MATT HUDSON-SMITH has revealed he attempted suicide during three years of “absolute hell” before winning world 400m bronze.
Being dropped by his sponsors, the pain of long-term injuries, the isolation of living away from family during the Covid pandemic and significant medical bills all took their toll on his mental health.
Reluctant to give any further details or information, the quietly-spoken Brummie has said publicly for the first time he came closing to ending his life last year.
Thankfully, for him, his family and close friends, he is in a much better place now off the track.
And Hudson-Smith’s third-place finish at the Oregon World Athletics Championship has seen him finally deliver on his enormous one-lap potential.
Hudson-Smith explained: “When I saw my name on the board as third, I just dropped to the floor because these three years have been absolute hell.
“I was racing, knowing I was hurt all the time, going to races knowing I wasn’t 100 per cent. I couldn’t do the Olympics for several reasons.
“Everyone who has been around me – my agent, coach, family, girlfriend – have been the best support.
“But during Covid I was stuck in America by myself. I love America, but I wanted to be with my family.
“It was tough, man. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster.”
While sidelined through injury, Hudson-Smith – who is based now in Florida – says he accumulated a “huge debt” through the American healthcare system.
He added: “I didn’t have insurance. It’s America, man. It’s expensive.
“My mum and girlfriend were like, ‘Give it a year out there.’ I was going to be an electrician instead.
“And then obviously I was trying to get my Green Card, which got denied.
“Things work in mysterious ways. Now I’ve got this medal.”
ASDA TO ATHLETICS
It was back in the summer of 2014 when he first broke on the scene with a brilliant run at Glasgow that changed his life.
Back then he was working in Asda supermarket and considered joining the army – something his mum did not know anything about at the time.
After all the injury setbacks and near-misses, Hudson-Smith knew this Eugene event was his best chance and he came here in top form.
It was on this same track in May where he posted a Diamond League meeting time of 44.35 seconds that eclipsed Iwan Thomas’s 25-year GB record by 0.01sec.
American Michael Norman, who was on Hudson-Smith’s inside, won gold in 44.29 seconds while Grenadian Kirani James was second in 44.48 seconds.
As he crossed the line in 44.66 seconds, having held off the late challenge from US star Champion Allison, Hudson-Smith was warmly embraced by Welshman Thomas, who is at Hayward Field as part of the stadium announcing team.
Back in the BBC studio in London, Hudson-Smith’s advisor Christine Ohuruogu – the two-time women’s 400m world champion – was in a celebratory mood.
And a chance conversation with former 200m Olympic champion Tommie Smith – who did the one-fisted Black Power salute at the 1968 Mexico Olympics – helped him hang on for third.
Hudson-Smith, who won Britain’s first medal in the men’s 400m at world championship level since Roger Black’s silver at Tokyo 1991, said: “For the whole year my coach has been saying ‘the race is lost in the last 20 metres’.
“In the semis, I looked to my right and I lost my momentum. In the final, I was like: ‘Don’t look at the clock. Don’t do anything.’
I’ve seen it all and maybe I’ve shut up a few people
Matt Hudson-Smith
“I was at Puma House and I spoke with legend Tommie Smith. He said, ‘Don’t look to your left, don’t look to your right, just look straight forward.’
“I felt someone outside of me, and I thought, ‘Oh c***.’ When I crossed the line, I genuinely didn’t look at the scoreboard or anything.
“Okay, please don’t be fourth. I’d rather come last than fourth. I just dropped to the floor.
“I always knew I could medal and had the potential to do this. It just solidifies it.
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“I’ve seen it all and maybe I’ve shut up a few people.
“They might have said I should have stayed at home. I’ve heard everything. They can’t really say anything now.”
You’re Not Alone
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
Movember, www.uk.movember.com
Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774 Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm