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      Thomas Muller is football’s funniest man, from pranking Bayern Munich team-mates to fooling around with his horse, Dave

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      STAND up for the funniest man in football…
      When Thomas Muller isn’t banging in goals for Bayern Munich, the German forward is making us laugh.

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      Thomas Muller loves to play the class clown at Bayern MunichCredit: Instagram @esmuellert

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      Muller has signed a contract extension that will keep him at Bayern until 2023Credit: Getty Images – Getty
      Earlier this year, Muller, 30, put pen to paper on a two-year contract extension that’ll keep him at Bayern till 2023.
      And he immediately played a starring role as the Bundesliga champions reached the Champions League final – where they will take on PSG looking for their first European trophy since 2013.
      On signing the new contract, Muller revealed: “This club is not just any old employer for me. It’s my passion.
      “I’m happy that I’ll be here for two extra years, and I’ll give everything on and off the pitch.”

      And you don’t doubt that. Married to professional horse trainer Lisa, he also owns a nag called Dave, loves dressing up in Lederhosen and is always clowning around.
      If that’s not enough, he’s calls himself the title of managing director of carrots because of his horse stable, and his madcap antics keep him and his teammates entertained.
      HE LOVES FANCY DRESS
      Come October, and those brilliant pictures Bayern Munich share of their players enjoying the annual Bavarian beer festival, look out for Muller.
      You’ll find him dressed to the nines in traditional Lederhosen, pretending to down beers and joshing with his team-mates.

      He’s always got a smile on his face and isn’t afraid to dance Gangnam Style. See below!
      And since we’re speaking of beer, Thomas once poured a cold one over German TV presenter Markus Othmer after winning the 2014 title.

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      Thomas Muller loves dressing up during OktoberfestCredit: Getty – Contributor

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      Thomas Muller enjoys Oktoberfest with wife Lisa MullerCredit: AFP – Getty
      [embedded content]

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      Thomas Muller drenches TV presenter Markus Othmer in beerCredit: Getty – Contributor

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      Thomas Muller does love to waste a good pintCredit: Getty – Contributor
      HORSING AROUND
      A notorious prankster, Muller doesn’t have a horse called Star or Spirit or Lucky… he’s opted for the common human name Dave instead.
      His missus has her own stables, which Muller calls himself the managing director of carrots at because Bayern permit him from riding.
      Muller regularly attends events his dressage rider other half competes in and loves spending time with Dave.
      “I come here to watch if everything’s fine,” he once replied when asked why he loves horses.
      “And for the carrots. I’m the managing director of carrots! I watch the dogs. Sometimes I help a little bit but it’s her business.
      “I enjoy it a lot. They make me feel comfortable, the attitude and what they look like and (the way they) live their lives.
      “It’s fun. It’s easy to relax around horses.” Absolutely a-neigh-zing.

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      Thomas Muller loves to horse around with his nag DaveCredit: Instagram @esmuellert

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      Thomas Muller regularly attends equestrian events in Munich with DaveCredit: Rex Features

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      Lisa Muller rides Dave at the Munich Indoors FEI Horse Show Jumping eventCredit: Rex Features
      FORGET THE TRANSFER TALK
      Thomas knows the best way to avoid those pesky transfer rumours… and it’s a take on the old mobile phone trick.
      Celebrities around the globe know the best way to avoid questions from reporters when leaving an airport is to pretend you’re on a call.
      Thomas took that one-step further, fooling us into thinking his passport was his mobile when he walked through a Munich terminal.
      Reporters tried to ask if he was moving to Manchester United, but Muller couldn’t hear them with his passport pressed up against his ear.
      Brilliant stuff from the German.

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      Thomas Muller found a novel way of avoiding questions from reportersCredit: Sky Sports

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      Thomas Muller avoided answering rumours he was moving to Man UnitedCredit: Sky Sports

      Bayern Munich forward Thomas Muller scores delightful chip against Borussia Dortmund

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      Thomas Muller is the joker in the pack at Bayern MunichCredit: Instagram @esmuellert
      HE KNOWS HIS AUDIENCE
      The jester of Bavaria knows exactly how to get a crowd going – and we mean that literally.
      The scene was set, it was a crunch Champions League quarter-final tie against Porto in 2015.
      Needing a 2-0 win, Bayern dismantled the Portuguese giants 6-1 in a thrilling blowout to win 7-4 on aggregate.
      Afterwards, the players saluted their faithful fans who were in fine voice.
      Realising his opportunity, Thomas ran straight into the crowd and grabbed a megaphone from one of the fans.
      He led the celebrations and chants, much to the delight of the home crowd and his teammates couldn’t hide their smiles.
      He’s repeated the trick since, doing the same against Juventus in 2016 following an impressive win.

