Dear Deidre on Marriage

GARETH Southgate’s career has been marked by incredible highs and disappointing lows. However, one thing that has remained constant is his wife Alison’s unwavering support.Gareth Southgate has been married to his wife for over 30 yearsCredit: RexThe loved-up pair first met in the 90s when he was a trainee player with Crystal PalaceCredit: AFPThey have three kids together and live in a mansion near HarrogateCredit: Tim StewartThe couple, who have two kids together, have been together for 30 years and are still going strong. She was no doubt in his corner when he decided to quit as England’s manager after eight years in the role.In a statement, he said the position meant “everything” to him and spoke about how he joined the FA to make a change. He also thanked fans for their support.Before making his next move, Gareth, 53, is now settling back into a quiet life with Alison and their kids, who have been by his side throughout his triumphs and tribulations.READ MORE FEATURES She has been credited with helping him relax after intense matches, offering a shoulder to lean on when times get too tough.Here, we look at how their love story developed thanks to a Tesco car park – and a bold ultimatum that could have ended the relationship before it had even blossomed.An awkward startWhen Gareth first met Alson in his early 20s, he played with Crystal Palace as a trainee. She was working in a clothes shop in nearby Croydon.Although he knew he wanted to pursue a relationship with her, he couldn’t pluck up the courage to talk to her at the time as he was not confident about his looks. Most read in Euro 2024In 2020, he explained his struggles in an interview with The Guardian. He said: “It felt like a disaster before I’d even started.”All my peers seemed to so much more streetwise and I was just this kid from the suburbs with goofy teeth. Nothing about me was cool, and I felt like I’d never fit in.”When Gareth first met Alison, he was not confident enough to approach her as he was insecure about his looksCredit: ReutersFor years, Gareth was teased over his appearance, which affected his confidenceThey had to have their first dates in a Tesco car park to ensure her ex wouldn’t find outCredit: Times Newspapers LtdHe had also been teased about his nose for years, contributing to his low confidence.In Gareth’s book Woody & Nord: A Football Friendship, he detailed how he would hang around the shop Alison was working in, pretending to look for clothes. He even enlisted the help of the owner of an Italian restaurant he and Alison both frequented. He acted as the middle man between the pair.After two years, Gareth finally plucked the courage to ask her out. To his disappointment, she was in a relationship and was living with her boyfriend at the time.But when he heard that Alison had broken up with her partner, Gareth swooped in and gave her his number. Fortunately for him, she called that night.During the early stages of their romance, the pair had their dates in the car park of their local Tesco supermarket.This was reporetedly to ensure Alison’s ex wouldn’t catch wind of her blossoming relationship.Southgate’s England legacy should be celebrated, not torn downBy Tom BarclayGareth Southgate claimed that only winning Sunday’s final would earn England the respect of the footballing world.Spain proved a last-gasp comeback too far in Berlin, but defeat did not change the fact that Southgate’s eight-year transformation put respect back into the world of England football.Critics will pick apart his cautious tactics, his selection choices and his record in the most high-pressurised games – with some legitimacy.Yet what is quickly forgotten is the laughing stock our national side had become before he took over in 2016.A shambolic Euros exit to Iceland that summer had been followed up by Sam Allardyce quitting just one game into his tenure thanks to his pint of wine with undercover reporters.Then came Southgate, with his decency, his humility, his understated eloquence and his vision for a better, different future.He had analysed why England had so often failed in the past, from lack of preparation at penalty shoot-outs to players being bored out of their minds during major tournaments.Southgate took those findings and implemented a culture where players wanted to play for their country again – and it led to back-to-back finals for the first time in our history.Instead of going to war with the media, he opened his doors to them and discovered, shock, horror, that it was met, generally, with support. It did not stop him from being criticised when required – we are no cheerleaders, here – but the vitriol of yesteryear – or today on social media – was largely gone.No manager is perfect and neither was Southgate. We cannot pretend his teams played like those of Pep Guardiola or Jurgen Klopp.But in the fullness of time, his feats will likely