Asked on the eve of this Champions League quarter-final which Real Madrid player he most coveted, the Chelsea manager could easily have dodged the question.
Karim Benzema heads Real Madrid into the leadCredit: GettyThe Frenchman celebrates with his team-matesCredit: PA
Instead, he insisted he wouldn’t be “boring” and nominated Karim Benzema.
You could interpret it as another slap round the chops for his own spluttering £97.5million centre-forward, Romelu Lukaku.
In truth it was just an admirably honest bloke answering a straight question.
But when Benzema rattled in a hat-trick inside 46 minutes, and Lukaku came off the bench to squander a glorious free header, the contrast could not have been clearer.
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Especially as Benzema’s first two had been magnificent nodded efforts, as brutal as Glasgow kisses.
The 34-year-old Frenchman is enjoying an extraordinary late peak to an already fine career and Chelsea may well have to pay by surrendering their European crown to the 13-time champions.
Chelsea visit the Bernabeu for Tuesday’s return, still with a glimmer of hope – especially with the away-goals rule now abandoned.
And they played their part in a belting contest – one of those Champions League knock-out ties which allow you to momentarily forget about the stench of elite-club ownership and marvel at the quality of the world’s finest footballers at the sharp end of this competition.
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But Real, stuffed full with experience and quality, showed why they remain the masters of this competition – even in a season where we might have expected complete Premier League dominance.
Chelsea’s season has suffered a major slump with two convincing home defeats in the space of four days.
Here they were, the champions of the world – but comfortably the second best side in West London during Saturday’s battering by Brentford. The European Cup holders with tumbleweed blowing through their directors’ box.
It was a weird backdrop to such a red-letter fixture – with the Bridge faithful watching the most famous club on Earth here for the first time, after last year’s semi-final was staged behind closed doors.
Carlo Ancelotti, the Double-winning Chelsea boss who was surely Roman Abramovich’s most hard-done-by managerial victim, had made it after a negative Covid test on the morning of the match.
The man with the arched eyebrow is still loved here and he has won this thing with both Real and AC Milan.
To think, old Carlo could have been enjoying a relegation six-pointer at Turf Moor instead of this had he opted to stay at Everton.
Another former Blue, keeper Thibaut Courtois, was given a more hostile reception, roundly abused by the Matthew Harding Stand.
From the off, Chelsea were zipping around a surface sodden by the piddling rain – seemingly keen to get Saturday’s debacle out of their system.
N’Golo Kante released Kai Havertz but the German skied his shot.
Yet the hosts were served a serious warning when Ancelotti’s men staged a slick break, which ended with Vinicius Junior cutting between two defenders and firing against the bar.
There was one wonky moment for Real when Eder Militao slipped, then wrestled over Havertz and escaped with a yellow card – with a Reece James free-kick pushed away by Courtois.
Then, though, that stunning double thrust from Benzema.
First, Vinicius exchanged passes with his centre-forward, then crossed for Benzema, who had located a vast swathe of empty turf to wallop a header into the top corner.
If that was magnificent, the second was none too shabby either.
This time, Benzema’s fellow old master, Luka Modric conjured a gorgeous centre from the right and the Frenchman peeled away from Thiago Silva, arched his back and steered this one back inside the near post.
Kai Havertz heads beyond Thibaut CourtoisCredit: RexBenzema, 34, profits on Mendy’s mistake to net his hat-trickCredit: AP
They say that such supreme headed goals are a dying art – but Benzema is pleasingly retro.
For a brief while the Bridge was, understandably, quelled.
But then Chelsea rallied and, five minutes before the break, they pulled one back through another decent nut job.
James cut back for Jorginho to curl in a peachy cross and Havertz was almost decapitated by a flying boot to head home – Courtois vainly getting a hand to it.
But Benzema should have had his treble before the break – Jorginho making a hash of attempting to intercept a Vincius centre but the Real skipper stabbing wide when an opportunity far more glaring than either of the two he’d converted.
Tuchel went hell-for-leather at the break, switching to a back four as he brought on Hakim Ziyech and Mateo Kovacic for Kante and Andreas Christensen.
But after 46 seconds of the second period, catastrophe struck as Casemiro wellied one upfield and Edouard Mendy, 30 yards off his line and with time to burn, chested down casually and horribly scuffed a pass towards Rudiger.
The big German still ought to have won a 50-50 with Benzema but he got his feet in a tangle and allowed the main man to claim the match ball by rolling into an empty net.
Chelsea wouldn’t go quietly – Cesar Azpilicueta rocketed one from 20 yards, forcing Courtois to leap and tip over.
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Then, Lukaku arrived and was soon presented with that glaring chance – heading wide from an Azpilicueta cross, before Mason Mount thundered a long-ranger just over.
There was no lack of energy from Chelsea but they could not match Benzema’s class – and hadn’t Tuchel just known it all along.
Carlo Ancelotti was animated on his return to Stamford BridgeCredit: AFP