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      Thomas Muller grabs the mic to serenade the home fans after beating PortoCredit: Getty – Contributor

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      Thomas Muller leads the Bayern Munich faithful with a songCredit: Getty – Contributor

      Thomas Muller welcomes baby foal called Gameday as Bayern Munich star’s horse stable continues to grow
      A COMEDIC TROLL TO HIS TEAM-MATES
      The prankster once teased Mario Gotze during a TV interview for wearing the wrong jersey the last time he won a Bundesliga before joining Bayern.
      He purposefully fell over during a pre-orchestrated free kick routine for Germany.
      And Muller also told a reporter he would wipe his backside with his Golden Boot trophy following Germany’s 2014 World Cup win.
      If you’re still not convinced of his comic prowess, watch the video below.

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      Thomas Muller enjoys playing pranks on his teammatesCredit: Instagram @esmuellert
      [embedded content]
      BUT THEY’RE NOT ALL WINNERS…
      Muller was in jovial mood after Bayern Munich’s thumping win over Barcelona.
      But his attempt at a joke left the assembled media unamused.
      Speaking after his side’s triumph, he said: “We at Bayern have Robert LewanGOALski.”
      Seemingly confused that journalists weren’t rolling in the aisles at his brilliant play on words, he repeated: “You know, Robert LewanGOALski.”
      But as much as Muller thought it was a side splitter of a pun, he didn’t quite get the reaction he wanted with the room remaining deathly silent.

      Thomas Muller cracks awful Robert ‘LewanGOALski’ joke after Bayern win More

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      Real Madrid star Reinier Jesus, 18, joins Dortmund on two-year loan transfer to link up with Sancho and Bellingham

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      REAL MADRID youngster Reinier Jesus has joined Borussia Dortmund on a two-year loan deal.
      The 18-year-old is yet to feature for Los Blancos’ first team but will hope to get some top flight minutes under his belt with the Bundesliga side.

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      Real Madrid youngster Reinier Jesus has signed for Borussia Dortmund on a two-year loan deal
      The Brazilian will join up with his new team-mates – including Jadon Sancho and Jude Bellingham – after they returned from pre-season training in Switzerland this week.
      Both Dortmund and Jesus tweeted to announce the news.
      The German club wrote: “Borussia Dortmund borrows @ReinierJesus_19 for the next two seasons from @realmadrid.”

      And Jesus posted: “Today I start another challenge in my life! Thank you @BVB for the opportunity to wear that shirt!”

      There was no room for Jesus at Real as their three non-EU spots were taken up by his countrymen Vinicius, Rodrygo and Eder Militao.
      He started three times for Madrid’s reserves in February and March.
      And the playmaker bagged three goals in that time before Spain’s Segunda B season was abandoned due to the coronavirus pandemic.
      Madrid signed Jesus from Flamengo in January.

      The Spanish giants forked out £25.6million to sign him on a six-year deal which expires on June 30 2026.
      After he joined, Madrid described him as “one of the leading emerging stars in the world”.
      And Jesus broke down in tears of joy when the deal went through.
      The 18-year-old was touted around Europe’s top clubs after helping Flamengo win the Copa Libertadores and the Brazilian top flight last season.
      Reinier said at the time: “I want to be a part of the history of this great club.
      “Today is a very happy day for me as I get to fulfil a childhood dream.”

      Reinier had been on international duty with the Brazilian Under-23s, helping them in Tokyo 2020 pre-Olympic qualifying, before being unveiled as a Real Madrid player.
      Earlier this season, the cheeky youngster was caught publicly flirting with a volleyball player on Instagram.
      The attacking midfielder was the third Brazilian teenager to join the Spanish giants in the past two years following Vinicius Junior and Rodrygo.

      Premier League rocked by 14 new coronavirus cases at 12 pre-season camps with fears over players holidaying together More

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      Newcastle dealt transfer blow with ‘Borussia Monchengladbach on the brink of signing Inter Milan star Valentino Lazaro’

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      NEWCASTLE have been dealt a huge blow in their quest to turn Valentino Lazaro’s loan spell from Inter Milan into a permanent stay.
      The 24-year-old is reportedly closing in on a return to the Bundesliga with Borussia Monchengladbach set to confirm his signing.

