RANGERS hero Fernando Ricksen’s battle with motor neurone disease is detailed in a new book The Final Battle, written by his biographer Vincent De Vries and widow Veronika Ricksen.
Our exclusive serialisation of the late Dutch ace’s struggle with the muscle-wasting illness will tell of moments from his heartbreaking diagnosis in October 2013 up to his death aged 43 last September.
Fernando Ricksen with wife Veronika
Today, Veronika reveals how he turned to cocaine for a short time as he struggled to come to terms with the scale of the fight that lay ahead.
FERNANDO Ricksen lapsed back into taking cocaine just months after his MND diagnosis because it had ended his career coaching kids, his widow believes.
Veronika, 34, told how the devastated former Rangers ace binged on the Class A drug and booze as he struggled to cope with the enormity of fighting his incurable condition.
But she revealed the Dutch star quit for good and became a “better person” when she threatened to leave with the couple’s daughter Isabella, now eight.
Recalling the fallout from Fernando’s medical bombshell in 2013, the mum of one told The Scottish Sun: “He was really frustrated about not being able to play football. It was everything to him.
The Rangers legend struggled after being diagnosed with MNDCredit: (C)P&I
“He couldn’t do his youth coaching any more and he couldn’t handle it. He started drinking and using again for a while.
“It was his way to relax and take off his stress. It was maybe three to four times in the middle of 2014. Isabella was only two and a half so I didn’t want her to see him like that.
“He knew I was against it. If he kept doing it, I said I’d have to leave. Isabella can’t see this.
“But he said he was sorry and he’d never do it again.
“I think he became a better person after that. He realised what he’d done and was very sorry.”
Fernando previously admitted taking coke “almost daily” and failed a drugs test at Russian club Zenit St Petersburg in 2009.
It was believed the ex-Ibrox skipper — who went into rehab in 2006 to deal with drink issues — had been clean until his death aged 43 at St Andrew’s Hospice in Airdrie last September.
But Veronika revealed her husband’s relapse and beer and spirits sessions in new book Fernando Ricksen: The Final Battle.
The Ibrox hero was devastated that he couldn’t go into coachingCredit: Kenny Ramsay – The Sun Glasgow
In a diary entry from 2015, she told biographer and pal Vincent De Vries: “The coke wasn’t a problem, to tell you the truth. It made him a relaxed person. The real problem was alcohol.
“He drank so much, it wasn’t funny any more. And most of the time it was hard liquor.
“When drunk, he did the most ridiculous things, like p***ing in a chest of drawers in the middle of the night.”
Veronika said the Gers idol managed to turn his life around and later joked he was pleased he had MND as it meant he couldn’t abuse drink or drugs.
The ex-model, who lives in Valencia, Spain, added: “I can’t judge him because anyone put in his shoes, what would you do?
“If you’re young and told you might only live a few months, it’s hard. He couldn’t stop drinking but towards the end of his life he told me he was happy he had MND as he couldn’t drink or take drugs anymore.
“He couldn’t have used it towards the end, even if he wanted to. If he had one sip of alcohol he’d have choked but he obviously never asked for it.”
The book also details the ups and downs of their relationship, including Fernando going AWOL for three weeks.
Widow Veronika has written ‘The Final Battle’ along with Vincent de Vries
But Veronika insisted any issues were because they were fiery characters, and she can only recall the “happy memories”.
She added: “It was hard reading back about our relationship. We had happy and sad moments. We’re both very passionate.
“We loved each other to death but we also wanted to kill each other at times. He used to jokingly text me, ‘I love you so much but I hate you so much’.
“The time he went missing for three weeks he just came back smiling with those white teeth.
“We did have a lot of fights, but most of the time we had fun and happiness. I don’t remember the bad days now, only the good days.”
The book was released in Fernando’s native Holland this month.
Veronika has been bombarded with positive feedback and now hopes all footie fans snap up a copy here.
She said: “The book made me laugh and cry. People that have read it in Holland have said the same.
“We’ve had lots of nice messages. I’m happy they like it.
“It was emotional to read it back. The most difficult bit was his last messages to me. I know I’ll never get them again.
“Fernando didn’t want to hide anything. He wanted people to see the truth, be honest and open.
“There’s so many funny stories. There’s one about him taking his mobility scooter down the highway, which made me angry at the time but laugh now.
“Hopefully people buy the book and enjoy it. He could be difficult because of how hard he found MND but he was a good person. I still miss him a lot.”
Bella can be so stubborn like her dad
VERONIKA has revealed their daughter Bella is becoming more and more like her dad.
The widow revealed she is seeing a similar “stubborn” streak — and told of her sorrow that Fernando won’t get to see little Bella grow up.
The couple’s cherished girl recently celebrated her eighth birthday and found it tough without her father there.
Veronika said: “Her birthday was weird because Fernando always tried to make a big party and celebration.
“I tried to do my best but I can tell she knows he’s not here. It was hard for her.
“She kept saying, ‘Mama I want my papa back’.
“It’s not fair her father is taken away. She’s just turned eight.”
She added: “I can see Isabella is a copy of him. She’s just as stubborn.
“If I tell her ‘You must do this’ or ‘You can’t have sweeties’, she just says she will do it.
“I just tell her ‘you’re just like your father’. It makes me laugh.”
In the book Fernando talks of his love for Bella — and how he dreamt she would become a footballer like him one day.
Veronika also tells how much he adored their daughter and how he put so much effort into her seventh birthday party.
Vincent wrote in the June 2019 entry: “Yesterday was Isabella’s seventh birthday and it was celebrated in great style.
“At the hospice in Scotland, with mother Veronika, father Fernando, balloons, birthday cake and lots of presents.
“All Nando’s work!” says Veronika, with a proud smile. “Many healthy fathers won’t make that effort! Look at the bond they have. I sometimes envy Bella!”
‘Hidden’ Euro ban for Russia test fail
RICKSEN revealed European footie chiefs secretly banned him for a year following a drink and drugs binge.
In an exclusive interview in 2013 the ace said he failed a doping test while playing for Russian side Zenit St Petersburg.
He told The Scottish Sun: “That Uefa ban was hidden away in what I call my missing year. I told people I had fallen out of love with football and was quitting.
“The truth was the injuries, my divorce and being so far away in Russia had taken its toll. I was taking coke almost every day.”
Adapted by Scottish Sun reporter Ben Archibald from Fernando Ricksen: The Final Battle – Life with MND by Vincent De Vries and Veronika Ricksen. The book is available from June 22 for £16.99 and in e-book form for £9.99 and orders can only be made online at www.fernandothebook.com. Part of the proceeds from the sale will go to the Rangers Charity Foundation.
Source: Soccer - thesun.co.uk
