and was named online after he was filmed lifting a reveller up by the bottom inside a packed karaoke bar in May last year.He wrapped his arms around the woman before hoisting her aloft. He and his teammates were celebrating Champions League qualification and ended up in Cosy Joes in the city.Read More on SportTrippier’s wife Charlotte, 35, was in Madrid at the time.Speculation over their eight-year marriage intensified after the mum of three stayed away from the Euros, including the final against Spain.In a message online, she wrote: “Sooner or later you get over the s*** you swore you’d never get over and it’s the best feeling in the world.”Their £3.8million home was put on the market before they took separate summer holidays.Most read in FootballTrippier has retired from international duty and asked for a transfer at Newcastle after losing his place in the team — appearing as a sub in yesterday’s game at Wolves.Kieran Trippier goes viral during Newcastle’s clash at Bournemouth after painful moment is caught on Sky Sports camerasNeither have commented on their relationship but Charlotte has removed her wedding ring.Trippier has retired from international duty and asked for a transfer at Newcastle after losing his place in the teamCredit: AFP More

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      England star Raheem Sterling publicly declares his faith in God as he is baptised in tank of water

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      FOOTIE star Raheem Sterling was baptised in a tank of water as he publicly declared his faith in God — and “cleansed” himself of past sins.The England forward, 29, was filmed taking the plunge dressed in a white gown, with a congregation singing gospel songs.Footballer Raheem Sterling has been baptised after declaring his faith in GodCredit: The ceremony for the England footballer took place at a church in LondonCredit: Raheem Sterling has a new start in his career as well, recently joining ArsenalCredit: GettyThe Jamaica-born forward, on loan at Arsenal from Chelsea, was fully immersed by two church elders at last weekend’s ceremony at a London Caribbean Baptist church.A source close to the star said: “Raheem said a few words which were incredibly powerful and moving. He understood this was a public declaration of his faith and an opportunity to cleanse himself of any ego, or bad habits of the past.”Sterling is preparing to make his debut for new side Arsenal today in the North London derby with Tottenham.READ MORE RAHEEM STERLINGThe winger joined Mikel Arteta’s side on deadline day after Chelsea made clear they were looking to move him on.A loan deal had to be struck, with Chelsea still paying a large percentage of Sterling’s wages.Arsenal are pushing to make up ground on league leaders Manchester City.And with key stars Declan Rice and Martin Odegaard out of action due to suspension and injury, the stage is set for new signing Sterling to step up.Most read in FootballHow Raheem Sterling can make huge difference to Arsenal’s seasonRaheem Sterling has been training with new side Arsenal ahead of his potential debutCredit: Getty More

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      Sven-Goran Eriksson’s ex Faria Alam makes tribute to late England boss & reveals regret about how their affair ended

