BOXER Conor Benn has revealed he wanted to kill himself after being accused of taking a banned testosterone-boosting drug.The welterweight champ â son of ring legend Nigel Benn â confessed to Piers Morgan that he contemplated suicide after testing positive.
Conor Benn revealed he wanted to kill himself after being accused of taking a banned testosterone-boosting drugCredit: Getty
Conor told Piers Morgan: ‘Itâs hurt me. I didnât think I was going to make it through this period’Credit: TALK TV
Conor faces off with Chris Eubank Jr, left, and promoter Eddie Hearn before there 2022 bout was cancelledCredit: Reuters
With tears in his eyes, he revealed he also suffered night terrors and panic attacks in the wake of the drugs tests last autumn, while his son was subjected to vile racist abuse.
But Conor, 26, comes out fighting in his first televised interview since the scandal, to be shown on TalkTV at 8pm tomorrow night.
He strongly denied any wrongdoing and vowed to clear his name.
And in Piers Morgan Uncensored, Benn also reveals he wants to sue British boxingâs governing body for loss of earnings and damage to his reputation.
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Piers asked him: âTo be branded a cheat in the court of public opinion, what has that done to you?â
Conor said: âItâs hurt me. I didnât think I was going to make it through this period.
âItâs hard because I feel like I was on death row for something I hadnât even done.
âIf I had done something wrong, you know, I am human. I would raise my hands to it, âI made a mistakeâ.
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âI was sobbing most nightsâ
âWhatever it is, my personal life, I raise my hands. Never this.
âI felt like seven years of hard work and sacrifice and leaving my family, and the image I maintained, was just ruined at someone elseâs incompetence. Itâs been hard for the family.â
Piers asked: âWhen you say you didnât think you would make it, what did you mean?â
Conor said: âI was taking it day by day. I didnât think I would see another day.â
Asked if he was feeling suicidal, Benn replied: âYeah, I would say so.
âAnd it upsets me now because I donât know how I got so bad. I got in a really bad way.
âIf you think Iâm innocent or if you donât think I am innocent â I am innocent.â
Conorâs nightmare began as he was about to fight Chris Eubank Jnr â the son of another boxing legend â at Londonâs O2 Arena last October.
Although I had done nothing wrong, I was having night terrors, panic attacks. I was really struggling. I was in a really bad way.Conor Benn
But the British Boxing Board of Control â BBBofC â suddenly cancelled the much-hyped bout after two tests appeared to show that undefeated welterweight Benn had traces of testosterone-altering drug clomifene in his system.
Becoming emotional, he said: âI would never do this to my family. I would never do this to my supporters.
âDo you think I would do this to my dad? Do you think I would do this to my son, whoâs now got to grow up and look at this?
âItâs not who I am and it killed me because I was transparent with the public my whole career from 19 years old.
âIâm a grown man now who has worked hard over the years.â
Since being accused, Conor and his family â including young son, Eli â have been subjected to vile abuse on social media.
Piers asked him what had been the worst things he had read about himself in the last four months.
Conor said: âThereâs been too many. Kill yourself. Racist comments to my son, with my family.
âNothing in person. Itâs cowardly. I donât even think it was social media that bothers me.
âIt was more so of the shame I felt leaving the house, although I had done nothing wrong. I was having night terrors, panic attacks.
âI was really struggling and I was coping terribly with it. I was in a really bad way.â
Later, the boxer said: âI was sobbing most nights. I didnât want to go to sleep because I knew what I had to wake up to.
âYouâve got to remember this was a nightmare for me.
âHow has this happened? How have I got in this situation? My faith let me down.
Proud Conorâin church with his wife Victoria and baby son Eli in 2021Credit: INSTAGRAM/CONOR BENN
Son Conor isâhoisted by dad, boxing legend Nigel, after his 2018 Welterweight title winCredit: PA
Conor told Piers: ‘Itâs been brutal. It does feel like a witch-hunt’Credit: TALK TV
âI felt like I didnât understand why this had happened when Iâve done nothing but work diligently hard. I was in a dark way.â
Benn returned adverse findings for clomifene in two samples ahead of his bout with Eubank.
According to the World Boxing Council, there is no conclusive evidence Conor intentionally took the banned substance, which can boost testosterone levels by 50 per cent.
But he is now awaiting the verdict of a separate investigation by BBBofC and the UK Anti-Doping Agency which will decide whether Benn will receive a ban from boxing.
Conor told Piers: âItâs been brutal. It does feel like a witch-hunt.
âIâve never seen anything quite like this before in any other athlete, whether theyâve raised their hands to it or theyâve just taken a small ban.
âI was willing to fight and prove my innocence â although there was an easy way out at the beginning in lying and saying, âI may have accidentally done this, I may have done this by accidentâ and taken a small six month ban.
âInstead I chose to fight this because my integrity mattered more to me.
âI would never ever, ever raise my hands to something I ainât done.
âThis is the first time Iâve been able to speak on this.â
I would never do this to my family. I would never do this to my supporters. Do you think I would do this to my dad?Conor Benn
Conor refuses to believe there were any traces of the drug in his body and told Piers the test results could have been caused by âcontaminationâ due to mistakes in the lab.
He said: âIâm not saying that anyone in their labs deliberately did this. Iâm not saying that at all, but it may be an accident, it may be an error.
âWhy are people saying I may have needed a testosterone boost? Iâm 26 years old!
âI didnât even know what this thing was at the time.
âI donât accept it was in my body, not at all. Based on independent scientists looking at the reports, based on my own scientists looking at the reports and what we found.
âPeople say you may have paid for the best legal team. Damn right I paid for the best legal team, damn right I paid for the best scientists â my career is on the line.
âMy image is on the line. My name is on the line and I canât be known for this.â
Conorâs team of experts submitted a 270-page dossier, which he says clears his name, to the WBC.
Last month the WBC ruled that eating too many eggs could have produced the positive drug tests â but Conor has dismissed that theory.
He is not giving his legal teamâs file to the BBBofC, which has filed seven misconduct charges against him and has the power to ban him from fighting in the UK.
âMy name is on the line. I canât be known for thisâ
Conor said: âMy dad tore up his British boxing licence on TV in the 80s.
âI donât have to be licensed by the board. I donât plan on fighting in Britain any time soon.â
And when Piers asked what was stopping him from handing over the dossier to the UK boxing authorities, the fighter said: âMy pride, the way they have dealt with this.
Conor, who believes cheats in contact sports should be banned for life, said: âI want this to be finished and I want to resume with my career.â
He has has asked his promoter Eddie Hearn to find him the biggest fight possible.
The boxer would love to take on Chris Eubank Jnr next â but before he does that, that he has to clear his name.
As he told Piers: âI was born fighting, itâs in my blood.
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âBut this is the hardest fight Iâve ever had to face.â
Watch Piers Morgan Uncensored weekdays on TalkTV at 8pm. Available on Sky 522, Sky Glass 508, Virgin Media 606, Freeview 237 and Freesat 217 as well as on DAB, Amazon Fire TV, Apple TV, Samsung TV Plus, YouTube, the Talk.TV website and TalkTV iOS and Android apps.
You’re Not AloneEVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others…Â You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
Movember, www.uk.movember.com
Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774 Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm More