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    Chelsea facing HUGE Champions League headache as only THREE of six new signings from £188m transfer binge can play

    CHELSEA’S January spending splurge has left boss Graham Potter facing TWO major selection dilemmas.And even a major squad clear-out in the final days of the winter window will only solve one of them.
    Graham Potter faces two major selection dilemmasCredit: Getty
    Chelsea have made six January signings including Joao FelixCredit: Getty
    Latest signing Noni Madueke could be left out of Chelsea’s Champions League squadCredit: Getty
    The Blues have landed PSV winger Noni Madueke as their SIXTH signing of the mid-season window.
    With the £35million arrival of the English former Spurs trainee, the Chelsea hierarchy will have sanctioned a remarkable £181m transfer outlay since the turn of the year.
    But Champions League rules mean that only THREE of the new recruits can be registered to play in the competition when Chelsea take on Borussia Dortmund in the last 16 next month.
    While Prem rules are different, allowing wholesale squad changes in the mid-season window, Chelsea have to stick to the required eight “home-grown” players and can only register a maximum of 17 overseas stars.
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    That means Potter must confirm a list of exits or have a host of players who are unable to play first-team football for the remainder of the season.
    And the different regulations deployed by Fifa and the Prem will make things even tricker.
    It certainly means hard decisions that will have to be taken when the dust settles on the exact make-up of the Blues squad on February 1.
    Joao Felix, signed on loan from Atletico Madrid, is a certainty to be the first of the chosen trio for Europe.
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    But that would mean Potter having to then add just two from defender Benoit Badiashile, £62m-plus Ukrainian schemer Mykhailo Mudryk, Ivory Coast striker David Datro Fofana, Madueke and £18m Brazilian recruit Andrey Santos, who is more likely to be loaned out for the remainder of the campaign. 
    And even that is not as “simple” as it appears.
    Joao Felix would normally be a straight swap for the stricken Armando Broja, with the Albania striker ruled out for the rest of the campaign.
    But Slough-born Broja, a Chelsea player since joining the club’s set-up as a schoolboy, is on the “B” list of players who were under-21 at the start of the season and, more pertinently, “locally-trained”.
    It could therefore mean he must replace another player – which suggests sales or loans out from the core squad are inevitable.
    Madueke, as an English player, will count as home-grown for the Prem but not for Uefa, which demands at least eight players who spent three years between the ages of 15 and 21 at a club in the same country. He left Spurs for Holland at 16.
    The assumption is that Badiashile will come in for the injury-plagued Wesley Fofana, at least for the Uefa list, as well as Mudryk.
    But that would leave no place for striker Fofana or Madueke, although they have both been signed for the long-term.
    And in the Prem, while under-21 players do not count, Chelsea’s current homegrown list is made up of third-choice keeper Marcus Bettinelli, Reece James, Ben Chilwell, Trevoh Chalabah, Mason Mount, Ruben Loftus-Cheek, Conor Gallagher and Raheem Sterling.
    Effectively, none of them can leave the club unless they are replaced by an English-qualified player.
    So far, only three of the new recruits – Joao Felix, Badiashile and Fofana – have made their Chelsea debuts.
    But the new arrivals – and there is continuing talk of a potential seventh signing, possibly Brighton’s Ecuadorean midfielder Moises Caciedo – mean Potter’s squad currently has 28 senior players, three more than the maximum permitted.
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    Prem rules give a hiatus to those regulations during January, allowing them all to be registered and play.
    But that moratorium ends when the window closes, meaning Potter and the Chelsea board have slightly more than a week to get their outgoings sorted and prevent omitted players having the right under Fifa regulations to move for nothing. More

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    Declan Rice is guaranteed to leave West Ham… and Arsenal and Man Utd are his most logical transfer destinations