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      German side Borussia Monchengladbach are set to sign Valentino Lazaro on loanCredit: Getty Images – Getty
      SunSport exclusively revealed in May how the Magpies were looking to complete the permanent signing of Lazaro.

      But the move depended on whether their Saudi-backed takeover be approved by the Premier League.
      And after the consortium pulled out of the £300million deal, Lazaro is now primed for another loan move away from the San Siro.
      According to Rheinische Post, Monchengladbach are set to announce the signing of Lazaro on a season-long loan in the coming days.

      They state that the German outfit will have the option of being able to turn the deal permanent for £18m.
      Monchengladbach are believed to have beaten Bayer Leverkusen to the signature of the ex-Hertha Berlin forward.
      Lazaro scored twice in 15 games in all competitions for Newcastle, though he was mainly used as an impact player of the bench.

      According to The Chronicle, Lazaro is desperate for regular game time as he looks to be involved in next summers European Championship.

      His representatives are said to not have had contact with the Magpies about extending his stay at St James’ Park.
      And they state that it is now too late for Newcastle to strike a deal with Lazaro as he edges closer to joining Monchengladbach.

      Micky Quinn questions why Newcastle Saudi Arabian bidders were put under such scrutiny compared to other club’s owners More

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      The Best Fifa Football Awards 2020 set to go ahead, claims Bayern chief with Robert Lewandowski on course to win

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      FIFA’S The Best awards are set to go ahead this year, claims Bayern Munich’s chairman.
      France Football announced in July the Ballon d’Or has been scrapped for 2020 due to the coronavirus crisis.

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      Bayern Munich chairman Karl-Heinz Rummenigge reckons Fifa will put on their The Best awards, won by Lionel Messi last time, for 2020Credit: Getty – Contributor
      But Bayern chief Karl-Heinz Rummenigge insists Fifa’s president Gianni Infantino is planning for the governing body’s version of the award to go ahead as usual.
      Rummenigge told Kicker: “According to a statement by the President of Fifa, this award should take place.
      “Gianni Infantino told me that the award should be given to the best player, the best goalkeeper and the best coach. That is very welcome.”
      The prestigious best men’s player gong – now in its fifth year – was won by Cristiano Ronaldo in 2016 and 2017 before Luka Modric and then Lionel Messi.

      And Rummenigge has a particular interest in this year’s awards being handed out… because Robert Lewandowski is the favourite – just as he was for the Ballon d’Or.
      The Bayern Munich and Poland striker, 31, has been in sensational form this year.
      He has 54 goals for the season so far, with potentially two matches still to go – Bayern face Lyon in the Champions League semi-finals.
      That figure includes 24 in 2020 alone, despite a three-month suspension to the season.

      It’s a disgrace that they have taken the Ballon d’Or away for this year.
      Rio Ferdinand

      BT Sport pundit Rio Ferdinand even joked Lewandowski should start a petition to get the annual awards on this year.
      The Ballon d’Or was axed due to the “lack of sufficient fair conditions” with some seasons being cut short, matches played behind closed doors and five substitutions.
      Ferdinand said: “If I’m Lewandowski and they have cancelled the Ballon d’Or, I’m starting up a petition to get it back on.

      “I can’t believe they have cancelled it. It’s cruel. Lewandowski deserves to win that award for what he has done this season and if he leads Bayern Munich to the Champions League and they still decide they won’t give it out to him, it’s not right.
      “I think it’s a disgrace that they have taken it away for this year.
      “Why can’t they give the award out, even if they don’t have a big ceremony to hand it over like they normally do? I think it’s really out of order.”

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      Robert Lewandowski is the favourite for Fifa’s The Best award if it goes ahead following his stunning year with Bayern MunichCredit: Getty – Pool

      Robert Lewandowski shows off his remarkable skills hitting bottle off fan’s head More

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      Jadon Sancho posts showboating clip from Dortmund pre-season… while Man Utd are losing to Sevilla in Europa League

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      JADON SANCHO produced a juicy piece of skill during a thumping Borussia Dortmund pre-season win.
      And then he shared the showboating clip just as Manchester United crashed out of the Europa League to Sevilla.

