THE world is a curious place at the moment.
To Ian Holloway it is also a mixture of spuds, beefy Scandinavians, hedge trimmers, metal detectors and a forthright and heartfelt view on the coronavirus crisis.
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Ian Holloway is being showered with affection by Grimsby fans amid the coronavirus crisisCredit: Getty Images
Grimsby’s colourful manager sees the light and the dark in it all and, like everyone else, is struggling to come to terms with it.
The most outspoken character in football admits he is going insane being locked away from the thing he loves most . . . people.
But there have been heart-warming moments, too, among the uncertainty.
Holloway, 57, said: “People in Grimsby have been amazing to me since I took the job. Everywhere I went they would come up and want to shake my hand.
“I can’t do that now, of course, and it’s so sad. But that hasn’t stopped the supporters performing amazing acts of kindness.
“Only yesterday I answered my doorbell and someone had left on my doorstep a massive bag of spuds and a big packet of toilet roll. They were from two lads who work in Louth Market.
“They were making sure we weren’t going without, bless them.
“It’s been unbelievable. We’ve had logs given to us — we’ve enough to give away now.
Flowers, chocolates, bottles of wine, letters, we’ve had the lot . . . so much kindness.”
Holloway made a decision to send his League Two players home with personalised training programmes rather than drag them in each day from far away, gambling with illness the whole time.
He said: “I am going mad being here. My missus, Kim, told me that if I carry on like I am, I will end up alone.
“We’re living in someone else’s house at the moment and I cannot stand being inactive.
“I cut the grass twice in a week and yesterday I’d just had enough of the hedges so I drove to a DIY store and bought some clippers.
“I’ve scalped the lot and my arms are now killing me but I have to be doing something.
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“I’m already on series six of The Vikings on Netflix. There’s nothing I don’t know about Ragnar Lothbrok — and I only started watching it the week before this all happened.
“I was visiting schools in Grimsby talking to the kids about supporting the local team and career planning.
“I knew I wanted to be a footballer from the age of six. One year 11 told me he wants to be an astrophysicist and I know that’s to do with physics and astronauts.
“But I can’t see the kids now and it’s so sad. I am a real people person and I just pray that we will all learn some lessons from all this.
“I see supermarket shelves being stripped bare and it’s soul-destroying. We can’t even go to our local pub, the Kings Head in New Waltham.
“That was the best part of the week for us. Life is weird.
“There are mad theories about where this virus has come from.
“But maybe we have all been a bit too greedy and we have had things too easy, everything on a plate in an instant.
“If we can learn that life is about each other, not greed, not about grabbing everything for ourselves, then maybe some good will come out of a depressing time of life.
“The young have got used to doing things without experiencing the consequences. That was never the case for me. Perhaps now it is payback time.
“How can anyone think they’ll go for a pint at the moment then go and see granny? It could kill her.
“And don’t get me started on the loo roll shortage. If there isn’t any, what’s wrong with using your hand and a hose pipe? Or maybe even a newspaper, although I have read they can block your toilet.”
Holloway, 57, has turned to treasure hunting to keep his busy mind occupied.
He has been traipsing through muddy fields with Kim, as they have been walking their four dogs with metal detectors swinging through the air.
He said: “It’s like a pancake round here, no hills for miles, so she’s like a mole, head down in the dirt, a**e up in the air. We won’t meet anyone in three hours.
“All the time my face is just looking down at the ground and I’m thinking, ‘Coins, coins, coins’ and what I end up with is an old, broken plate.”
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