    DECLAN RICE has a massive decision to make this summer — and it does not involve  staying at West Ham.Every team in Europe is keen to sign the future England captain at the end of the season, although very few can afford him.
    Manchester United and Arsenal both want to sign Declan Rice this summerCredit: Rex
    But even the handful of clubs who can meet the Hammers’ demands will present a dilemma for Rice as he  considers all his options.
    Because how do you choose when you have got Arsenal, Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool, Newcastle and Manchester City all queueing at your door?
    The fact that West Ham still have an option to extend his contract to 2025 is immaterial.
    Whether they stay in the Premier League or not, they know their best player is leaving. Rice virtually confirmed that last month when he said that he is  desperate to play in the Champions League.
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    Because that ain’t going to happen at West Ham any time in the foreseeable future.
    That’s why he has already rejected an offer of a new EIGHT-YEAR contract from the club who would happily make him their highest paid player in the blink of an eye.
    There are about a dozen players at the London Stadium currently earning more than Rice, including left-back Emerson Palmieri, Ivory Coast winger Max Cornet and reserve keeper Alphonse Areola.
    But that’s often the case with players who have graduated through the academy rather than signing on big money from another club.
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    Yet it’s not about the money for Rice. It’s about competing at the very highest level and squeezing every last drop from his career.
    He will have seen how his 29-year-old England team-mate Harry Kane — who signed for Tottenham way back in 2011 — is still waiting to win his first major trophy at the club after committing himself to a lucrative long-term contract five years ago.
    And he is not going to make the same mistake with West Ham.
    He will also have noted how his pal Jack Grealish, 27, gave up being a big fish in a small pond at Aston Villa to win the Premier League in his very first season with Manchester City.
    So now it is simply a question of which club can offer him the best opportunity to maximise his talent  during the peak years of his career.
    Having just turned 24, he has the potential to become one of the best defensive midfield players in the world over the next decade.
    It was only last April that David Moyes said that West Ham would not consider selling their captain for less than £150million.
    But now the consensus is that he could go for little more than half that amount, particularly if the Hammers are relegated to the Championship.
    Yet with so many serious clubs  wanting his services, there’s plenty of potential for a bidding war taking that fee to British record levels.
    Chelsea, despite having released Rice from their academy at 14, would have no shame in breaking the bank to bring him back.
    But, like Liverpool, there’s every chance that they won’t be able to offer him Champions League football next season, even though the two are the last English clubs to win it.
    City only play with one holding midfielder and already have Rodri and Kalvin Phillips on their books.
    Newcastle are clearly an emerging force and have the resources to outbid anyone if they can secure a top-four finish this season.
    But it’s Arsenal or Erik ten Hag’s United who offer the most logical career path for Rice and, with both clubs apparently on the up, it could be a straight shootout between the resurgent giants this summer.
    Either way, West Ham fans should make the most of their best player while they still can.
    UTD MAY SMELL RAT
    MANCHESTER UNITED fans are understandably excited by the news that ‘Britain’s richest man’ is trying to buy the club from the Glazers.
    The fact that Sir Jim Ratcliffe has been living abroad as a tax exile is not going to curb their enthusiasm.
    Yet financial experts have calculated his personal fortune at £6billion — and the Glazers want at least £5bn.
    That does not leave a lot of spare cash for someone who clearly hates the idea of frittering his money on such avoidable expenses as income tax.
    And after he lost out in the bidding for Chelsea last spring, United should not hold their breath waiting for the takeover.
    GONE POTTY
    CHELSEA manager Graham Potter says they cannot keep trying to spend their way out of trouble or else they will end up with a 30-man squad.
    I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Graham, but the matchday programme for last week’s game against Crystal Palace already listed 33 Blues players.
    And that did not even include the club’s £88million new-boy Mykhailo Mudryk.
    Potter joked he hopes he is still in a job when Mudryk’s remarkable new contract finally expires in 8½ years.
    Good luck with that. Me? I just hope I am still alive in 2031.
    REFFING MAD
    BRITAIN’S top referees have been tying themselves in knots trying to justify Manchester United’s equaliser against neighbours City last week.
    But they’re defending the indefensible because anyone who knows anything about football could see Marcus Rashford was offside and the goal should never have stood.
    And if the laws of the game say differently because he wasn’t interfering with play, then the law is an ass.
    RAMS-FAIL
    SPURS are threatening to issue a lifetime ban to the supporter who kicked Aaron Ramsdale during Sunday’s 2-0 home defeat by Arsenal.
    More than 500 season ticket holders have already claimed responsibility.
    BLATT TO THE FUTURE
    FIFA have claimed five billion people ‘engaged’ with the 2022 World Cup in Qatar.
    What does that even mean?
    But then very little coming out of world football’s governing body makes sense any more.
    According to reports, TV companies covering the winter finals were ordered to show at least one shot of Fifa president Gianni Infantino at every match.
    But they weren’t allowed to film him on his phone, nor below knee height when he was sitting next to any of his dodgy dictator mates in the plush stadiums out in the desert.
    Come back Sepp Blatter, all is (almost) forgiven.
    GARETH FAIL
    A MOVE to rename the Severn Bridge the Gareth Bale Bridge has been KO’d by a House of Lords committee.
    Presumably they were worried the bridge — which connects England and Wales — would be out of action for nine months every year.
    EMMA’S MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
    TENNIS star Emma Raducanu has defended her commitment to the sport by declaring: “I give 200 per cent in everything I do.”
    That probably explains why the British ace, 20, has suffered so many injuries — she’s been trying to do the impossible.
    KAM OFF IT
    ICE skater Kamila Valieva has been cleared by the Russian anti-doping agency — despite her positive test before last year’s Winter Olympics.
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    They announced that although the 16-year-old had taken banned heart medication, she bore ‘no fault or negligence’ for the offence.
    And who could possibly doubt the word of such a trusted organisation? More

