WHEN Newcastle told the world the man replacing Steve Bruce was going to be Eddie Howe, how we all sniggered.
All those Geordie dreams of Antonio Conte, Mauricio Pochettino and Zinedine Zidane shattered by the bloke who had been out of work since taking Bournemouth down.
Eddie Howe has done a remarkable job turning around Newcastle’s fortunesCredit: Reuters
But if he wasn’t so allergic to smiling, it’s nice guy Eddie who would be laughing now after proving to be the finest Transformer since Optimus Prime.
In less than six months at St James’ Park, Howe has taken Newcastle from bottom of the Premier League to the top half of the table.
And anyone who can turn Joelinton into the Brazilian Kevin De Bruyne must be some kind of miracle worker.
Only Liverpool and Manchester City have taken more points in 2022.
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Of course, he was helped by the fact that he was able to spend more money than any other manager during the January window to bring in Bruno Guimaraes, Dan Burn, Kieran Trippier, Chris Wood and Matt Targett.
Yet they weren’t exactly the kind of off-the-scale signings the club were originally linked with when the Saudis took over.
And it took more than just cash to convince those players to join a team who were stuck firmly in the relegation zone at the time.
But with their top-flight status assured, Newcastle will soon be able to make life very difficult for Manchester United, Spurs, Arsenal and Chelsea in the transfer market.
The so-called Super League clubs, in danger of being left behind by City and Liverpool, are planning major overhauls this summer.
But suddenly there is another competitor in the scrap for Europe’s top talent.
And Newcastle’s owners have the wealth to outbid just about anyone. None of this makes their ownership any more palatable. It remains a scandal they were ever given the green light to complete their £305million takeover.
Yet at least with Howe as their manager, Newcastle are not going to be rubbing their opulence in the faces of their top-flight rivals.
In fact it’s difficult to think of a less likely front man for the kings of bling than the understated 44-year-old.
And now that Amanda Staveley has finally piped down and adopted a lower profile, it is becoming increasingly difficult to mock the Magpies.
Which is no fun at all.
WAD IS EFL ON?
CAN’T help thinking the EFL are pushing their luck by demanding a 25 per cent cut of the Premier League’s broadcast cash as part of the ongoing review of English football.
Top-flight teams have already agreed to pay £1.6billion over the next three years to help keep the Football League afloat.
That’s still not enough for EFL chairman Rick Parry, though.
He wants another £1bn and is banking on the Government’s backing to help him get his way.
But just like buying a bottle of vodka for an alcoholic, the Premier League fears handing extra cash to the Championship spendthrifts is only going to feed bad habits.
And when you look at the way the likes of Derby, Reading and Birmingham have been run in recent years, you can understand those concerns.
The very last thing that football needs right now is the threat of intervention from this shambles of a Government.
Because it is only when you see pictures of the Prime Minister trying to kick a ball at bankrupt Bury that you realise just how much worse things could get for the game.
Rick Parry wants another £1bnCredit: PA
PLANE STUPID
TYSON FURY is adamant he has thrown his last punch in a boxing ring after banking another £22million for beating Dillian Whyte.
So now that the search is on for a new heavyweight champion, how about that bloke on the plane who got into a row with Mike Tyson?
He’s proved he can take a punch by copping half a dozen right-handers from the most fearsome fighter of his generation.
And there’s no danger of him having his brains scrambled considering he was already stupid enough to wind up the baddest man on the planet.
Most people wouldn’t mess with Iron MikeCredit: AFP
WIMBO NOT DIM
IF EVER Wimbledon needed to justify their decision to ban Russian players, they need only point to Vladimir Putin’s meeting with teenage drug cheat Kamila Valieva.
You might recall Valieva as the 16-year-old ice skater whose Olympic gold medal has been withheld as a result of a positive dope test.
Yet that did not prevent her being feted by Putin at a Moscow ceremony this week.
The butcher of Ukraine declared: “It is impossible to achieve that kind of perfection dishonestly.”
Says the most dishonest man in the world.
Even with his country on the brink of World War Three, Putin remains obsessed with Russia’s sporting prowess.
And the fact that so many major events are now closed to his country is clearly driving him mad. Or madder.
Vladimir Putin poses with Kamila ValievaCredit: AFP
JUST SAVE IT FOR SAVES
ARSENAL keeper Aaron Ramsdale went full Martin Keown when Bruno Fernandes’ comedy penalty hit the post the other day.
And he wasn’t going to let the fact that he had been sent completely the wrong way spoil his celebrations.
It wasn’t on quite the same scale as Middlesbrough’s Joe Lumley after their FA Cup shootout win at Old Trafford.
Because Lumley hadn’t saved any of the nine spot-kicks he faced from Manchester United that night.
Yet it still didn’t prevent him from partying like Boris Johnson when Anthony Elanga put his penalty into the Stretford End.
Aaron Ramsdale celebrates Bruno Fernandes’ penalty missCredit: PA
COACH CLASS
EMMA RADUCANU has now had more coaches than wins following her decision to dispense with the services of Torben Beltz.
If she is not careful, the US Open champion will soon be known as the greatest one-hit wonder since Chumbawamba.
Emma Raducanu will be in action in Madrid without a coachCredit: Getty
GOOD INNINGS
THE ECB and latest chief Rob Key’s online advert for a new head coach for England’s red-ball side is promising extra holidays for the successful candidate.
Will that be the fifth day of all our Tests matches?
Rob Key is promising plenty of holidaysCredit: Getty
