Exclusives

A STRING of goalscorers’ names in a football match report was likened to the sound of toffs romping in bed.Chelsea Women beat their West Ham United counterparts 4-2 with a hat-trick for Pernille Harder and a goal for Erin Cuthbert.
Pernille Harder scored a hat-trick as Chelsea Women beat their West Ham United counterparts 4-2
Erin Cuthbert also scored for Chelsea – setting up the hilarious match report
The order of the scorers left fans in hysterics after the report on the BBC website was likened to the sound of posh lovers having sex
The order of their strikes meant it was reported on the BBC Sport website as “Harder, Harder, Cuthbert, Harder”.
One social media user joked: “It sounds like posh people having sex.”
Fan Lee Anscombe compared the run of surnames to an upper-class woman “asking her servant for a good time”. 
Another added: “Laugh out loud funny.”
Chelsea banged them in at West Ham during their victory in the quarter-final of the FA Women’s League Cup on Wednesday.
The Blues scored first in the London derby through Danish star Harder, 29, before Katerina Svitkova equalised. 
Harder got her hat-trick in the second-half, with a goal from Scot Cuthbert, 23, in between. 
Halle Houssein’s consolation could not spoil what was called a “never to be repeated scoreline”.
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ENGLAND ace Kyle Walker and wife Annie are embroiled in a spat with neighbours in their village over accusations of “swearing and screaming”. Residents complained terrace-style language had regularly turned the air blue at the Manchester City defender’s mansion.
England ace Kyle Walker with his wife, Annie, whom he married last NovemberCredit: Eamonn and James Clarke
Annie Kilner and her footballer husband have ‘annoyed’ locals with their allegedly ‘vulgar language’
A source said: “The neighbours are so annoyed — it is a pleasant area and the language is often vulgar.”
Mum-of-three Annie, 29, was furious about the allegations while Kyle, 31, tried to act as peacemaker, without success.
The source added: “The neighbours are no longer speaking to them.
“They had a row with Annie because they could hear swearing and screaming coming from their garden.
“This is a nice part of the world, full of leading business executives, and they don’t expect to be subjected to such language.
“It wasn’t just a whisper, it was loud shouting and they’re sick of it. They can hear obscenities from inside their house and say she has a bad temper.”
Our source claimed of the swearing bouts in Prestbury, Cheshire: “It has happened a lot — and recently.
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“They asked Annie to keep the noise down. She was furious.
“Kyle contacted them to try to keep the peace, but that didn’t work.”
The £3.5million, six-bed house backs onto Wayne Rooney’s former home and has an indoor pool and football pitch.
It is their third row with neighbours following a dispute over a 13ft ivy screen and a new entertainment suite.
The couple married in November — despite him cheating on her and fathering a love child.
Representatives for Walker refused to comment.
The couple live in a six-bedroom house near Wayne Rooney’s former homeCredit: Cavendish
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ENGLAND’S Eric Dier has hit back at those who view footballers as thick, spoiled brats.The Spurs ace, 28 today, told a podcast: “Being judged on how I play football I don’t have a problem with too much.
Tottenham star Eric Dier says footballers get harshly criticised and make errors like normal peopleCredit: Rex
“But I have a bigger problem with the way footballers are perceived.
“A 22-year-old boy can do one stupid thing and it will snowball.
“That’s not to mean it’s right. If he did it a second time I’d be, like, ‘You idiot’.
“But it’s normal for people that age to be making mistakes.”
Dier, who speaks Portuguese and has raised capital for a dining app, said many players were intelligent and interesting.
He added: “You look at their cars — but they were the ones that from eight years old were the most disciplined, the most hard-working, the most committed.”
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FORMER Aston Villa footballer Glenn Whelan has dodged a road ban for speeding — because he needs to drive to games. He already had nine points on his licence when caught doing 49mph in a 40mph limit on the A55 near Bangor, Gwynned.
Whelan made 68 appearances for Aston Villa and scored two goalsCredit: Getty – Contributor
But he told Mold JPs he planned to become a player-coach at Bristol Rovers and a train would cost £200 each time.
The ex-Stoke and Sheffield Wednesday star said he could not rely on public transport to get home from evening games.
Whelan, 38, of Wilmslow, Cheshire, admitted speeding and was fined £307.
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Lucas Digne signs for Aston Villa in £25m transfer from Everton More

MANCHESTER United ace Marcus Rashford is back dating his childhood sweetheart — just eight months after their “painful” split.Marcus and Lucia Loi — both 24 — are believed to have linked up again shortly before Christmas.
Marcus Rashford is back dating his childhood sweetheart Lucia Loi
Lucia posted a cryptic picture on Instagram of a tattooed man’s hand resting on her boot
University graduate Lucia was then spotted getting into the England forward’s car following United’s 1-0 defeat against Wolves on January 3.
She also posted a cryptic picture on Instagram of a tattooed man’s hand resting on her boot.
A source said: “The intent for them to get back together has always been there.
“The break was good for their relationship as it offered them both space and assurance that they wanted to make this work moving forward.
“They have been together since school so an opportunity to breathe and focus on themselves was important.”
Another source said: “They have a shared history. She is one of the people who knows him best. They got back together before Christmas and are taking things slowly.
“But they make each other happy and he knows she is loyal and he can trust her.”
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The Sun told last May how Marcus and Lucia had ended their relationship and she had moved out of his home after the Covid lockdown created issues.
At the time, a source said the pair — who had spent eight years together — had a “strong mutual respect and love” for each other.
Last year, Marcus was made an MBE after he helped raise £20million for children to receive free school meals during the pandemic.
His campaign resulted in the Government providing summer vouchers for 1.3million children eligible for free school meals.
Lucia was then spotted getting into the England forward’s car following United’s 1-0 defeat against Wolves
Rashford was made an MBE after he helped raise £20million for children to receive free school meals
Marcus Rashford receive MBE from Prince William after free school-meals campaign More

FANS hoping to spend a night with Wayne Rooney will have to fork out up to £450 for a ticket.For that huge price you meet the footie ace and get a signed Man United shirt.
Wayne Rooney has been mocked by fans as he charges £450 for tickets to hear him speak
But many mocked the cost of the Evening With . . . event.
Steven Garrett posted online: “The prices are a f****** disgrace.”
Jill Moorehead wrote on Facebook: “Not at that price.”
And David Bryan added: “Would be a waste of money.”
March’s bash, organised by Legends 7 at a Manchester hotel, will see Derby County boss Rooney, 36, interviewed by former team-mate Wes Brown.
Platinum prices, including the meet and greet, signed shirt, a free drink, three-course dinner, souvenir photo and superior seats, cost £450.
Gold tickets, excluding the signed shirt and meeting Wayne, are £225 while the cheapest, at £149, give guests just the dinner and access to the later Q and A with Brown.
The event is billed as the “first time Wayne will appear in Manchester to meet his fans in a live unscripted interview”.
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Rooney, who has four sons with wife Coleen, 35, scored 53 goals for England during his 120 appearances for his country.
He left Man United for Everton in 2017 before moving to the States and Washington to play for DC United in 2018 and then becoming Derby boss in 2020.
The Championship club went into administration last year, losing 12 points, but were then docked a further nine for financial breaches.
Those 21 points mean the East Midlands outfit will almost certainly be relegated — but Rooney has said he will stay with the Rams if they do go down.
Wayne Rooney rules himself out of contention for the vacant Man Utd post More