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    Chelsea face ‘unpredictable’ FFP future if they fail to qualify for Champions League after £445m transfer spree

    CHELSEA could be set for an “unpredictable” FFP future should they fail to qualify for the Champions League.The Blues have splashed out £445million on 14 new players since last summer.
    Chelsea have spent almost half a billion pounds on players including Raheem SterlingCredit: PA
    Some of the club’s high-earners such as Hakim Ziyech could leave the clubCredit: Getty
    That figure could rise further after the club reportedly agreed on a deal to sign Noni Madueke from PSV for £35m.
    However, should the club fail to qualify for next season’s Champions League they will miss out on vital financial benefits.
    Having struggled during the first half of the season, Chelsea are ten points behind fourth-placed Newcastle.
    Manager Graham Potter’s side will have to turn things around quickly in order to have a chance of reaching Europe’s premium competition.
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    This season the club are set to earn an estimated £81m from TV money, should they beat Borussia Dortmund and reach the round of 16.
    However, failure to qualify for the European tournament next year could be damaging to the club’s finances, according to the Swiss Ramble.
    The Premier League’s FFP rules state that clubs are allowed to lose £105m in a rolling three-year period.
    However, there are adjustments for money spent on the club’s infrastructure on things such as the academy, community project and women’s teams.
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    Allowances have also been made to clubs as a result of the impact Covid-19 caused due to lack of matchday revenue.
    Although UEFA has different rules as clubs are only allowed to lose £53m over three years.
    Chelsea do have some factors in their favour as many of the players that have joined are on long contracts which helps spread the cost.
    The club have also been reportedly interested in cutting some of its high-earners, such as Hakim Ziyech, Christian Pulisic and Kai Havertz.
    While Jorginho is also likely to leave as his contract expires at the end of the current season. More

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    Man Utd Treble winner unrecognisable as he wins MasterChef sporting flowing grey ponytail