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      Jadon Sancho pulled out a brilliant piece of skill during Borussia Dortmund’s 11-2 pre-season win on SundayCredit: Instagram @bvb09

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      The Englishman then shared the video on social media during Manchester United’s defeat to SevillaCredit: Instagram @bvb09

      The England winger and Manchester United transfer target, 20, turned the Austria Wien defender inside out with the tasty move.
      Cutting in off the right wing, he rolled the ball with the bottom of his right foot into his left then knocked it past the left-back .
      Sancho then ran around him the other way, collecting the ball and setting it back for a team-mate.
      The ball eventually broke for Emre Can who put it back in the mixer for Marius Wolf to stab home.

      Wolf’s goal made it 7-2 on Sunday afternoon in the pre-season friendly, which Dortmund went on to win 11-2.
      Ten different goalscorers found the net, including Sancho, but a lot of the love was coming in for the Three Lions star’s trickery.
      Dortmund described their man as “undressing” the opponent and then added: “Oh. My. Days.”
      One fan said: “Too much sauce!”

      Another added: “Sancho tweeting while his future banter club is losing.”
      But a final user commented: “Can’t wait until he does that in red next season.”

      However, while Sancho was posting clips of him tearing defenders to shreds, United lost a third cup semi-final of the season.
      The Red Devils missed Dortmund’s August 10 transfer deadline for Sancho after failing to meet the Bundesliga club’s £108million asking price.
      The Germans insist they will not sell this summer and their player will represent the club next season.

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      The winger then ran the other way around the defender to chase on to the ballCredit: Instagram @bvb09

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      He pulled it back and eventually the ball fell to Marius Wolf who stuck it inCredit: Instagram @bvb09

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      Man Utd could face bidding war for Jadon Sancho as Dortmund hope to delay transfer until next summer More

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      Jadon Sancho and Jude Bellingham on the scoresheet as Borussia Dortmund beat Austria Wien 11-2 in pre-season friendly

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      ENGLISH duo Jadon Sancho and Jude Bellingham both got on the scoresheet as Borussia Dortmund romped past Austria Wien 11-2.
      The pair were both drawn from the bench at half time by boss Lucien Favre, as the Frenchman sought to give as many of his players minutes as possible as they step up their pre-season preparations.

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      Jadon Sancho got down to business as Borussia Dortmund smashed Austria Wien 11-2Credit: Getty Images – Getty

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      Jude Bellingham netted for the first time in yellowCredit: Getty Images – Getty
      And both smashed shots past the hapless opposition goalkeeper Patrick Pentz, as Austria Wien fell apart.
      Favre will be especially pleased with the exercise, given that ten different players managed to get themselves on the scoresheet.
      Bellingham’s fellow 17-year-old prodigy Gio Reyna, also born in England, got his side off to a flyer with just nine minutes played when he slid Dortmund into an early lead.
      And Reyna made it 2-0 shortly after, when he converted following Manuel Akanji’s smart backheel.

      Austria Wien briefly threatened to make a game of it, when Christoph Monschein pulled one back with 33 minutes on the clock.
      But his goal appeared to only prod the beast, with Raphael Guerreiro and teenager Immanuel Pherai making it 4-1 at the break.
      A raft of substitutes, including Sancho, Bellingham and former Liverpool star Emre Can entered the field at half time, and there would be no laying off their wounded opponents.

      Sancho himself made it five, seven minutes into the second half, before Austria Wien, the side with the most titles in Austrian Bundesliga history, pulled another back for 5-2.

      Their punishment was only just getting started, however, with Can, Marius Wolff and Thorgan Hazard all getting in on the act, before Bellingham hit the net for the first time in a black and yellow jersey.
      Taylan Durman and Nico Schulz then rounded off the pre-season pummelling.
      NATURAL PERFORMER
      Former Birmingham City teen Bellingham appears to be having no problems settling in at his new club, having had his team-mates in stitches during his initiation song yesterday.
      The midfielder attempted a rendition of Ne-Yo’s “So Sick”, with Sancho, Raphael Guerreiro and Dan-Axel Zagadou in complete hysterics.

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      Dortmund ruthlessly swept 11 past Austria WienCredit: Getty Images – Getty

      Sancho, meanwhile, appears to be putting speculation surrounding a move to Manchester United behind him as he focuses on getting ready for the 2020-21 Bundesliga season.
      The Red Devils privately remain hopeful of signing the 20-year-old, but Dortmund are so far refusing to budge after United failed to put together an acceptable package by their deadline.
      And far from sulking, Sancho appears to be having a whale of a time as he bonds with his team-mates on the pre-season trip.

