From 3D Flintoff to Peter Couch Potato, our armchair line-up fills the void of action during coronavirus lockdown

NOTHING can replace the real thing as the coronavirus pandemic continues to halt nearly all live sporting action around the world.

But there’s a time and a playstation for everything.

So as the world fights the greatest health crisis of modern times, we’ve put together a laptop-of-the-table squad for some escapism from the stark responsibilities imposed by the Covid-19 lockdown.

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CONS-OLE GUNNAR SOLSKJAER

Of course, It had to be Ole at the wii-l. The Norwegian boss deserves the control panel due to Manchester United’s surge in form just before Covid-19 forced football to suspend all action. And signing instant hit Bruno Fernandes for just £46.5million in January is now looking like Grand Theft.

VIRTUAL VAN DIJK

Liverpool’s £75million centre-back has shown robotic efficiency in the past 18 months. Surely the first name on the screen in any simulated XI.

PETER COUCH POTATO

Never the fastest of movers, the former England, Spurs and Liverpool beanpole striker was a magnetic target with his height and know-how. And as a pundit, it’s now sofa so good for the ever-popular (Spudulike) podcaster.

3D FLINTOFF

Larger than life on and off the cricket field, especially in England’s famous 2005 Ashes win, it’s natural the cavalier all-rounder should also have an extra dimension to his game in the virtual world.

MATTHEW SONIC THE HEDGEHOGGARD

Andrw Flintoff’s Ashes team-mate will surely rip through sides with the spike in speed to his run-up. The rebooted super Sonic seamer will be a Test for the best now he has extra bounce.

IAN CANDY RUSH

The Liverpool legend reached rare levels of ruthlessness in front of goal, especially aside all-time great Kenny Dalglish. He struggled in a brief spell with Juventus, but everything was fine and candy when he returned to Anfield in 1988. Now old enought to take SAGA holidays.

SUGAR PLAYSTATION LEONARD

With simulated Sugar in our line-up, you can choose one thump or two. Always on the button with his punching, the five-weight world champ was part of the “The Fabulous Four” of the 1980s – with Roberto Durán, Thomas Hearns and Marvin Hagler.

PAUL GAS-BITCOIN

The million-dollar question is whether the virtual Gazza will be the sterling performer he usually was for England, or the troubled performer whose stock fell off the field. The ex-Spurs, Newcastle and Lazio creator is arguably Britian’s most naturally gifted midfielder of the past 50 years.

PARK Wii SONG

Now a Manchester United ambassador after seven years playing at Old Trafford. so he should be a model companion for self-isolation. Park was South Korea’s most famous footballing export – until Son Heung-min won over Tottenham. Mind you, if it’s based on emotion, hyper-popular Son might win the fans’ vote, having had a wii cry or two in the past on the field and being known as an all-round jolly good chap.

SERGE KEYBOARD WARRIOR

With social media a battlefield where the timid become tough, the  Spurs full-back makes it into the team to land meaty tackles on online trolls.

MIKEL ATARI-ETA

After being Pep Guardiola’s No2 at Pac-Man City, the Spaniard is now shining back at Arsenal in his first stint as a manager. The ex-Gunners midfield stylist hopes his team can expose gaps in the opposition on the break – by, of course, becoming, Space Invaders.

ON THE SUBS’ SETTEE

DAVID SILVA-SURFER – Veteran of City’s golden days but can still teach the young ‘uns plenty with his sublime skills

HENRY COOPER MARIO – British boxing’s man of the people, Our ‘Enry gave Muhammad Ali a shock but never quite won the world title.

GARY TABLET –  Marauding ex-Liverpool left-back, from the generation before pills and supplements.

MICHAEL MEMORY STICH  – Who could forget Germany’s 1991 Wimbledon champion.

Getty Images – Getty

Getty Images – Getty

Source: Soccer - thesun.co.uk