    A MANCHESTER UNITED treble winner looks completely unrecognisable decades on from his days at Old Trafford and is now a MasterChef winner.Sir Alex Ferguson led his Red Devils to the Premier League, FA Cup and Champions League in a remarkable fortnight nearly 24 years ago.
    The Man Utd legend won MasterChef in SwedenCredit: Instagram @jesperblomqvistofficial
    He beat TV personality Karl FredriksCredit: Instagram @jesperblomqvistofficial
    The names that immediately spring to mind from that side are the likes of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Teddy Sheringham, David Beckham, Roy Keane and Paul Scholes.
    But one man who many may have forgotten is a Swedish midfielder.
    He made 25 Premier League appearances in that momentous season and also collected an FA Cup winners medal despite being an unused substitute in the final.
    The ex-footie ace then started the Champions League final against Bayern Munich before being taken off for Teddy Sheringham – who would go on to score the equalising goal.
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    Shortly after United’s European triumph the Swede suffered a serious knee injury and never played for the club again.
    And Man Utd fans may find it incredibly difficult to recognise him these days as he looks completely different to when he was gracing the Old Trafford pitch more than two decades ago.
    The mystery footballer can be revealed as… Jesper Blomqvist.
    Blomqvist is rocking a ponytail, beard, and does not possess the vibrant blonde hair he once had as a player.
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    Blomqvist was a part of United’s legendary Treble-winning teamCredit: Reuters
    Ferguson signed him from Parma ahead of the 1998-99 campaignCredit: PA:Press Association
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    MasterChef? No problem.
    The footie star-turned-cook won the competition beating TV personality Karl Fredriks.
    On his win, he said on Instagram: “What a lovely competitor I had on the other side of the kitchen table in @karlfredrik.se and what an exciting final it was.
    “Even though I knew the result, I got all sweaty watching it on TV.
    “Incredibly happy, grateful and humble for the win, know that you Karl-Fredrik might as well have won, it was an incredibly tough & even final.
    “The whole production has been amazingly funny, educational but also tough.
    “Then it helps to have such awesome competitors, jury members and the rest of the recording team who supports, pepper and spurs 🙏💪🙌 thank you all for a wonderful adventure🙏❤️🙏❤️.”
    What’s more, after a brief attempt at management, he found a new passion as he runs his own pizzeria.
    Speaking to The Telegraph about his new life previously, he said: “I have to say it is tough when people ask me in the beginning, ‘What are you doing?’ And I say, ‘I have a pizzeria’. It was tough that people look down at you.
    “Then I have to explain it’s the best pizzeria! Now I don’t care. People seem to be saying, ‘Are you down there? Have you lost all your money?’ I couldn’t care less.
    “I can understand it and feel it myself. It’s not a problem. It’s just me who has to work with myself. Footballers have been very spoiled. It’s very easy to lose perspective and to get carried away and this money can destroy players.
    “It’s the way it is, you have to learn to handle it and it’s difficult. I am so happy I was brought up in the north of Sweden where you keep your feet on the ground and you have to work hard.”
    Blomqvist, 48, also explained why he decided to pack in management after just two years – where he coached Swedish sides Enkoping and Hammarby IF.
    “Putting the team in front and not taking into consideration the human being behind the player – for me, that was the toughest challenge,” he added.
    “I tend to look more at the human being. Ferguson was good at that. When it comes to winning games you can’t care about the human being.
    “You have to be ruthless and sometimes I missed that. That’s my nature and it is hard to change.”
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    Blomqvist was back in a United shirt last summer.
    He joined up with several other familiar names to line-up for Man Utd Legends against their Liverpool counterparts – but they suffered a 3-1 defeat to the Reds.
    He now has his own pizzeria having gone into the industry after a brief stint managing in football
    The ex-footie star now looks a much-changed man years on from that iconic Man Utd seasonCredit: Getty Images – Getty
    Here he is with fellow ex-Man Utd player Mikael SilvestreCredit: Instagram @jesperblomqvistofficial More

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    Ultimate combined XI from Wenger’s Arsenal Invincibles and Man Utd’s 2008 Champions League-winning heroes

    ARSENAL welcome Manchester United to the Emirates this weekend with both in the race for the Premier League title.The Gunners are sat top of the Premier League after 18 games, picking up 47 points.
    Arsenal’s Invincibles achieved legendary status back in 2004Credit: Getty
    Manchester United’s 2008 Champions League-winning squad was stacked with qualityCredit: PA
    Here’s the best combined XI that we have chosen
    Both Manchester clubs are trailing by eight points, but United can close the gap to five with a win on Sunday.
    During the heyday of Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger, the two teams would be regularly battling it out for the Prem title.
    In fact, for nine consecutive years from 1996 the trophy belonged exclusively to the both of them.
    Arsenal won it for the first time under Wenger in 1998 and lifted it another two times under the Frenchman.
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    But undoubtedly their greatest – and last – title-winning campaign occurred in 2004.
    With Thierry Henry leading their star-studded side, the Gunners incredibly went the whole campaign unbeaten, leading to them being dubbed ‘The Invincibles’ by fans and pundits.
    However, one thing they failed to do under Wenger was conquer Europe.
    They did manage to reach the 2006 Champions League final, but they suffered defeat to Barcelona.
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    But Fergie did manage to win it twice during his long-stay at Old Trafford, the first occurring in the 1999 treble season.
    He followed that up with success over Chelsea in the 2008 final after a dramatic penalty shoot-out.
    Both Arsenal’s Invincibles and United’s Champions League winning squad from ‘08 were stacked with quality.
    But ahead of the latest Arsenal vs Man Utd clash at the Emirates, we decided to try and pick an XI out of both sets of players from those eras.
    Jens Lehmann was in goal for Arsenal, but we’ve opted for United’s Dutchman Edwin van der Sar.
    Ashley Cole gets the nod over Patrice Evra at left-back, while his former Gunners team-mate Lauren is in on the right.
    An all-English centre-back pairing of Sol Campbell and Rio Ferdinand would take some stopping, especially with ex-Arsenal captain Patrick Vieira protecting them in midfield.
    With United legend Paul Scholes alongside him, there would also be plenty of ammunition for the vast array of attacking talents.
    Robert Pires was almost unstoppable for the Gunners back then, and he is almost impossible to leave out – despite the greatness of Ryan Giggs.
    You also have to find a way to fit in Cristiano Ronaldo, and as he was playing winger back then rather than forward, we’ve squeezed him in on the right.
    Then it comes to picking the forwards and we feel almost guilty for leaving out Arsenal’s fantastic Dutchman Dennis Bergkamp.
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    The same can be said of United’s 2008 hero Carlos Tevez – but Wayne Rooney just edges it to line-up with Henry up front.
    And whether you agree or not, we reckon even the second-string that we have assembled below would still be big favourites to win the league if they were together in their pomp. 
    This second string would still mount a serious title challenge More

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    Wolves vs Liverpool ‘porn noise’ culprit found as serial pitch invader Daniel Jarvis claims responsibility for TV prank

    A YOUTUBE comedian has owned up being the culprit behind ‘porn noises’ being heard during the BBC’s FA Cup coverage. Viewers were left stunned as erotic moaning was heard while Gary Lineker attempted to host coverage of Wolves and Liverpool’s FA Cup replay.
    Gary Lineker was caught on the wrong end of the prank and struggled to keep a straight faceCredit: BBC
    The prankster used a hidden phone to emit the noiseCredit: Jarvo69 aka BMWJarvo
    This Youtube comedian managed to cause chaos in the BBC studioCredit: Jarvo69 aka BMWJarvo
    The popular TV host struggled to keep a straight face as he spoke to pundit Alan Shearer while the strange noises continued to invade the studio.
    Now an online prankster has claimed credit for the stunt.
    The Youtuber Jarvo69, whose real name is Daniel Jarvis, hosted a live stream as he hijacked the BBC’s coverage.
    Jarvis has a long history of big stunts during sports events, and once even invaded the stage on the X Factor in 2016.
    He proudly announces at the beginning of the video: “Here we are, we have set up a phone with a loud sex noise in the BBC studios at the Wolves v Liverpool FA Cup replay.”
    Jarvis watches the coverage with his phone held carefully in hand, waiting for the moment to pull off his practical joke.
    Coverage begins and while Lineker discussing the game with Paul Ince and Danny Murphy, the prankster is on the phone receiving instructions on when to trigger the sex noises.
    He then calls the hidden phone in the BBC studio, which appeared to have a ringtone of the sex noises uploaded onto it.
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    Jarvis celebrates after successfully getting one over the BeebCredit: Jarvo69 aka BMWJarvo
    Gary Lineker revealed on Twitter that he found the phone at the centre of the prankCredit: @GaryLineker
    The comedian can then hardly contain his glee when the loud and disruptive noises burst into the studio and eventually breaks into celebration.
    Lineker and Shearer desperately try and stay professional as the groans and moans continue.
    Almost 4,000 people viewed the livestream and the moment quickly went viral.
    Lineker lated posted a picture of the phone and tweeted: “Well, we found this taped to the back of the set. As sabotage goes, it was quite amusing.”
    Jarvis responded to the tweet with the message: “It was me.”
    Reading manager Paul Ince was providing punditry just as sex noises were being pumped into the studioCredit: Jarvo69 aka BMWJarvo
    He has also now posted a short video to Twitter showing himself in the Beeb studio before coverage began.
    He wrote: “Yes, it was me that pranked the BBC Match of the Day with the sex phone. The video coming soon!!!! Best prankster ever!!!”
    Jarvis has 174,000 Youtube subscribes and has form when it comes to high-profile football pranks.
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    He has previously uploaded a video to Twitter showing him sneaking onto the pitch after the Champions League Final last year.
    The prankster managed to hug Vinicius Junior and Eder Militao after getting by security by donning a Real Madrid shirt. More

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    Arsenal and Man Utd’s seasons have been thrilling tales of the unexpected thanks to Liverpool collapse and Man City slip

    IT’S the end of the world as we know it — and it’s extraordinarily good fun.At the halfway stage of the Premier League season, the state of the nation is a state of unprecedented flux.
    Arsenal are flying high at the top of the Premier League tableCredit: AFP
    Manchester United are resurgent under Erik Ten HagCredit: Reuters
    Three of England’s four Champions League places look very likely to change hands.
    Three fully-established top-flight clubs occupy the relegation places — West Ham, Southampton and Everton, an ever-present since 1954.
    Fulham, Brighton and Brentford all sit proudly in the top eight, above Liverpool and Chelsea.
    Arsenal and Manchester United could face off on Sunday as the top two in the league, with Newcastle tucked in behind them as if it’s 1997 all over again.
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    This wasn’t supposed to happen. Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City and Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool were meant to be continuing their duopoly — two truly great teams dominating the English game as they’d done for the previous five years.
    And while the resurgence of Arsenal under Mikel Arteta and United under Erik ten Hag have been thrilling tales of the unexpected, neither would be sitting so loftily without the collapse of one empire and the alarming cracks beginning to show in another.
    Suddenly, both Liverpool and City have lost a lot of what made them so great.
    Liverpool are no longer dynamic, manic pressing, never-knowingly-beaten “mentality monsters”.
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    And City aren’t quite the pass-you-to-death, liquid-football, Barcelona-built model we are used to.
    For Klopp, it feels terminal. For Guardiola, it is too early to say.
    But both managers have lost their sense of permanence, both teams their aura of near-invincibility.
    Liverpool have clocked up 92 points or more in three of the past four seasons — the only exception being the freakish behind-closed doors 2020-21 campaign when all of their senior central defenders suffered long-term injuries. This season they are on target for less than 60.
    Klopp’s side have been humped at Brentford and Brighton in their last two league games, with the German finally running out of daft excuses and admitting Saturday’s visit to the Amex was the worst performance he had ever presided over.
    Before the World Cup, Klopp spoke reasonably — but tellingly — about the impossibility of competing financially with clubs funded by nation states, City and Newcastle.
    It sounded like the time when Bayern Munich nabbed one too many of his Borussia Dortmund players and he finally realised that, after two Bundesliga titles, he was fighting a losing battle in German football and quit his former club.
    Cracks are starting to appear for Pep Guardiola at Manchester CityCredit: Getty
    Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool have collapsed this season, most recently at BrightonCredit: AP
    Yet it is not just City and Newcastle that Klopp’s men are failing to compete with — the Reds are 19 points adrift of an Arsenal side with a significantly lower wage bill.
    Liverpool, built on athleticism, stamina and mental fortitude, have suddenly grown old and tired, as has Klopp himself.
    And now you genuinely would not be surprised if he left Anfield this summer, an eventuality which seemed unthinkable when his side came close to completing the Quadruple eight months ago.
    City, second in the table and the highest scorers in the top flight, are in nowhere near as bad a state — but the signing of Erling Haaland has weirdly destabilised them.
    On the surface it seems ludicrous that a team which won back-to-back titles without a regular, authentic centre-forward should decline after signing the most prolific striker of the Premier League era.
    But City’s best recent performance, and certainly their most typically Pep-ish display, was the 4-0 FA Cup hammering of Chelsea, which Haaland sat out.
    Guardiola may have been sulky and sarcastic in the wake of Saturday’s Manchester derby defeat at Old Trafford when he claimed “I don’t care” whether City win the title because they had “won it a lot”.
    When the mighty fall, as Liverpool and City have done, the chaos can be glorious.Dave Kidd
    City’s focus, even more so than usual, is on winning the Champions League —  especially with England’s other three representatives, Liverpool, Chelsea and Tottenham, all in disarray.
    But Guardiola’s team are often struggling to play to Haaland’s strengths and, after last week’s deserved League Cup defeat at rock-bottom Southampton, Ilkay Gundogan made the stark admission that City’s players were lacking “hunger and desire”.
    All in all, the problems of City and Liverpool add to the gaiety of the nation.
    For too long, the Premier League — while offering thrilling one-off matches — had too predictable a table.
    Now, with English football’s financial might allowing smaller Premier League clubs to compete financially with major European powers in the transfer market, there is far greater potential for unpredictability.
    No fixture can be taken for granted. Brentford have beaten both Manchester clubs and Liverpool, while Brighton have defeated United, Liverpool and Chelsea.
    Run your club as well as the Bees or the Seagulls, and you can thrive.
    Spend your riches badly, like Everton or Chelsea, and you will struggle.
    When Leicester won the title in 2016, it may have been the unlikeliest story in ­football history but it was only possible because most of the Big Six were in transition or turmoil.
    For when the mighty fall, as Liverpool and City have done, the chaos can be glorious.
    This is a season to cherish because we haven’t got the slightest clue what will happen next.
    Everton fans’ banners weren’t going to trouble the Poet LaureateCredit: PA
    C-RHYME WATCH
    THE violent intimidation tactics of Everton supporters forced board members to stay away from Saturday’s loss to Southampton.
    But even worse were the appalling nursery-level rhymes on the protestors’ banners at Goodison Park.
    As Rik Mayall’s Lord Flashheart, surely a closet Evertonian, said in Blackadder Goes Forth: “I’m sick of this damned war — the mud, the noise, the endless poetry…”
    BIG GUNNS AGAIN
    THERE’S fury among Arsenal fans after their side was charged with “failing to control players” twice in the space of a week — after confronting referees mob-handed in matches against Newcastle and Oxford.
    But we know they love it really — because you can only hold a proper persecution complex if you know you’re big enough and relevant enough to be persecuted.
    And Arsenal are big and relevant again.