      Neil Custis does not feel that Jack Grealish is a better player than Sancho for Man Utd More

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      Turning down Man Utd was ‘not hard’, says Bellingham after leaving Dortmund pals in stitches with awful initiation song

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      JUDE BELLINGHAM claims it wasn’t a hard decision to leave Birmingham for Borussia Dortmund – despite being chased by Manchester United.
      The teenage midfielder, 17, left boyhood club Birmingham for the German giants in a £25million move last month.

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      Jude Bellingham says he has no regrets about rejecting Man Utd for Borussia DortmundCredit: Getty Images – Getty
      Bellingham has already played in two games for Dortmund, scoring in Sunday’s 11-2 win against Austria Wien.
      And the English ace looks set to have a bright future in his new surroundings after starting German lessons.
      But before Dortmund made the deal official, Bellingham continued to be linked with Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s Red Devils.
      It was reckoned United wanted Bellingham to link up with Bruno Fernandes and Paul Pogba in midfield.

      But Dortmund moved quickly to wrap up their big-money deal.
      And Bellingham admits it was an easy choice to move to the Bundesliga even though United were interested.

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      Bellingham had teammates in stitches with his initiation songCredit: Twiiter / @BlackYellow
      He told Sky Sports: “The hardest thing about leaving Birmingham was because I had been there so long.
      “It felt like they were a massive part of me, being a fan and then working all the way through the academy and playing for the first team.

      “I think in life you have to take opportunities, and this is a huge one for me to come and play for such a big club.
      “It wasn’t a hard decision for me to come here.”

      Meanwhile, Bellingham had his team-mates in stitches as he delivered his Dortmund initiation song.
      He bravely got up in front of his new colleagues to sing… but they’ll be hoping for better performances from him on the pitch than on stage.
      Reading lyrics from his phone screen, Bellingham attempted to perform something along the lines of Ne-Yo’s “So Sick”.
      But on video captured by Jadon Sancho, and posted to Instagram, Bellingham had his team-mates in absolute stitches.

      In fact, such was the volume of laughter from Sancho and Co, that Bellingham’s singing at points can hardly be heard… which is probably for the best.
      It all got a bit too much for Raphael Guerreiro, who found himself literally rolling on the floor with pained laughter at his new team-mate’s expense.
      Defender Dan-Axel Zagadou can also be seen howling with delight.

      Man Utd could face bidding war for Jadon Sancho as Dortmund hope to delay transfer until next summer More

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      Barcelona rejected chance to sign Bayern Munich wonderkid Alphonso Davies ‘because he’s Canadian’

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      BARCELONA reportedly rejected the chance to sign Alphonso Davies “because he is Canadian”.
      Bayern Munich’s whizkid is one of the world’s best left-backs and was outstanding in their recent 8-2 Champions League thrashing of Barcelona.

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      Barcelona reportedly rejected the chance to sign Alphonso Davies – because ‘he’s Canadian’
      But he could have been turning out for the Catalans as they were offered him before he signed for Bayern, according to Chilean journalist Luis Omar Tapia.
      Davies bagged a stunning assist after a solo run during Friday’s rout.
      And after his scintillating performance, Tapia tweeted: “Here is a did you know?

      “[Hristo] Stoitchkov spoke to [Barca chief Josep Maria] Bartomeu about Davies months before Bayern came on board. His response was, he is Canadian no thanks.”

      The 19-year-old has joint Canadian and Liberian citizenship.
      But he has 17 international caps for Canada and has bagged five goals from those games.
      He started his career with MLS side Vancouver Whitecaps before he was snapped up by Bayern in January 2019.

      “He’s just turned Nelson Semedo inside out! An experienced right-back… Whoops!”Wow, Alphonso Davies is just so difficult to stop 🔥A magnificent assist from Bayern’s rising star at left-back 🙌#Club2020 pic.twitter.com/NCbOrOyaJS
      — Football on BT Sport #Club2020 (@btsportfootball) August 14, 2020

      And having registered four goals and nine assists from 47 appearances since, he is now one of the first names on the team sheet at the Allianz Arena.

      After the Barcelona drubbing, Real Madrid left-back Marcelo wrote on Instagram: “You bring joy to my eyes when I see you play kid.”
      Barca’s humiliation has led to reports of a mass exodus this summer and iconic striker Luis Suarez is said to be on the transfer list.

      Here is a did you know? Stoitchkov spoke to Bartomeu about Davies months before Bayern came on board. His response was, he is Canadian no thanks. https://t.co/xOwFDy6OdM
      — Luis Omar Tapia (@LuisOmarTapia) August 15, 2020

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