be revered because the results speak for themselves.Hopefully his successor can go one step further and bring football home. To do that, they must show respect to what Southgate has created and build on it, rather than rip it down.To read more from Tom Barclay click HERE. Dramatic ultimatumThey married in a low-key ceremony at his parents’ church in Crawley, West SussexCredit: GettyBefore they wed, Alison issued an ultimatum when he was transferred to Aston VillaCredit: RexWhen Gareth was transferred to Aston Villa, Alison supported the move but was not thrilled about the idea of a long-distance relationship.As a result, she issued an ultimatum that could have altered the course of their relationship. She insisted that she move to Birmingham with him or the relationship ends.He agreed, but not everyone was thrilled with the idea. His parents were skeptical about it since they had only met Alison once.Gareth explained: “[They] found it hard to believe that a son who had been so methodical, logical, and weighed up everything would behave so capriciously.”But she was able to prove to them that she was invested in the relationship for the long haul.The pair tied the knot in a small ceremony in Crawley, West Sussex. They married at Gareth’s parents’ local church, a ceremony devoid of the usual hype surrounding high-profile footballers’ weddings.The wedding had to be planned carefully as it was scheduled between the World Cup and the European Championship.Southgate’s England recordHere is a look at Gareth Southgate’s record as England manager.Overall recordGames: 102Wins: 61Draws: 24Losses: 17Goals scored: 213Goals conceded: 72Plush £3.7m padGareth says his family help him deal with the disappointing results on the pitchCredit: instagram/miasouthgateGareth and Alison have two kids – Mia, 24, and Flynn, 20. Their family home is Swinsty Hall, a huge Grade I-listed Elizabethan mansion in Middlesbrough that cost £3.75million. The family have been a huge hit with neighbours who have praised their down-to-earth and relatable demeanour. Alison has consistently supported Gareth’s football career. She has been seen in the stands cheering on his team – despite the fact that she’s not even particularly a football fan.In an interview with the Mail, Gareth’s father said: “Actually, I don’t think Alison likes football very much. Obviously, she has to take an interest because it’s Gareth’s job, and she is always very supportive.”She will sometimes go to Wembley for an international game – but not during the school term because she always puts the children first.”Gareth also credits his family for helping him overcome disappointments on the pitch. He said: “On Saturday evening, our children are not too bothered whether Dad’s team have won or lost. “Neither does Alison fret too much about football, and this is how I like it. Regardless of the result, it is up to me to ensure that no one’s evening is ruined because of things that happened on a football field. “The agonising waits until Alison and the kids are asleep.”Odds on next England bossHere are the latest odds from Ladbrokes:Here are the latest odds from Ladbrokes:Graham Potter – 11/10Eddie Howe – 2/1Mauricio Pochettino – 4/1Jurgen Klopp – 10/1Lee Carsley – 10/1Pep Guardiola – 14/1Ange Postecoglou – 16/1Michael Carrick – 20/1Steven Gerrard – 20/1Thomas Tuchel – 20/1In an with the Evening Standard, he spoke about how his family’s support keeps him grounded.”Over the last couple of weeks I’ve just had a nice time spending it with the family though, and for me that’s important because my kids are 18 and 14, and their development is as important for me as anything else in my life”, he said. “You do have to try to find a balance because my focus inevitably gets drawn towards making this team as successful as we can and driving them to be the best team in the world, but I’m also a dad and a husband.”Rebekah Vardy, who is married to England player Jamie Vardy, praised Gareth for promoting family values within the England squad. She said: “He’s got the right idea of the team mentality. He’s really relaxed with the players and he makes an effort with all of the families. “He really encourages family days after games, which relaxes the players. It brings a bit of normality in.”And it appears that when Alison does not have her hands full with her family and campaigning for human rights, she doubles as Gareth’s stylist.READ MORE SUN STORIESIn May, while talking to GQ about his hair, he said: “I’ll have one more hair cut before we go [to Germany for the Euros], I think, because my hair gets a little bit curly, which I don’t like.”Plus my wife says I haven’t got the features to have it really short.”He has been praised for encouraging the England team to spend more time with their familiesCredit: Paul Edwards – The SunAlison has often been seen in an embrace with Gareth after intense gamesCredit: Rex Features More