    LUKE AND LEARN
    EARLIER in the season, we all speculated on whether a centre-half in the entire Premier League could keep Erling Haaland quiet.
    Erik ten Hag decided the answer was to play Luke Shaw in central defence, in front of three experienced international specialists in that position.
    Unlike the other bald bloke in a roll-neck sweater managing in Manchester, when Ten Hag “over-thinks” things, it actually seems to work.
    CAR-TOON VILLAINS
    THERE was some surprise Eddie Howe selected Joelinton to play for Newcastle against Fulham days after being arrested and charged with drink-driving.
    As if a manager happy to take Saudi blood money could worry too much over morality.
    A huge banner of Howe unfurled at St James’ Park on Sunday read, “We’re not here to be popular, we’re here to compete”.
    After years as a comedy club, the Geordies are fully embracing villainy.
    BLUE MURDER
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    Champions League streaker Kinsey Wolanksi launches OnlyFans account four years after going viral with raunchy antics

    AMERICAN influencer and streaker Kinsey Wolanski has launched her own OnlyFans account.The 26-year-old grabbed the attention of the footballing world when she ran on to the pitch during the 2019 Champions League final.
    Kinsey Wolanski has started her own OnlyFans pageCredit: Instagram @kinsey_sue
    She was the streaker at the 2019 Champions League finalCredit: Getty
    Wolanski was wearing a black v-shaped swimsuit and nothing else as she stormed on the pitch alongside Liverpool and Tottenham’s players.
    Harry Winks is believed to have seen an eyeful as she was caught right in front of the English midfielder.
    Following her antics, she had to spend a night in jail.
    Now, four years on, she has launched her own raunchy OnlyFans account.
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    Since the stunt, the influencer admitted that it was a way of promoting her partner’s adult website.
    She has also seen her online platform grow massively as she now boosts 3.6million followers on Instagram.
    Wolanski was asked by a fan if she had an account on the adult platform during a Q&A on Instagram and now she does.
    The bio of the page says: “Life is living, so why not?”
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    She often posts images of her life on the Instagram platform including snaps from holidays and of her piloting a helicopter.
    The influencer recently visited the Galapagos Islands and posed for some pictures alongside the wildlife that the island has to offer.
    She has since seen her online following growCredit: Instagram
    Wolanski now boosts 3.6 million followers on InstagramCredit: Instagram @kinsey_sue
    Her fans will now be able to see even more of her More