PAUL MERSON has revealed he almost took his own life last year during the darkest days of his battle with alcoholism.
Arsenal great Merse, now 51, has struggled with drink and gambling problems for decades.
Paul Merson revealed he is sober from booze after a battle with personal demonsCredit: ITV
Merson revealed he reached his lowest point 12-months ago this week as he sat ‘with tablets in his hand’ after spiralling into depressionCredit: Hulton Archive – Getty
The former England star struggled with alcohol and gambling problems for decadesCredit: Getty – Contributor
The former England star is now a year sober – but revealed he reached his lowest point 12-months ago this week as he sat “with tablets in his hand” after spiralling into depression.
Opening up in his column with the Daily Star, Merson wrote: “On Monday I’ll have been sober for a year. But this time last year, I wanted to kill myself.
“I couldn’t go on any more. I just couldn’t see a way out. I had the tablets in my hand. I didn’t take enough to do anything but I had them there. With vodka. It was scary.
“It was only because of the kids really, and my wife, and a little bit of consciousness, that I didn’t.
It’s only now I know. I have an illness. I have a mental illness. I’ve accepted that now. Before, I used to beat myself up all the time.”
Paul Merson
“Fear probably as well. I was scared to do it. When you’re in that place, you don’t see how it’s ever going to pass. But I have the tools now. If I get into a real down situation, I know it will pass.
“I don’t want to kill myself any more. I don’t have those thoughts. I’m not carrying the world on my shoulders. Walking around with guilt.
“I’m not beating myself up, drinking and gambling all the time and asking why I’m doing this to myself.
“It’s only now I know. I have an illness. I have a mental illness. I’ve accepted that now. Before, I used to beat myself up all the time.”
Last year on an episode of Harry’s Heroes, viewers broke down in tears after emotional Merson admitted that his gambling addiction left him feeling “like a crack addict” as he lost £7million during the 1990s.
Merson admitted the root of his evil was alcohol – but revealed his life had been turned around after giving up booze.
He explained: “This is the best thing I’ve ever done. I was in bed on New Year’s Eve by 9.30. I went to an AA meeting, came home, watched The Sting and went to bed.
Paul Merson breaks down in tears saying ‘life has fallen apart’ after gambling left him ‘like a crack addict’ on Harry’s Heroes
“If I have one piece of advice to give to people – talk. Nothing ever gets better if you don’t talk. Once you talk to people you start seeing the light.
“I ring people up and tell them if I don’t feel good. Before, I sat indoors, pulled the curtains, and I’d watch the phone ring.
“I would literally watch people ringing me trying to help me, but I wouldn’t take the calls. It’s the worst place to be, having that fear that it’s never going to get better. You have to talk.”
IF you are having suicidal thoughts, suffering from anxiety or depression or just want to talk, call The Samaritans on 116 123.
The ex-Arsenal player is now a year soberCredit: Getty – Contributor
Merson admitted the root of his evil was alcohol but revealed his life had been turned around after giving up boozeCredit: Rex Features
Merson, who works as a pundit for Sky Sports, revealed that a year ago he wanted to take his own lifeCredit: Getty – Contributor
YOU’RE NOT ALONE – where to seek help
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
- Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
- Movember, www.uk.movember.com
Football legend Paul Merson reveals he would wake in the middle of the night to bet on under 20 Lithuanian basketball matches at height of gambling addiction
Source: Soccer - thesun.co.uk