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      SVEN-GORAN ERIKSSON’s ex-mistress Faria Alam has said an emotional final farewell to the late former England boss with the words: “See you on the other side.”The Sun on Sunday spoke to the one-time FA secretary at her home near Seattle in America on the day Sven was buried in Sweden.Faria Alam paid tribute to Sven-Goran Eriksson and said: ‘I just want him to rest in peace, and see you on the other side if we ever meet’Credit: Toby CanhamSven had an affair with Faria when he was England manager in 2004Credit: GettyFaria said: ‘The way he treated me was just like a woman should be treated. He was very respectful and honourable’Credit: Gary Stone – The SunAnd Faria revealed they resumed contact in 2014 — ten years after their six-month affair — when he invited her to fly out to meet him in Hong Kong.Faria’s affair with the then Three Lions coach in 2004 caused a major scandal as Sven was in a relationship with Italian-American lawyer Nancy Dell’Olio at the time.Faria, 58, looked back at her romance with the Swede from her US home on ­Friday, the same day Sven was laid to rest.British-Bangladeshi beauty Faria told The Sun on Sunday she believes Sven’s spirit will live on even though he lost his battle with pancreatic cancer in August aged 76.Read More on SportAnd she revealed her regret about how the affair ended and told how Sven had left a lasting impact on her life.Paying tribute to her former lover, Faria said: “I just want him to rest in peace, and see you on the other side if we ever meet.“The body deteriorates and dies, but your soul never does. His soul will always remain. I hope his spirit lives on, especially in his children. I’m sure it does.“I want to give my deepest condolences to his family and his partner.”Most read in FootballHis heartbroken partner, Panamanian ex-dancer Yaniseth Alcides, 53, and his children Johan, 45, and Lina, 37, were among 600 mourners at the funeral held in Sven’s hometown of Torsby.Also at the town’s Fryksande church were Nancy, 63, whose ten-year relationship with him ended in 2007, and Sven’s England captain David Beckham, 49.Sven-Goran Eriksson is laid to rest at funeral service in Torsby, SwedenSven and Faria began seeing each other after she had been romantically involved with FA chief executive Mark Palios.Before wooing her, dark horse Sven had cheated on Nancy with fellow Swede Ulrika Jonsson in 2002.Faria insists that Sven and Nancy were no longer living together when her romance with him began.She says she told him she could not get involved with him if he was seeing someone else but he took her to his house and there was no trace of Nancy there.Faria explained: “He was very attracted to me and I was slowly getting attracted to him, but I still backed off because I thought, ‘No, I know he has a girlfriend. I shouldn’t be doing any of this.’“I didn’t until I knew that it was OK for me to do.I just want him to rest in peace, and see you on the other side if we ever meetFaria Alam“I know for a fact she didn’t live in the house any more. I didn’t do anything before that.“They made it look like he was in the midst of this amazing marriage or whatever.“First of all, they weren’t married. Nobody was married. I wasn’t, he wasn’t.“I understand people may think it’s a betrayal, but who is be­tray­ing who when he wasn’t with her?”Faria said her fondest memory of Sven was a dinner they had to- gether at Indian restaurant Yaatra in ­Mayfair towards the end of 2003, before they had started dating.She also recalled visiting him at his home in Torsby and meeting his father Sven Snr, now 95. ‘Very passionate’She said: “The way he treated me was just like a woman should be treated. He was very respectful and honourable.“He talked about football a lot and how he really enjoyed the game. If he could, he would’ve played again.“He was very passionate about football. He was just a very passionate man, overall. He was the complete opposite of his cool exterior.“He showed that he was very calm and collected and when he spoke it was a deliberate calmness.“But when it was personal and one to one, he was very passionate with what he used to say to me. “We’d go out to dinner when it was possible and he would always say, ‘We have a great relationship and a great rapport, we have a good ­situation here’.Sven was laid to rest in his hometown of Torsby in Sweden on FridayCredit: Bradley Ormesher – The TimesNancy Dell’Olio, whose ten-year relationship with Sven ended in 2007, at the funeralCredit: Doug SeeburgSven’s England captain David Beckham at the town’s Fryksande church for the serviceCredit: Doug Seeburg“I know he loved me, he said so, and I told him I loved him because I did.”Sven had announced his battle with pancreatic cancer in January. He told Amazon Prime documentary Sven, released just days before he died: “I had a good life.“Hopefully at the end people will say, yeah, he was a good man, but everyone will not say that.“I hope you will remember me as a positive guy trying to do everything he could do.”These days Faria lives in ­Kirkland, a city 12 miles north of downtown Seattle in Washington state. She works in sales and marketing for luxury brand Gucci and keeps fit by walking around her suburban neighbourhood.The body deteriorates and dies, but your soul never does. His soul will always remain. I hope his spirit lives on, especially in his childrenFaria AlamFaria already suffered heartache earlier this year when she lost her mother in February, aged 86.She said the last time she spoke with Sven was in 2014.“I managed to get his email address and emailed him,” she explained.”He reached out and asked for my number. I think he was in China at the time and he asked to meet in Hong Kong.“I said, ‘I’d love to, but I just can’t even leave work at the moment right now’.“He said it would just be nice to meet up. That was all. It wasn’t to start anything up. “He just wanted to see me, I guess. I didn’t go but we spoke very fondly to each other about how we felt.”Faria said even though they were together for only six months and had not spoken in a decade, Sven left a lasting impact on her life.‘It broke me’She said: “For me, having that relationship was quite something.“It meant a lot to me because it changed me. I became who I am today. I’m stronger. I was very fearful of things when I was younger. I was more bothered about what people said.”Former fashion model Faria joined the FA as a personal assistant in July 2003.She began a relationship with then divorced dad-of-five Mark towards the end of that year.It culminated in a trip to Paris together but after that, the football chief broke things off with her.Faria’s relationships with Sven and Mark, now 71, were revealed in August 2004.Earlier that summer, England had been knocked out of the quarter- finals of the Euro 2004 championship by Portugal on penalties.The sex scandal forced Mark — currently the co-owner, with his wife Nicola, and chairman of League Two club Tranmere Rovers — to step down from his role at the helm of the FA.The way he treated me was just like a woman should be treated. He was very respectful and honourableFaria AlamIn October 2004, Faria accused the FA of sexual harassment, unfair dismissal and breach of contract but her claims were rejected by an employment tribunal.Faria said the one regret from her relationship with Sven was how she decided to leave London after their fling was revealed. She took a job with a fashion label in New York even though Sven begged her to stay.She said: “I don’t think I had the maturity to push forward with him because of the backlash I’d had.“It just broke me and I needed a break from London.“I regret it because of his tone, his voice — not pleading, but just telling me, ‘Hold on. Don’t just go and disappear’.“That was my only regret, not taking him up on that and not listening to him.”READ MORE SUN STORIES“I know he loved me and cared about me.“Maybe if things had been ­different, my life wouldn’t have been here. Maybe it would have been with him.” More